Dropsie

We can all learn a lesson from you.

Thanks.

icoi87

Thank you for sharing this! I agree that we need to take care of ourselves and protect our sobriety at all costs. I am at 90 days and my life is basically work, AA and sleep. I miss out on a lot but I’m so grateful for my sobriety, I wouldn’t trade it for any get together. Congrats on 2.5 years!

Stronger2017

You nailed it🙏 I have to remember this.

FBL

Bunny, hope you're feeling better today.

You've been a HUGE inspiration to me and many others here at SR.

You're a very special person, don't EVER forget it!

calvinm16

Bunny I agree with your choice. If you're feeling uncomfortable about it then definitely don't go. I throw myself into these situations constantly in my last few months sober and play it like a game. I know all it would take is me to say F it and grab a cold beer and guzzle it down and join the party. But somehow I resist.

It's a dangerous game putting ourselves in easy access and if you're feeling uncomfortable with it, follow your gut!

Congratulations on 2.5 years, hoping I can make it that long. Therapy doesn't work for me so my next stop is the psychiatrist. I've been manic and depressed lately, very bipolar and today I feel like someone drained my brain and placed me outside of my body. LOL

Have a good one!!

Bunny211

Wow I teared up a bit. Thank you.

Xoxoxo

Delizadee

I agree. I've always kept an eye out for you, I've followed your story and you are truly an inspiration to me too. . Always rooting for you! You've come so far, I think you deserve some love and peace and lots of hugs.

SoberCAH

Your decision exemplifies the choices that we make daily in recovery which involve life and death matters.

We don't get the luxury of taking a day off from recovery.

Most importantly, you made a huge sacrifice in the continued pursuit of your recovery.

And you still have it.

The immeasurable benefits of sobriety (the Promises, the ability to wake up in the morning and be a real part of the human race, etc.) completely dwarf any sacrifices I have made in recovery to preserve my sobriety.

Everyone needs to read this thread before deciding what to do about his or her own social (or other) engagement which will involve exposure to heavy drinking.

We tend to have more of these circumstances confront us this time of year.

Congrats on a healthy (and wise) decision and on your sobriety.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch.

I hope that you get it in the rear view mirror in short order.

Fusion

Bunny, I’ve followed your story since I joined SR, and your sobriety far exceeds that date. But what I don’t fully understand and please enlighten me if you will, is why you’re afraid of alcohol, that inert substance in bottles at events.

You’re far more powerful than that inert substance, it can’t raise itself up to your lips and force you to drink it. I understand why people need to avoid alcohol and places its served in the early days, whilst they build up their sober muscles, I fully understand that. But you’ve been sober for a quite a while and I wonder whether you need more support than your current support group is providing you, and I say that without judgement and only love and hugs.

FBL

Bunny, hope you're feeling better today. I've struggled with self-esteem issues my whole life. I'm sure it was a huge factor in my drinking. I've found that daily gratitude and reaching out to others has helped me tremendously. Stay focused on your recovery and you'll be fine.

Bunny211

Hi Tatsy, Thank you! It is not that I was afraid I would drink. Not really. It is that my self esteem on that day was so low that I felt that being around alcohol, and "normies" would make me feel so resentful and then so angry at myself (self loathing again) and I would start on a pity party and just cause misery and despair to fester in my head. However, the ultimate "end product" of being in a constant state of misery, turmoil, resentment, self loathing and hopelessness could potentially lead me to a drink...if my head tells me for a long enough time that life is hopeless, meaningless and not going to get any better. It was a case of having a bad day and not wanting to get the circus in my head amped up anymore than it already was. XOXOXOX grateful for your support.

-Bunny

zjw

2.5 years is awesome!

yeah those kinds of parties i always hated anyhow so there easy for me to say no too being a recovered alcholic just makes it even easier to say no to them.

Gotta do whats right for you.

I like to think of my alcoholism as a food allergy of sorts. I simply just have to avoid certain stuff is all. No reason to be upset or anything it just is what it is is all.

IE we dont sit around worried about drinking bleach why? cause wtf would we drink it. But we stress over possibly drinking booze? I someitmes try to put booze in the same place bleach is in my mind then its liek ugg wtf would i drink that?

Fusion

Bunny so glad to read your update, I’m sorry I misunderstood previously, I now realise you were displaying real strength and determination in not attending.

Oh my, the horrendous circus in the head....I read an article recently, on AA Agnostica, which was an accurate representation of the ‘committee/circus in the head’ from which I used to suffer. Here’s a link, maybe it will resonate with you in some way, as it did for me.

Committee/Circus in the Head

You’re doing great and showing real wisdom, Bunny, hugs, Xx.

stargazer016

Bunny, I had a similar situation with an annual big time party my company throws for management types every year. My company is full of big drinkers and there is unlimited free booze at these shindigs. I just opted not to attend one year at the last moment, making up an excuse of child care I believe. It was a decision I do not regret at all. Only we know how we are feeling. Like you, it's not so much that I thought I would drink, it was the building resentment of watching others.
I am back to going to these annual parties, but we stay for dinner and then make it a point to head out before people start getting too sloppy.

Always do what feels right and don't second guess yourself.

Pathwaytofree

Bunny thank you for an amazing post. This is beautiful. Keep up the great work!

August252015

Great, sound, sober thinking Bunny. I too have had some things like this- I just didn't feel right about going to something. And I can't say I have regretted that RSVP, even once!

Best to you.

SoberCAH

Our firm party is tonight.

My wife and i love it.

Everyone knows very well that i am in recovery and the drinking is fairly modest anyway.

My first firm party after getting out of treatment was extremely scary.

In hindsight, i may have been a little reckless in attending it.

Stayingsassy

My husband’s is tomorrow night. I’m not looking forward to it but I’m going to represent his other half. It’s a giant drunk fest...in fact, this year they are limiting the open bar to one hour before dinner then beer and wine during dinner, because there have been so many awful problems: vomiting, sexual harassment, rudeness and resentments, plus bar bills of huge excess: tens of thousands of dollars, etc. I scoff at their idea that these limits will stop people from getting trashed. It takes one to know one and there isn’t just one at his company, that’s for sure.

Husband has been informed he gets wifey at dinner, then wifey is out, and if he wants to stay at the madhouse he can Uber home. He never even drinks that much, he just likes a party.

stargazer016

Great planning Stayingsassy!