anxiousrock

So finding out I am depressed made me....really depressed. Not sure what to do.
I got today off work and my boss called to tell me I did something wrong while she was away (I just started this job 2 weeks ago and was alone after 4 days while manager went on holidays).
It wasn’t a big mistake, but she just sounded disappointed.
So I’ve been crying for 45 minutes.

doggonecarl

Where did you get the diagnosis of depression? I thought all you had was an appointment with a counselor.

anxiousrock

She did some test thing and said I’m most likely depressed and didn’t know it.
I’ve had depression in the past, so it makes sense to me.
Although I could just be sad because I relapsed too.
I have go do an intake to see a different counsellor and get a referral to their doctor.

ScottFromWI

Alcohol is a depressant and depression is very common in Alcoholics. I'm glad you have sought help for it Anarock, please do continue working with your counselor.

I think it's also very important that you realize that you are still only a few days out from another drinking episode. You are still likely physically withdrawing, and that causes all kinds of mood swings. As you build up more sober time, things will definitely even out...but you have to be prepared for a bit of a rollercoaster for a while.

Take a walk, read a book, go to a meeting, call some numbers - get yourself up and moving around physically and mentally. That will definitely help!

zjw

i was very depressed for a long time and never new it. when i finally realized it and told others around me they all said "your just now realizing this?"

The good news is you can pull yourself out of it.

Dont beat yourself up over a mistake its not gonna get you too far.

what worked for me was doing things i was good at often. this made me feel a sense of self worth like I was worth soemthing for some reason. believe me ya know what i did? I cleaned kerosene lamps up and polished them. WTF cares. but it made me feel good so i kept doing it. then I found other things to do.

Do things you like doing and do them often this also helps. Get outside get some sunshine go for a walk. after a 5 min walk your mood should start to perk up keep doing it. Some days i'd walk for 10 min and go oh screw this isnt working but it iddnt happen to often. Usally I had to drag myself out there kciking and screaming like a baby but once i was out there i did ok.

Showing up is half the battle. Sometimes all you can do in life is show up and yell "present". The rest doesnt always matter much after that.

hang in there.

entropy1964

Everyone makes mistakes Anarock. E-ver-y-one. You're new at this job.

Take drinking out of the equation and I still have trouble coping. Alcohol was my coping mechanism and we know how that turns out. So now, I have to learn to cope with life. Every person on this planet has to cope with things outside of them that are sometimes tough.

Your boss calls and tells you an error was made. Ok. So you can put the "I'm a failure. I suck. My boss is 'disappointed' filter on it, or you can choose to put the 'I made an error. When I get back to work I will ask my boss to walk me through it so I know not to make it in the future. They hired me for this job. I am capable of doing it. I am human' filter on it. Catastrophizing never improves a situation. Negative reactions don't change the outcome. Respond. It will be fine.

You are doing great. Hang in there.

anxiousrock

I absolutely plan on continuing with my counsellor. I already have 2 more appointments booked.
Fortunately I don’t have any withdrawal symptoms. I’ve been continuing with my regular life...work, appointments, gym .