Talkinandwalkin

For the life of me I do not know why I do stuff like this. Yesterday everything about the planet Earth was not to my standards and I completely flipped out. I insulted my wife who spent the rest of the evening crying. I insulted a family member, who is living with us, and is now moving out. To top it all off my elementary age child saw the entire thing. What got me started was people in my family have been acting like individuals and not being a cohesive family. When we were getting ready to eat dinner everyone was in separate areas of the home and I completely lost it! So I basically wanted everyone to come together and now everyone is farther apart. I wanted to help a family member down on their luck and they are now trying to get as far away from me as possible. If you have ever seen the movie Raging Bull. I am Jake Lamotta. Or Michael Corleone in Godfather 2.

fini

well no, you're not one of those other people.
you are you and really the one doing this.
when i found myself overreacting and behaving in total disproportion to what was actually going on i understood that how i had been sober wasn't sufficient.
sounds like you're in that spot.
good you can see that your intentions and your actions didn't mesh.

are you just venting? looking for suggestions?
what are your ideas for what to do about this in the longer run, in addition to whatever you might do to try and lessen the immediate chaos?

Talkinandwalkin

Thanks I appreciate the reality. Sometimes it just helps to get it out.

entropy1964

Been there, felt like that. There are times when it feels like nothing will do what I want it to. Oh, that's all the time! The only thing I can do is accept that I actually have no control over anything, or anyone. WTF? When I remember that, everyday, things usually work out ok. Why? Because I have very limited expectations. Sometimes I forget, however, and I'm all *issed off before I even realize what's happening.

I own it, apologize to those I've hurt, and reset my intentions. My reactions are all I own. I try to remind myself everyday, pause when agitated. Words for me to live by

ScottFromWI

This. Honesty and taking personal responsibility for your actions are the best medicine moving forward.

Also consider seeking help for your anger/control issues..which it sounds like you might have. Meditation/Mindfulness is a concept you might want to explore, or possibly even seeing a therapist/counselor.

Doug39

Welcome to my life.

I live with my wife and our 21 year old daughter. My wife is an active alcoholic that drinks everyday.

I spend a short time with my wife after she gets home from work but as soon as her buzz kicks in and I start getting annoyed I leave the room. Our daughter won't even talk to my wife when she is drinking and stays upstairs in her room.

So as long as my wife keeps drinking the 3 of us will continue to live together, apart.

I just got a job working the evening shift to get away from my wife. She can work all day and drink all night while I go to AA during the day and work at night.

NYCDoglvr

Ditto what Scott said: we take responsibility for our words and actions and apologize when wrong.