shadower4

i got drunk for the first time at like 20, when i ncollege i became an alcoholic, id drink every single night and show up to class at 8 am smelling like alcohol i did not know it was coming from my pours at the time but now i know after hearing it from so many people, even a boss at one point asked me did i drink last night. I over heard at another job my co workers saying does he smell like boos? yeah he has come in a few times smelling like beer, it's best to stay away from him. This hurt me because everyone on my shift thinks i'm the nicest manager there is and loves me. anyhow i can hide the bottles but not the smell. I used to drink half a handle of vodka, i moved on to everclear 190 proof. I now realize i also had alcohol withdraw throughout college always feeling heavy anxiety. I sort of stopped when i got a full time job i thought was my life career and met my now girlfriend, but i left that job and she just started school, she knows i drink a lot i feel like i cant control myself.... it's like the 5th day in the past 7 i drank and i day drink too. She gets so mad with me..i'll sum this up so i don't write a book. i'm seeing my girl again tomorrow and i'm going to smell like alcohol even if i stop now, i'm afraid of losing her to this. i felt like today being unemployed, even though i just got a job confirmation and will start soon, just sitting around i have nothing to do, in my head it was either lay in this bed all day or go to the liquer store

Dee74

Hi shadower

You posted in our Family and Friends forum. I though your post might be more appropriate here?

Sounds like you know you're gonna crash and burn pretty soon unless you do something?

What do you feel about AA or some other meeting based group? Rehab?

D

least

If those are the only two choices you have, you'd better make some changes in your life. There's lots more to do other than drink or lay in bed.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good so you can see how much better life can be sober.

BeachPlease

Please try to get some help for yourself.

ssd858

Welcome Shadower4. How are you today? You do have options!

zjw

yeah lay in bed or hit the liquor store? go for a walk or somthing. sitting around in this kinda state is just asking to have a drink. Idle hands are the devils playground especialy in the early days of quiting. Try to do something different to snap out of your funk.

Berrybean

Welcome back.

Well, it sounds like nothing changed since you arrived here just over a year ago. And nothing changes if nothing changes. You sound like you want change - but are you willing to take steps to make change come about??

Why not check out some local AA meetings and start getting some support - if you are honestly looking to tackle the problem of your drinking. (if, on the other hand, you just want the consequences of your drinking to disappear then that's not likely to happen.

I hope you decide to tackle the root problem - i.e. Your drinking. You deserve better.

BB

D122y

If those are your only options...lay in bed.

Imo...

Suffering through the detox is what stops folks initially...some need meds.

Then dealing w the brain damage. Booze fries our brain. Makes us insane eventually.

It is highly addictive, as you know.

For me...it was horrible suffering to get to this state of grace. The worst anxiety i have ever experienced in my life.

Many get meds to cope. That takes a level of discipline obviously.

I vote...hydrate, eat something when you crave, and be ready for some hell on earth.

Working out gets me out of my head because the physical pain overides the anxiety....For me.

Thanks

Dee74

hows it going shadower?

D

SoberCAH

We're glad you're here with us.

If sobriety wasn't better than chronic alcoholism, we wouldn't be here ourselves.

There is a solution to the alcoholic dilemma.

For me that solution has been AA.

I never grew up wanting to be a member of AA, but now I don't ever want to not be a member.

I suggest you consider getting professional help for your drinking, especially for the detox component since you have been drinking so much.

I certainly needed all the help I could get.