SteelRes211

Well made it through the 4th of July unscathed except for a few eye rolls for not drinking from the self appointed party police. Enter my wino sister in law (two bottles of wine no problem) who used to be my partner in drinking during family events, gave me the cold shoulder all night when she realized I was not drinking. Granted, I did not announce that I was getting sober to anyone except my wife. As the evening progressed the drunks were getting more and pushy to the point that I would walk away to avoid them and hope in due time they would pass out, go home and leave me alone. I took all of this in stride the past few days with the party pushers but also reflected on how bad some drunks act, how verbally incoherent they sound and how pathetic I was for being one of them for such a long time. I almost wanted to reach out and say to them "give it up before it gives you up" and leaves you with nothing but despair. In due time my family will figure it out about me, I was great at the old stick and move, just had two and covering my tracks all the time.

Anyway what kept me solid was the positive and constructive comments that I have read on many posts from a variety of people from all over the world with decades of sobriety. Sobriety is a fight for me everyday because alcohol is so prolific in our society, everywhere you turn is another booze ad, beer ad, new micro brew and miles of beer filled coolers in the stores. I'm glad I made this choice for myself to fix it once and for all. It will be three months for me this coming Friday and not looking back.

ScottFromWI

That's a great story and congrats for making it through that situation. I agree that it looks quite different through sober eyes.

RecklessEric

Booze pushers can't force you to take one though. And you didn't.
Go you!

But you can't hold it against them, especially since you haven't told them you've quit.

Stellar45

Some of these alcoholics have got to be taken aback seeing a former drinker pass up drinking on such an occasion. It has to make these people look at their own drinking patterns and question whether or not they have a problem with the booze or whether their drinking is acceptable to others. Great job. 90 days will be here before you know it.

Jules714

Hey...you just provided a positive constructive post that will help keep me solid! Thanks!!
Congrats on 3 months. Good job on not caving. I don't trust myself in those situations as of yet. Unsure I ever will. Very hopeful.
Jules

NulaMeansZero

There just jealous and you know what , Make them jealous too!

Quit booze - check
Get healthy-check
Look and feel great - double check

What's to hate there?

Not you , but the fact that you did it! Your healthy now most of all and you transformed in the most amazing way

Who knows maybe they'll turn around and you can help them later

Congrats !!

Dave42001

Hey Steel,

Congrats on your 90 days coming up very soon!!

That's a tough scenario any way you look at it. I understand the family deal on a holiday but dealing with that BS would have taken me to the edge. Drink pushers and the rolling eyes, wow.. this to me is like the negitive view.

One the other hand you have the positive "solution" view. Watching this insanity over a 3-4 hour period observing what / how inebriated people act is sad, obnoxious and really not much fun.. when I got in these situations and saw all the insanity I thought to myself, man I don't want to be that person any more.. and I'm so blessed I'm not that guy anymore!!

You're growing Steel, in a good way!! Keep it up! Thanks for sharing!!

MariahGayle

Nice going Steel & congratulations on 90 days!

MachinistGuy

Sounds like a nightmare. Congratulations on coping with it.

Mtphc

I know this feeling as well, last family party I went to I felt the same exact way. My in-laws are so used to me drinking, and on this last occasion it's like they were surprised I wasn't drinking booze, but you know want it felt so good not to, and didn't have any desire, but yeah it does feel kind of awkward especially with my wife's sister's husband he was the one that gave me the weird look. And I told myself you know what you don't have to drink to have a good time, was actually having a great time sober having great food and being more social in general versus getting drunk and just talking to a select few that were imbibing alcohol.

SteelRes211

I had a great time too not drinking at these past parties and the best was waking up feeling fresh the next day. Generally the next morning after one of these parties I would be hitting the fridge for a fix just to square up.

MrDavid

I have some in-laws who fall into that category. They refer to it as an important stage in their evolutionary process, a ‘rite of passage’ if you will, to do whatever they want to whomever they want and with no respect for anyone, period. And the Holidays are just another excuse to exasperate that long-standing tradition. How sad. I guess some people will never change.

Like I always say: "You might be new to recovery, but you're not new to the world". Traditions, like the one you've described above, have been in place for years, so it's nothing new to me. In fact, I’ve been in similar situations myself, numerous times I must say, not to mention the host of others who came before us. So we know how daunting it must feel. I’m just glad you did not take the bait. Nicely done.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I sadly announced I was getting sober to the whole ******* world via facebook... while drunk. And countless other times I can't even remember. While drunk...

One of my biggest regrets. I wish I would have just figured it out early on, gave up the booze, and never told anyone.

SoberCAH

Alcohol was ubiquitous in my family until my dad died and my mother went into an assisted living facility in 2012.

They drank every night, my dad rather creditably, but my mother, alcoholically.

When I got out of treatment, a fairly long time ago, I was very uncomfortable being around alcohol, particularly around friends (with whom I drank) and family (whose excessive drinking always bothered me).

But my parents couldn't have cared less.

They had their handlebar bottles of vodka and whiskey sitting out on display (for easy access) on a dumbwaiter and they poured (straight) whiskey drinks for hours on end with no thought or cares as to my circumstances.

When they would start their nightly drinking efforts, I would get up and tell them I needed to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and dismiss myself.

That hit rather close to home with them, but their drinking did with me.

My mother never got sober and her drinking didn't get me drunk.

She had her priorities and I had mine.

The result was that I didn't spend as much time with them as I would have if they weren't heavy drinkers.

I'm glad I made the choices I did.

Thanks, Steel, for sharing your story on the family drinking dramas we experience once we are clean and sober.