try2again

what is it about day 6 of not drinking & I always blow it? at least this is how it's been going awhile so my liver gets a little break

for months in my head I've known I need to get it together & stop because I need asthma meds that I stretch until I can't - so 9/5 I have got to go to the dr. i'm just going to have to face the state of my health - I have avoided a blood test for years - got Advair from my sister she gave me because she didn't use it. not to mention he hasn't seen me at this high weight...full of dread & embarrassment & fear

I know it's always what's you plan/go to a meeting

ScottFromWI

Make this the day 6 that turns into a day 7. It's just another day - you can choose to spend time here, go to a meeting, read a book, cook some food, etc. Coming here was a great idea by the way - how about joining the weekender thread over in newcomers this weekend?

nodl5

You are not alone. I've been a hard drinker for 36 years. I've managed a few stretches on the water wagon, but not many.

This last 6 month bender almost did me in. Been a couple of days now and am eating again. First day was unreal. I still have tingling fingers, am uneasy, and need some rest.

By far this was the furthest I've ever been. It could be that I am just getting older. I've managed successes in other recreational areas, but booze is by far the hardest.

Thanks for posting.

tomsteve

so, what IS your plan?
do you WANT to stop drinking?
are you WILLING to go to ANY lengths to stop drinking?

try2again

unfortunately this day six turned out as they all do - drinking.

now it's harder now - my husband lost his job because the facility he had worked at for 30+ years closed - so thankfully he has a pension, yet now he has taken up drinking & asks me who has cheap liquor? I don't answer & I see his escalating & think he's just tried to ignore mine these years. not to mention he has a friend he can get medical grade pot from & doing that. I can't do that because, asthma.

try2again

& he's diabetic - alcohol probably isn't great for that

yeah, shouldn't be projecting on him - but it's extra stress all around

try2again

pedal to the metal on a downhill slide

Gottalife

Hi Nodl5,

Your physical symptoms remind me of me when I got sober. Malnutrition was part of the picture for me.

But the other thing that you might want to think about is treating alcoholism as a recreational problem. Really? Having too much fun?

Alcoholism is a progressive, terminal illness where the alcoholic is unable to stop or control his drinking even though it is killing him ( or her). There is nothing recreational about it. It is more about ever increasing misery as the alcoholic tried to recapture the earlier effects of alcohol, the sense of ease and comfort that used to come after a few drinks.

Few people recover on their own once it has progressed this far. Outside help, a huge change of attitude, and a lot of work, not to mention a miracle, is required to overcome alcohol once the power of choice has been lost. Beware, people who have not lost the power of choice will tell you that it is simply a matter of choice. I wish that were true and I have seen many die trying to prove it.

As one who lost the power of choice in alcohol and never got it back, I understand what that is like and I also know there is a solution that works if we go about it with one half the zeal we were in the habit of showing when getting another drink.

First we have to be truly done with drinking.

nodl5

Gottalife,

I should not have used the term recreational. It's the platform, I did not want to say hard drugs. Getting off Alcohol, Opiates or cocaine are not equivocal to stopping the time at the pool.

I've been clean from Pot for so long now, I can't remember, 13 years maybe. Coke for 8 years, opiates were pretty tough but that took from 2014 till last February and was probably the hardest thing I have done compared to good old legal Booze. Quit smoking for 2 years 3 years ago, picked up and put back down and now fine from that it appears. I mean you know this disease, I could use all these in the next hour.

I do have a real problem with an online forum like this, but when one is weak and is having a hard time, it's available.

I've been to AA and NA since 1986, been two weeks from a blue chip but started drinking around Christmas. I've been in and out of treatment several times. So I am not foreign to the hard critical line that you have. People die from this and it is not a joke. I've had many close friends die.

You could have asked me what I meant by recreational, but I don't expect you to be a mind reader, and you acted just like the people I see in here and at meetings. You have it all figured out.

BTW, I walked past a half gallon yesterday, but that's not important here, since no one really cares, they like being tough. I could be interpreted as being that way now, I'm just saying. I should have never posted. Since no one talks, they just assume. They don't try and make a connection.,
Good luck in your sobriety.

nodl5

Hey try2again,

We fall off the horse then we get back up. I do appreciate your post though. You reached out, but what's the internet right? I also appreciate your honesty.

The hardest thing for me is my family, it would be different if I had just using buddies, which i did, but most of them are dead or don't leave their houses.

But it really is hard for me to escape my family, who consume a lot. O' well I will do the best I can today and check back in maybe, I always get some blow hard telling me about the struggle. LOL!

Stay good and IM me if you like.

Nodl5 out

Dee74

Hi try2again

I'm sorry for all the stressy things in your life - but doesn't drinking make it worse?

at the very least it leaves you less able to handle the stress, and more susceptible to emotions like shame and guilt - which in turn grind you down, make you despair and hate yourself and make it 'easier' to make the decision to drink again.

To break the cycle I think you need to do something different. There have been a few ideas here. Got any ideas of your own?

D

treeguy24

I can relate to you because for a while I was an everyday drinker. Then I started tapering down so I would be able to stop completely. Then once I got myself down to 1-2 I sort of took a few days off here and there, then I would drink (typically anywhere's from 4-6 maybe more), then take a few days off. At first it was 2-3 days in between drinking sessions, then gradually it because 5-6, at one point I made it to day 7 or 8, and then of course caved. This went on for a while and now I am on day 27 and I feel great. At one point I had said to myself the thought of going one week without drinking seems laughable. But now I am at almost one month and the thought of setting myself back at day one seems laughable.

Not to make your thread about myself, but what I am trying to get you to see is only through shear determination and mental strength will you break this cycle. You have to have a reason for why you want to get / stay sober otherwise you won't. For me it's the prospect of chasing after a new career and fitness. Getting sober for the sake of getting sober usually isn't enough. You need some source of motivation so that when the cravings hit, you can fall back on that motivation and use it to stay sober and avoid giving in to the cravings.