JamesSquire

Hi All

So, I was asked this question today.

What do YOU want to achieve by giving up drinking .... What do YOU imagine the new YOU to be like ... what is the new YOU going to do different ....why is the new YOU better than the old one ???

WOW! I thought this would be an easy answer but NO! I'm struggling with this one. Yes life would be better for me and everyone around me but what is the NEW ME!

How do I reinvent myself?

I can still go on as is but I know in myself it's not good.

Any insight to how you tackled this?

Love some input,
JS

tomls

I kinda wondered the same thing. Now I am just letting it happen and enjoying every day. Some days are better than others but they are all a lot better than they used to be! I love life now. I didn't before. And it just keeps getting better.

Gottalife

Tough question for a newly sober alcoholic whose imagination has strangely deserted him. Alcoholics of my type always sell ourselves short on this question.

At six weeks sober I wanted to be a cab driver. I liked driving cars and I liked reading books, which is what I thought cab drivers did.

God wasn't having any of that! The police turned down my application for a license. God had a different plan. I eneded up on a work scheme at the university where a very kind professor managed to get me through the last of my trade qualification.

From there I moved into a trainee job, sales, then management, then senior management roles, then self employment, to early retirement where I can travel the world and carry the AA message. And that is just work life. Family and social turned out to be so much better than I could have imagined.

The abreviated AA program, Trust God, clean House, help others, certainly worked for me.

Life is what happens while you are making other plans.

SnazzyDresser

I've been sober a year now. I don't think I'm a new me, I think I'm the same person as before but improved without the daily poisoning I afflicted upon myself.

There were a lot of knots in my thinking that I've been able to loosen and untangle to some extent. This sober version of me is gonna be a lot closer to the real me than the drunk was.

PeacefulWater12

It all changed slowly for me as I worked and continue to work my recovery program.

I discovered I am a quiet, introvert person. I am not the vulgar, swearing, loud, know it all woman I was when I was drinking.

My appearance also altered very much over my sober time. Out went the dressing like a teen despite me being my 50's. I thought I looked cool and young! No, just silly!! haha!

That I love quiet activities. That I seek out and attract other people who are similar, and enjoy their quiet company. I love and thrive on plenty of time on my own.

Husband and I used to rush around, were away from home for months on end. Drinking, running, drinking, racing around, drinking.....

Now we both love our home and the stability of knowing we won't be dashing around the country, living out of a suitcase!

All exactly the opposite of what I thought I was like.

Its an exciting, fun, frightening at times journey, in my experience.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Hope you get as much from your journey as I am from mine.

Ken33xx

Well, after getting sober I began to do all the things I talked about when drinking. Granted nothing panned out the way I liked. However, that's not so important.

What's important is I put forth a serious effort and tried. No mid-life crisis for me.

Dee74

I had no idea who the new me might be - I had no point of reference.

Turns out tho I began to remember a me I'd forgotten about - that me resurfaced, matured by a couple of decades of experience.

I think you'll like the old/new sober you once you give him the chance to reappear James

D

Dropsie

For me, its all about doing the next right thing, and the next, and the next.

Not talking about, doing.

I always knew what was right, it was the doing that is hard, but that is possible as a teatotaler.

The rest I try to leave to the universe, and to trust myself.

Basically what the others said...

shortstop81

I slowly began to realize that I generally like the person I am, so I don't have any huge ideas of who I'd like to be, other than sticking to my sober path and being myself.

I'm great as long as I stay in recovery. I began to hate who I was when I went back out and drank.

I have lots of things going for me, so it's not so much about what I want to gain in recovery (although there has been plenty and there will be plenty more) but more about what I stand to lose if I choose to drink.

ScottFromWI

To me being honest is very important, and getting sober allowed me to learn how to do that. Honesty to myself about my addiction, and being honest and upfront to people around me.

JamesSquire

Thanks for all the replies guys.
You helped heaps.
I realise now there is no Reinvented ME but the OLD me.
I've been drinking for so long that I have forgotten the old me. I need to make a list.
My psychologist suggested we try hypnotherapy but before we try it he asked me to think about what I would like achieve. It's seems easy but I'm struggling to find an answer.
Yes to the no apathy, Yes to the clear head, Yes to the better relationships, Yes to the remembering what I said and did Yesterday ... that's the old me.
I think, I've answered my own question, thanks to everyone's help.

Nesta0601

Not sure who I would want to be but I have found I'm the driven kid that I was before, the kid that started a marketing company at 16, the kid that loved art, the kid that loved surfing, the kid that loved rescuing dogs. I was that same person while drinking but it was subdued and buried under a "I will do that tomorrow" and not the "well what better time than right now?" kid I always was.

PeacefulWater12

Thank you for spelling this out, Dropsie.

This was the biggest help in my quitting and then recovery work journey. "Not talking about, doing".

JamesSquire

Oh! that's so me, "I will do that tomorrow"
Dee once said that he believed the apathy is addiction driven, certainly feels that way.

Thanks again for the replies

Forward12

Think back to the days when you were a kid. Remember when you had the time of your life, completely sober? All those good times without a drop of alcohol?
It can happen again!

bigsombrero

Good point about not reinventing yourself - but rather finding your old self.

After you get sober, you have to go back to who you were BEFORE you started drinking. In my case, that means that at age 36 I needed to go back and become my 17 year-old self again. It's a very strange process. Who was I? What were my insecurities and fears back then? What were my strong points?

I found that I was naturally a quieter, more private person. It takes a while to settle back into yourself. Once you've done that, you can make changes to your lifestyle that work for the adult self. It doesn't happen overnight, have patience and persistence!

Mizzuno

I think the "reinvent" comes in the thoughts of what and who we want to be in the world. I had a hard time keeping commitments to myself while actively drinking. I wanted to run every day. I wanted to physically feel good on most days. I wanted to align and heal myself. Give myself a chance to realize and actualize my dreams/ life.

The dreams have changed for me over the years. The one thing I know for certain is that I am not my authentic self while engaged in active alcoholism. I am not stable.

You will grow and change and that is for certain. Change is inevitable.

Stayingsassy

I'm still on the down low! Not much socializing. Just work, home, husband, kids, and checking in on my parents.

I don't want to reintegrate with drinkers so i have avoided friends.

I've been tired, so I have just done what needs to be done: lots of work days, Cross fit workouts, shopping for groceries and cooking. Sleeping. And way too many baths.

Starting to think about gardening more. I want green and blooming things around me.

I'd like to read more, and play my piano more.

I don't have as much personal time as I'd like, on days off I am so busy caring for family I haven't thought much about me, and life does feel like a grind now. Since that doesn't mean drinking any more, it's my journey to figure out why that is and what I can do about it.

I don't know what "recreation" means for me. It meant lots of drinking, for a long, long, long time and now "recreation" freaks me out still. But I am still just going on five months. Baby steps.