Forgetting how to hold a conversation properly...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Words are my currency as well.
Usually, I do fairly well, but sometimes, in my haste, Mrs. Malaprop will jump up and bite me, thereby causing embarassment.
My favorite author is Ernest Hemingway (we have a Hemingway room in our house), and he was constantly in search of the right word to create the perfect sentence.
My wife and I both have degrees in English (literature concentration), but I cherish literature more than she does.
We also love theatre of all types.
And I do quite a bit of writing in my line of work.
Usually, I do fairly well, but sometimes, in my haste, Mrs. Malaprop will jump up and bite me, thereby causing embarassment.
My favorite author is Ernest Hemingway (we have a Hemingway room in our house), and he was constantly in search of the right word to create the perfect sentence.
My wife and I both have degrees in English (literature concentration), but I cherish literature more than she does.
We also love theatre of all types.
And I do quite a bit of writing in my line of work.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Albany, NY
Posts: 75
I can totally relate... I used to kind of look down on myself from a place above and be like.... woah.... I'm really having difficulty experiencing this situation. Will it last forever.
I found that with time and brain recovery... I do believe that our brains take a good long while to heal after all the abuse- make having conversations easier.
I have better recall of words and am less anxious now.
Also - trying to stop caring so much what people think of me has helped.
What other people think of you is none of your business... that one helped a lot.
Don't give up.... I believe that clarity will come to us all....
I found that with time and brain recovery... I do believe that our brains take a good long while to heal after all the abuse- make having conversations easier.
I have better recall of words and am less anxious now.
Also - trying to stop caring so much what people think of me has helped.
What other people think of you is none of your business... that one helped a lot.
Don't give up.... I believe that clarity will come to us all....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Rivenin 
this might be odd, but i'm sure i'm not alone.
When I was drinking, not while drinking specifically, but in general, in my era of drinking, i was way more confident and could hold conversations way easier, small talk was no big thing, making friends was relatively easy. holding a conversation with someone at a bookstore, coffeeshop, anywhere was easier.
However, after i quit drinking, i'm constantly fumbling over my words, not sure what to say next... usually when i say something to try and hold a conversation with someone i can feel a small comic type thought bubble come up and just say "what the hell was that?" "what did you just say?" and i can feel the person i'm talking to kind of do the same thing.
it's just an odd feeling for sure... i was expecting it early in my sobriety, but it's still ever so present and is making it so difficult to talk to even people i've known for years and years.
Note : it's been about 11.5 months.
Did anyone else notice this type of behavior change? any tips on how to get over this? anything i can read to help? any small talk tips?
When I was drinking, not while drinking specifically, but in general, in my era of drinking, i was way more confident and could hold conversations way easier, small talk was no big thing, making friends was relatively easy. holding a conversation with someone at a bookstore, coffeeshop, anywhere was easier.
However, after i quit drinking, i'm constantly fumbling over my words, not sure what to say next... usually when i say something to try and hold a conversation with someone i can feel a small comic type thought bubble come up and just say "what the hell was that?" "what did you just say?" and i can feel the person i'm talking to kind of do the same thing.
it's just an odd feeling for sure... i was expecting it early in my sobriety, but it's still ever so present and is making it so difficult to talk to even people i've known for years and years.
Note : it's been about 11.5 months.
Did anyone else notice this type of behavior change? any tips on how to get over this? anything i can read to help? any small talk tips?
I found it best to keep things neutral. Stay away from anything controversial.
I went to two work functions recently. One I just talked about work and the second I talked sports with a fellow.
It wasn't a great time but it wasn't unpleasant either. I left before the others who decided to stay and carry on with their drinking. This worked well for me.
I wasn't drinking and didn't **** anyone off and I left before the others got too drunk and thus avoided potential problems.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
It's funny, drinking heavily is one thing that destroys my ability to converse well with others. It makes me depressed, lacking in confidence and I look so much like **** (flabby, boated, horrible red blotchy skin etc) that it kills my confidence even more. I also find myself talking about drinking way more than anyone else around me (most likely as I have been coming to terms with the problem for the last year) that, frankly, it makes me look weird and like I have nothing else in my life. Professionally, how can people take me seriously?
So that is the one thing I am looking forward to when stopping. Regaining my confidence, equilibrium and the debilitating "heaviness" lifting. So I think it can work both ways.
I can definitely sympathise with those on the thread that view it differently. I would have said the same before my drinking got out of control. But I think back to what I was like in my late teens before I started boozing. A million times happier and better able to socialise. Wish I had never started but back then it would have been tough to get good momentum with friendships as in Ireland where I grew up it was ALL about boozing. Now that I'm older and it's not anymore I hope to be able to continue my existing good relationships and that the elapsing of time will mean I can rekindle some old ones. Including those with my parents, brother and former good friends that I have not necessarily alienated but who are just on a different plane these days with young families, responsibilities and what not. It's easier to be self absorbed when you're only responsibility is to yourself (which mine is currently).
So that is the one thing I am looking forward to when stopping. Regaining my confidence, equilibrium and the debilitating "heaviness" lifting. So I think it can work both ways.
I can definitely sympathise with those on the thread that view it differently. I would have said the same before my drinking got out of control. But I think back to what I was like in my late teens before I started boozing. A million times happier and better able to socialise. Wish I had never started but back then it would have been tough to get good momentum with friendships as in Ireland where I grew up it was ALL about boozing. Now that I'm older and it's not anymore I hope to be able to continue my existing good relationships and that the elapsing of time will mean I can rekindle some old ones. Including those with my parents, brother and former good friends that I have not necessarily alienated but who are just on a different plane these days with young families, responsibilities and what not. It's easier to be self absorbed when you're only responsibility is to yourself (which mine is currently).
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