BullDog777

Well, the night owl is back. Last night i only slept for an hour and it's looking like i'm gonna get less than 3 tonight since i have to be up at 6am.

My mind is running a 100 mile sprint and i'm barely able to manage a jog right now.

I know why. It's just normal life stuff. My 6th grade daughter wants to start wearing make-up and she likes a boy and I'm still giving school rides to half my damn neighborhood since i'm semi-retired. Nobody seems to value my time.

I'm having a hard time adjusting to middle school. Earlier days, shorter days, last weeks kidney stones...my wife's sprained knee. I wanna start painting again, but i feel like i don't have enough time because i feel like i'm being pulled in 10 different directions....blah blah blah......such is life.

An then i feel like an a$$ for even mentioning it. I have friends that lost their homes this week in Florida. A close friend who went from stage 3 to 4 breast cancer who is a single mom...I'm REALLY REALLY blessed to be able to whine about this.

I still obsess over ankle biting bulls#it that normal people seem to be fine with.

I guess i just have to let this run it's course. This too shall pass.

I printed a post that Scott wrote to me here the other week and put it on my drafting table to help me keep s#it in the proper perspective.

"Some days all we can do is stay sober BD-doesn't have to always be graceful."

Amen to that.

Thanks for listening. I hope everyone has a sober day.

JudicatorPanzer

Having insomnia today myself. Thank you for your grateful attitude it inspires me. I kinda feel like crap and have to go to work in an hour; but hey I'm sober, have a job I like, and it's my Friday.

I take this over the counter stuff called melatonin. It is not a drug, and it is helpful to fall asleep, I have trouble staying asleep though.

It sounds like you got some tough stuff going on though all in all. Keep up the grateful attitude and as you said this too shall pass.

ScottFromWI

I hear ya. Mine was really bad for months and lingered into years after quitting and I still get it from time to time. Mine is directly linked to my anxiety and sometimes inability to "let go" of things too.

leanabeana

Sorry to hear bulldog. I have no advice as someone who relies on Ambien to sleep. In my case, the insomnia is so bad that sometimes even Ambien doesn't work. When this happens, I do guided meditation or hypnosis on my phone and it seems to help.

PhoenixJ

aaaaand of course insomnia ramps up the irritation. I get that. I am an advocate of the nana nap. No always possible. Lots of water seems to help me with the irritability...[perhaps be-c of all the time I spend walking to the loo.

SnazzyDresser

I hear ya, Bulldog. It really does. I've been fighting the War on Insomnia off and on my whole life, at least it seems that way. Inexplicably mine has gotten better in the last month or so, can't really think of anything different I'm doing but I'll take it. It almost seems like when I just give up on the idea of semi-normal sleep, it comes back around. Like it's playing hard to get!

BullDog777

It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my struggle with insomnia. I had to stay busy today though or I was gonna go nuts. The day seems to go quicker that way.

I had this big "honey do" list and the longer I looked at it the less I wanted to do any of it.

F%ck it man.

So I ended up working on a couple of my drag cars today and then made the giant mistake of having a huge sub for lunch. This thing was a double hander and then i had a bag of jalapeno chips with it.

Instant food coma.

S#it.

I had the good sense to see it coming and set the alarm on my phone for 1:30 so I'd be on time to get the kids from school today. Go me. HAHAHAHA

So much for productive.

Now, the damn dog is driving me nuts so I handed her off to my daughter and went into the cave and just turned on intervention. I love that show. Every week I get to see what I'm missing if I go back. Honestly...I don't know where I got the energy to chase the insanity for as long as I did.

I gotta put a bunch of stuff in storage tomorrow and then maybe I'll try to sit down and plan a painting. I really should do that. It used to be so automatic and now it's so much work.

That's 's how I feel about normal life some days. It used to be so automatic before all the drugs and booze killed off so much of my soul. Now it's work to stay just above whatever the hell normal is.

Well, the girls just gave me notice that they wanna go for ice cream so i guess I'll go too. It's nice to be included again and them actually want me there. I guess it makes it all worth it.

I'll be back after 2am i'm sure. tyou