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Has this ever happened to you...?

Old 03-03-2018, 01:04 PM
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Samantha
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Has this ever happened to you...?

I read this story on social media.
A couple was on vacation at a very high end resort in the Caribbean (an English speaking country).
It was all inclusive, but they called to mention ahead of time that the gentleman was a recovering alcoholic (20 years+).
When they arrived and were checking in, they were offered beverages....ALCOHOLIC! They requested non-alcoholic and explained to them that he could not have alcohol.

So later on that night, he ordered a coke.
THEY BROUGHT HIM RYE AND COKE and he took he took a drink without knowing!!!

What do you do in this case? Certainly he wouldn't be drunk from a few sips, but does that break your sobriety?
I would be heartbroken for him.
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Old 03-04-2018, 05:49 AM
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Yes I've heard of stuff like this. Especially at all inclusives where English is the second language. I think most people seek out all inclusives because there is so much liberal boozing. So to be at one and NOT drink is unusual, but not unheard of. I would have my partner test each drink or order the drink in the can, with a glass on the side.

And if this did happen, who cares? If it didn't cause some big downward spiral, which I believe is unlikely unless that spiral was already eminent, then move on. No it doesn't break sobriety. Sobriety is first and foremost about intent/motive.

I had to google what Rye even is. I thought it was bread
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:03 AM
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It appears there is something wrong with you if you don't drink in this world. I have been for family meals when there is red or white wine on offer during dinner, I have had to get up and go to the bar for a diet coke. Worst bit is when they divide the bill! I am not cheap/tight and I wouldn't resent paying more than I had eaten but I hate paying for other peoples drinks.

And I wouldn't go near an all inclusive to be honest, they are full of drinkers. I used to love them! A cruise is better, most american cruises have AA meetings, and the food is all included but not the drink, that's the best way.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:33 AM
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I wouldn't count it but I know many here would. It depends on your perspective, I am not afraid to cook with it even if it still has a little alcohol I'm not trying to get drunk with it.

I think a lot of people overlook how important your own mental outlook on drinking is. Once I got past the mental impulse to drink it didn't bother me anymore. Now I know some people are just steadfast against it and worry that even the slightest bit will set them off. For me that is almost like being a dry drunk, if years later you are still worried about a small amount triggering you then your mind has never really let go of it. The mental impulse still holds into the back of your brain waiting to come out.

It's also a big reason why I was always against the idea of talking about drinking daily or even weekly as a form of deterrent. I went to a counselor for several months when I was still trying to quit and he was always trying to get me to join groups that would have me thinking about drinking all the time. I told him straight out that I no longer want drinking to define me, that these meetings would only hold my brain in a supsended state of alcoholic thinking. I wanted to be rid of alcohol entirely and so I did just that. I began to forget about alcohol all together in every form. eventually my brain accepted it and now I can even be where drinking is and not care. If this coke slip up happened to me I would simply stop drinking it and find a drink without. Truth be told though, as part of my stance on non alcoholic thinking I never would have been there in the first place. There are circumstances though, a wedding or other get together where a toast happens or even just a casual dinner where every one orders alcohol. I just order a soda and make sure it is just soda after I sip it. If it happens, no harm no foul as long as I stop drinking it my sobriety date will stay unchanged.
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Old 03-04-2018, 07:05 AM
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I think it is all personal.

Over new years I had a horrible cold. I asked dh to go get cough medicine. We were in an outport town, gas station was the option. He brought some home, I took it and then went, did that have alcohol in It? It didn't matter. I was sick and a teaspoon of cough syrup alcohol or not isn't going to lead me back to drinking. Nor did it mean and I still don't know if it had alcohol, that I broke my sobriety.

We are going all inclusive to a fsmily resort this fall. We will have a family bungalow, we are doing all inclusive despite the fact only Dh might have a beer. 6 people only one might drink, but I want use of all the pools and amenities.

I think there has to be intent to break sobriety. If there is not a conscious decision, then there is no break. However while an accidental slip probably wouldn't affect me, it very might well someone else.
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Old 03-04-2018, 07:58 AM
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Mistakes certainly happen, but it's also possible to just be aware of what you are drinking before you drink it. Yes, someone could hand you an alchoholic drink even if you didn't ask for one, but you can also smell it before you drink it - it's not like we wouldn't know, right?

It's easy to try and use these kinds of stories to "blame society" for our drinking problems, but it's also possible to just use them as a reminder to be vigilant. You control what you put into your body, so if you are really in doubt ask your server to take a drink of it first and confirm that there is no alcohol.
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Old 03-04-2018, 09:05 AM
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I worked as a server for years in a really busy bar/restaurant.

I don't know that this sort of thing is very common, but of course anything can happen.

I've never unintentionally drank alcohol. I can smell it a mile away, especially with just a mixer like coke.

I also have never called ahead to say I was an alcoholic, I just don't drink when it comes up. Sounds like this guy was looking for a reason to create a legal issue or seeking attention/drama.

Sadly, that doesn't surprise me one bit.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by MyLittleHorsie View Post
I think it is all personal.

Over new years I had a horrible cold. I asked dh to go get cough medicine. We were in an outport town, gas station was the option. He brought some home, I took it and then went, did that have alcohol in It? It didn't matter. I was sick and a teaspoon of cough syrup alcohol or not isn't going to lead me back to drinking. Nor did it mean and I still don't know if it had alcohol, that I broke my sobriety.

We are going all inclusive to a fsmily resort this fall. We will have a family bungalow, we are doing all inclusive despite the fact only Dh might have a beer. 6 people only one might drink, but I want use of all the pools and amenities.

I think there has to be intent to break sobriety. If there is not a conscious decision, then there is no break. However while an accidental slip probably wouldn't affect me, it very might well someone else.

agreed. I took Nyquil with alcohol in it during my last illness. I bought it between patients because I was so congested I couldn't see, the other types make my heart race and I needed to be well enough to work. It didn't trigger me, there's still nearly a full bottle in the cabinet, just a teaspoon at a time and I could work through my symptoms. I don't catastrophize these things. Its not an intent to drink or giving in to the addiction.

You could look at benzos for anxiety or pain pills for pain in the same way. Its for a purpose. These drugs also activate the same addiction pathways but when they are needed they are needed.
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:09 AM
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I cook with wine. I serve beer and wine to my guests that still drink, as long as there are not sober people there who might be triggered. It is not one of my triggers. Hard liquor does trigger me, I can't have it in the house.

I wouldnt go to an all inclusive or a cruise because I wouldn't like to be triggered in a situation where one of the objectives is to drink as much booze as possible, or being around a bunch of really drunk people. Also both types of vacations sounded dreadful to me even when drinking.

Everyone has their own path to sobriety. I dont think an unintional sip breaks sobriety, but i also rarely count my days. Length of sobriety doesn't matter much to me, just that i remain sober today.
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