The good the bad the ugly
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Location: Canada
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The good the bad the ugly
3 weeks now... that is the good
the bad, had some smokes which really really really is a HUGE problem. Smoking depresses me, depresses my physical desires to exercise, keeps me indoors, subverts my desires to get shiz done.
the ugly - re read the above. gawd...
my AV is still scheming when it's going to drink next but somehow i continue to out smart it with a sammich or with some egg salad from the grocery store salad bar.
... i am also not very happy or feeling good about having to move from my apt in a great location in a bustling city to a tiny 700 sq foot house in a shizzy acid wash jeans mullet wearing bumpkin crap city ... not looking forward to the confrontation that will happen when i try to express my concerns over said 'real estate' deal.
the bad, had some smokes which really really really is a HUGE problem. Smoking depresses me, depresses my physical desires to exercise, keeps me indoors, subverts my desires to get shiz done.
the ugly - re read the above. gawd...
my AV is still scheming when it's going to drink next but somehow i continue to out smart it with a sammich or with some egg salad from the grocery store salad bar.
... i am also not very happy or feeling good about having to move from my apt in a great location in a bustling city to a tiny 700 sq foot house in a shizzy acid wash jeans mullet wearing bumpkin crap city ... not looking forward to the confrontation that will happen when i try to express my concerns over said 'real estate' deal.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 167
Today was a dark, moody day, drizzle, damp, clouds clouds clouds, and gusty fall winds, mini tornados that spun dead wet maple leaves past me. As a bald gentleman i chose the wrong day to wear a vented tilly hat.
Nevertheless i perservered on my walk to greet the river path quiet, windless, nestled in the trees. and the dog turds.
i called the city today to complain about the off leash dogs, after 10 years of putting up with people who think their dogs are angels, and it's other people that are the problem... so hopefully some upper class retired snobs will be getting $300 off leash tickets tomorrow along the idyllic river path. I may even put up signs saying that i called the city bylaw officer, and i'm going to call every day until it sinks in with you FKKers. I love dogs, but this ain't Kansas Dorothy put your dog on a leash.
quitting drinking combined with the cruddy feeling from smoking puts me in a great mood. as you can tell.
After my 3 mile walk I talked to a old friend about my financial predicament, he didn't think he was helpful but he was. At some point I just have to hand things over to a higher power and not worry otherwise I'll end up in the booze isle at the grocery store. which is a new thing where i live, kinda dangerous for the implusive drunk in many of us including me. but not today.
today i also remembered an old expression that helped me a great deal many years ago, someone taught me to say
'maybe i will drink tomorrow, but not today'
a way of bargaining with the AV in a calm controlled manner, defuse it, let it know to be quiet while secretly starving it to death slowly day by day. and then i didn't remember when i stopped saying it to myself, it was just routine to not drink or smoke, the routine was the gym, jogging at the park, freelance work, a bit of skiing. a bit of cycling.
that was a good routine. gone is the work.
( ok i just found out more about RR that i didn't know, what i didn't know and will have to come up with the "Big Plan" )
well kids nothing is going to change if I'm sleeping on the couch with depression and a hangover will it? so tomorrow it's more park walking and job hunting for me.
Nevertheless i perservered on my walk to greet the river path quiet, windless, nestled in the trees. and the dog turds.
i called the city today to complain about the off leash dogs, after 10 years of putting up with people who think their dogs are angels, and it's other people that are the problem... so hopefully some upper class retired snobs will be getting $300 off leash tickets tomorrow along the idyllic river path. I may even put up signs saying that i called the city bylaw officer, and i'm going to call every day until it sinks in with you FKKers. I love dogs, but this ain't Kansas Dorothy put your dog on a leash.
quitting drinking combined with the cruddy feeling from smoking puts me in a great mood. as you can tell.
After my 3 mile walk I talked to a old friend about my financial predicament, he didn't think he was helpful but he was. At some point I just have to hand things over to a higher power and not worry otherwise I'll end up in the booze isle at the grocery store. which is a new thing where i live, kinda dangerous for the implusive drunk in many of us including me. but not today.
today i also remembered an old expression that helped me a great deal many years ago, someone taught me to say
'maybe i will drink tomorrow, but not today'
a way of bargaining with the AV in a calm controlled manner, defuse it, let it know to be quiet while secretly starving it to death slowly day by day. and then i didn't remember when i stopped saying it to myself, it was just routine to not drink or smoke, the routine was the gym, jogging at the park, freelance work, a bit of skiing. a bit of cycling.
that was a good routine. gone is the work.
