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My av is strong

Old 02-27-2018, 09:53 AM
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My av is strong

Hello

I'm new here but have been reading the boards for about a month, lots of invaluable information and experiences from others.
I stopped drinking on February 8th so 19 days now, first 3 days where pretty bad, I'd been on a binge for about a week and decided enough is enough. I didn't drink every day, I could take a few days off then back on it again, sometimes it was 5 beers a day (when I thought I was in control)Then it would escalate to maybe 20 beers a day plus a bottle of wine. I'd have to tell myself to stop and do some work, make some money, see my kids etc but it would never last for long and back into the old cycle again.
I'm feeling really good at the moment but I'm also going through a divorce which is a bit stressfull, this last week has been very difficult and the last couple of days the urge to drink / escape has been strong.

Any advice on how to stop this urge would be appreciated, what have others done to overcome it?

Thanks for a great forum, It has been a huge help, I don't think I would have made it this far without it
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Old 02-27-2018, 10:12 AM
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Welcome and congrats on your sober time.

Originally Posted by ballachiot View Post
Any advice on how to stop this urge would be appreciated, what have others done to overcome it?
I don't think you can stop the urge, certainly not at 19 days. But you can ride it out. Read this about Urge Surfing:

https://portlandpsychotherapyclinic....lp-cope-urges/
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Old 02-27-2018, 11:59 AM
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It takes time. When I stopped drinking (and it was daily habitual drinking) it took me a few months to gain some stability. The urges would come and go. I planned my days so that they were filled with activity and structure. This seemed to help me the most.

This too shall pass. It does take time.
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Old 02-27-2018, 03:53 PM
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Take a walk or go to the gym, hot shower, eat something, watch a movie, read and post here on SR. DO NOT DRINK! Hang in there...it WILL get easier!
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Old 02-27-2018, 05:47 PM
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It definitely takes time but youíre off to an excellent start!
Usually when my urges get really bad I either talk to someone or go to an AA meeting.
When I reach that point itís not something the gym or a walk will stop. Iíd just walk to the liquor store 🤣.
Just take it one day at a time and youíll be fine.
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Old 02-27-2018, 06:06 PM
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Support really helps too Ballachiot - glad you found us!

Why not check out our Class of February support group? Its for everyone quitting this month and all you have to do is join is post

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pt-2-a-15.html

D
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Old 02-27-2018, 10:23 PM
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The trouble with my AV was that it was (probably still will be when it pops up again at some unknown point ) a realky good liar, and because it is part of me, it knows all my weak points - my fears and where my most cringeing inner shame lays. So it could put me in a place of pain and realky mess up the quality of sobriety even if I didn't drink. Thing is, I found that when I voiced those thoughts that came from my AV, the cold light of day withered them. Whereas, when I kept those horrible toxic thoughts to myself, I gave them the perfect conditions to grow. So, I've learned to tel, someone what I'm thinking. Here, or my sponsor, or one of my close friends in recovery if it's something too personal, or someone at an AA meeting (not necessarily the whole room during the meeting - often just voicing it to someone as we make a coffee or wash up, or wait for the meeting to start - It just takes the power out of those thoughts.

Sure, those thoughts can be crazy. Silly. Embarrassing . But that's the nature if addiction. (You'll notice I didn't include any of the Normies who love me in who i talk to about those AV thoughts - my partner, mum, or non-recovery friends). That's because those thoughts tend to worry those people, or the just can't understand how something so unlikely to be true can affect us so adversely. Other alcoholics in recovery DO understand.

Maybe we should have a 'Things My AV is Telling Me Today' thread on here.

BB
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Old 02-28-2018, 02:55 AM
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Thanks for all your replies and encouragement
Today seems a lot easier, last couple of days were a bit of a nightmare, crazy ex wife, lawyers, banks etc. But it's calmer today. I guess it's just my normal reaction to problems...drink something.
When I think about it, it was my reaction to most things, have a bad day, drink to forget, have a good day, drink to celebrate. It's nuts really but I'm trying to understand why I did it. Probably the same as a lot of people, not being able to control your emotions and using drink to dull everything but I'm on 3 weeks tomorrow and look forward to making a month in 8 days time.
I'm going for a walk now, a bit of fresh air

Thanks again to all
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Old 02-28-2018, 04:26 AM
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This is a hind sight thing, but my experience was that I never heard any AV. I simply chose to not drink after the last bender and then, after a few days, I was drinking again. No fight, no discussion just a determination to not drink and then insanely changing my mind. Most of the time I don't even remeber taking the first one. In a way there was no urge to fight, as it overpowered my will before I even knew it. But I understand what you mean by the urge.

On my last legs I tottered into AA and began to sincerely work the program. I didn't understand the program, I just believed it was my last hope. I was there to quit for good. To find a lasting solution. On my own the best I could manage was about 21 days. I couldn't see how I would last longer than that. hat was my experience.

So it was head down trying to find this Higher Power. Time went by and my sponsor called one day to tell me I had been sober 90 days. No one was more surprised than me. I had gone all that time witout any serious urge to drink. The problem had been removed. I didn't have to fight or resist any strange voices, obsession was gone. I was at step nine when all that happened. 38 years later and I still have had no urge to drink.
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Old 03-04-2018, 08:23 AM
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So I'm 4 days away from 4 weeks and feeling pretty good. What I have noticed is my new ability to deal with life. I haven't seen my kids for over a week due to the way the school holidays fall here and won't see them for another 5 days. If I was drinking I would struggle to cope with this, the anxiety and depression would be driving me to drink more. Not the case now.

Proof that life is easier (better) without booze.

Think I'm losing weight too, trousers keep falling down, I'm on my last belt hole

Just me thinking aloud really but thought I'd put it in a post.
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Old 03-04-2018, 08:25 AM
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...and it gets even better...

Well done, you!
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Old 03-04-2018, 05:58 PM
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Glad things are going well ballachiot

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