Lost Another One
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
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Lost Another One
Not really sure where or how to post this, an old friend of mine from the art school days, my age, died from complications of alcoholism a couple of weeks ago. His memorial service was today. It was out of state so it was easy to not go and I didn't. I'm not really sure how I feel about that.
We made a lot of art and drank a lot of beer together "back in the day". I moved out of state and eventually got married, bought a house, started a family, quit alcohol and drugs. He kept printing fine art, stayed single, moving from studio to studio eventually the street, switched to vodka and died from it. He was a great guy and left behind friends literally all over the planet.
He's not the first close friend that I've lost to alcohol since I quit and I certainly didn't see him very often over the last few years but it really got into my head. I never had any illusions that dying from drinking was a glamorous way to go but the idea of my friend lying in a hospital bed knowing that his time was up just feels so...sad.
We made a lot of art and drank a lot of beer together "back in the day". I moved out of state and eventually got married, bought a house, started a family, quit alcohol and drugs. He kept printing fine art, stayed single, moving from studio to studio eventually the street, switched to vodka and died from it. He was a great guy and left behind friends literally all over the planet.
He's not the first close friend that I've lost to alcohol since I quit and I certainly didn't see him very often over the last few years but it really got into my head. I never had any illusions that dying from drinking was a glamorous way to go but the idea of my friend lying in a hospital bed knowing that his time was up just feels so...sad.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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I'm sorry you lost your friend, gaffo.
Unfortunately, this problem does not always stay dormant and some of us die from it. Its an awful yet very real truth, and any one of us who believes we have more time to drink really doesn't actually know that for sure. Alcoholic drinking can take any of us at any time.
Unfortunately, this problem does not always stay dormant and some of us die from it. Its an awful yet very real truth, and any one of us who believes we have more time to drink really doesn't actually know that for sure. Alcoholic drinking can take any of us at any time.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
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Well for me it was a bit different at least in one case. One of my high school accomplices died in his early 40s from alcohol and drug abuse. He ODed two days out of a rehab facility. One of many facilities that he had visited over the years at his family's expense. While I sometimes miss him I realize his irresponsible behavior was a constant living nightmare for his parents. Since he seemed totally driven to continue his drinking and drugging I think the world is better off w/o him.
Of course the preferred outcome would have been sobriety but that didn't happen.
Of course the preferred outcome would have been sobriety but that didn't happen.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Yeah, it's horrible to see people we care about die from this. Especially when we know that people do get better and recover.
Lots both my best friends growing up in their early 30's. One I know was from heroin. The other, his family wouldn't say . . . but I suspect.
Haven't been going to AA for a real long time yet, but in the time I've been there already have seen people go out and die from this. It really hits home how this is a deadly disease, and we were fooling ourselves when we thought we would get sober, one day.
Always that one day. It's just right around the corner. I still have time.
Being in AA I know I don't have the luxury of viewing this addiction that way anymore.
Lots both my best friends growing up in their early 30's. One I know was from heroin. The other, his family wouldn't say . . . but I suspect.
Haven't been going to AA for a real long time yet, but in the time I've been there already have seen people go out and die from this. It really hits home how this is a deadly disease, and we were fooling ourselves when we thought we would get sober, one day.
Always that one day. It's just right around the corner. I still have time.
Being in AA I know I don't have the luxury of viewing this addiction that way anymore.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Originally Posted by AAPJ 
While I sometimes miss him I realize his irresponsible behavior was a constant living nightmare for his parents. Since he seemed totally driven to continue his drinking and drugging I think the world is better off w/o him.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Originally Posted by Sohard
I think that is a horribly disgusting thing to say. I hope I never become as cold as you. Clearly, rehab didn't work for your "friend". Just like chemo doesn't work for all cancer patients. It is not for me - or you - to judge his place in the world. I don't think you were much of a friend to him at all or you wouldn't speak of him this way now. That sickens me.
I told my husband that if I didn't get sober, I wanted him out. I'd leave him, and I wouldn't leave for me, I would leave for him.
No one should ever be in a position where they feel they have to stick around for an active alcoholic.
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