( ok i just found out more about RR that i didn't know, what i didn't know and will have to come up with the "Big Plan" )
well kids nothing is going to change if I'm sleeping on the couch with depression and a hangover will it? so tomorrow it's more park walking and job hunting for me.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 167
This smoking thing is really dragging me down. The sun is out today and instead of eating right and walking I'm stuck in front of the computer, standing, drinking coffee and chain smoking. Thinking about sovling problems instead of taking action, kind of an OCD pattern me thinks, I'm in need of a new routine but my subconsious and my AV is winning.
Maybe I'm just addicted to feeling shizty and i enjoy that familiar feeling of anxiety and being stuck and daydreaming of possibilities instead of actually participating in my own life.
addicted to self sabotage when others are not present in my life to do it for me.
The sun is out and I'm going for a walk in the park, period consider it done.
fwaaaak!!! this has got to change.
still no plans to drink.
Maybe I'm just addicted to feeling shizty and i enjoy that familiar feeling of anxiety and being stuck and daydreaming of possibilities instead of actually participating in my own life.
addicted to self sabotage when others are not present in my life to do it for me.
The sun is out and I'm going for a walk in the park, period consider it done.
fwaaaak!!! this has got to change.
still no plans to drink.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Posts: 167
Originally Posted by Tatsy 
Bob, do you have a 4x4?
i HAD a pathfinder for 16 years but now just a crap station wagon, aka chevy chase in Xmas Vacation that is me. but i wouldn't mind an old Dodge Power Wagon W200 like the one that was chasing down Chevy Chase on that Vermont highway. That truck would scare the crap outta these city folk in their mercedes and audis... i would be fearless in that beast.
http://www.2040cars.com/_content/car...391948/004.jpg
http://www.imcdb.org/i028854.jpg
https://pics.imcdb.org/0is269/christ...odge3.1554.jpg
WTF gives ? no image posting ??? the images show up in preview mode.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Back in the day, maybe late 1970s, there was a fad where people discovered they could take a plain T-shirt and iron on their own letters which was very cool back in the day when people wore velour sweaters. LOL.
Anywho some GENIUS discovered they could do the same for baseball caps, and one day in my hometown country-bumpkinville at a flea market i spotted a guy who designed his own t-shirt and hat and wore it proudly like a badge, above the rim it said
Bob
4x4
and my tweenage brain said, you must be bob, you must have a 4x4. pure genius. why can't we all communicate such depth of humanity so easily? followed by some blasphemous thought.
today it's funny, fun, absurd, and NOBODY today would wear such a thing and believe me I've been looking for similar candidates. And Bob4x4 is better than creating a member name like "alwayshungover", "I'll never get laid again" or "bellybuttonlint"
did i mention i was a bit of an A-hole?
still have time to get the Electro shock treatment this weekend, maybe it will cure me of sarcasm.
... bizzzzztttt
...... bizzzzttt ...... bizzzzttt
Anywho some GENIUS discovered they could do the same for baseball caps, and one day in my hometown country-bumpkinville at a flea market i spotted a guy who designed his own t-shirt and hat and wore it proudly like a badge, above the rim it said
Bob
4x4
and my tweenage brain said, you must be bob, you must have a 4x4. pure genius. why can't we all communicate such depth of humanity so easily? followed by some blasphemous thought.
today it's funny, fun, absurd, and NOBODY today would wear such a thing and believe me I've been looking for similar candidates. And Bob4x4 is better than creating a member name like "alwayshungover", "I'll never get laid again" or "bellybuttonlint"
did i mention i was a bit of an A-hole?
still have time to get the Electro shock treatment this weekend, maybe it will cure me of sarcasm.
... bizzzzztttt
...... bizzzzttt ...... bizzzzttt Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by Bob4x4
Bob
4x4
and my tweenage brain said, you must be bob, you must have a 4x4. pure genius. why can't we all communicate such depth of humanity so easily? followed by some blasphemous thought.
4x4
and my tweenage brain said, you must be bob, you must have a 4x4. pure genius. why can't we all communicate such depth of humanity so easily? followed by some blasphemous thought.
The powder-blue Dodge Power Wagon is awesome, I'd sure appreciate one of those for towing.
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