sweetr72

My common law just went into a recovery home 11 days ago, he is an alcoholic. I have always considered myself a social drinker or maybe a social drunk as I only get drunk if I drink. My AB always told me when he was drunk that I was an alcoholic too and that I needed help too. I never even let it cross my mind doubting that I was. I drank on weekends with my friends but only to get drunk. After watching my AB get drunk and rage I couldnt even stand the thought of drinking with him and we definetly couldnt go out or go friends houses as he acted so crazy it was embarrasing. My drinking became nil about 2 months ago but had really slowed down for the last 6 months. Just before he left and was drinking I hid a bottle of his rum from him in the closet. I bought a bottle of whiskey and keep it at my friends house and go over there once in a while and have enough to get a buzz and then go home. Tonight I cant get my mind off that bottle of rum in the closet and want a few drinks just to get a buzz and relax. I really want to get drunk but question how that makes me any better than him. He says now that hes sober that I dont have a problem he does and that was only said because he was drunk and that he dosent think Im an alcoholic. He also dosent know about the bottle of whiskey at my friends house and the urge to get that bottle of rum out of the closet. The thought isnt on my mind 24/7 but its there, I guess Im afraid to drink becuase I am questioning myself now? How do you know if you are an alcoholic or not? It sounds so silly to ask that question but I just dont know?

GettingSober

My wifes drinking does not increase, she has a glass of wine each nite unless she is hiding something. I on the other hand have always drank and drank and drank when I do drink and it became more often, very few times have I worked on our deck I am building sober. Anyway a good sign is if you begin to carve out time for drinking, more time, more drinks is a slippery slope. There are standard questions, you get one point for asking, more points if non-drunk people ask you to cut back, more points if you blackout etc.

sweetr72

Great things to think about GettingSober! My friends are drinkers too but im the one who like the party the hardyest so they are always telling me stories of "the night before" and have had to get me out of situations in the past, like taking the spark plugs out of my van cause i insist on driving somewhere? Or tellling ppl off that I care about, although I dont remember it that way the next day. I hurt alot of ppls feelings when I drink. I think Im just having fun but I guess its not that way at all. I dont drink too much anymore, not like I used to. I was drinking just about every day a few months ago and dont want to drink like that anymore as it was starting to affect my kids cause Im really emotional drunk I cry uncontrollably for no apparent reason. My behaviour was much worse with my AB because he was pretty crude and violent and that didnt mix with my drinking because I am so rude when I drink. Alot of broken things in our home this last year. My drinking was becoming very violent like my AB that was new to me. Thanks for your reply and my chatter. Just releasing all my feelings at once and I hope they make sense.

GettingSober

Well I would say quit while your ahead I used to be there and graduated to getting hammered nightly. I had a wild time last night I went to bed at 11:00 after doing some sidework for xmas mad money then I had wild dreams about 1920's capers with guns in cities, being chased etc. 3 year old woke me up a couple times and it was awesome falling asleep again. No benydryl, no melatonin no nothing - easy sleep. Easy peasy. I am up at 5:00 and feel great, wife had her wine and seems to have had no luck getting good sleep.

You sound like your headed directly into trouble with the law. I went off on a shopkeeper one night for not telling me the address so I could have a friend pick me up. Landed me in front of a judge, it just got worse from there. It could have to do with my both shoulders and knee were rebuilt. But there were bigger legal problems too.

I nearly lost it all and who knows I still could and for what? Something that makes your cry like a baby over nothing, dehydrate and basically poison your body ? I think the reason I keep drinking once I start is it does not work for me, I dont get what I want from it. Hear about the US guy last week that got hammered and saw a sad movie and burned up his double wide mobile home ? Silly stuff this booze.

Dunitall

Sweetr

If you're even thinking you might be alcoholic, chances are you have a problem of some sort.

Us alcoholics are brilliant at deluding ourselves...and others that everything is OK. We deny any drink problem and eventually we start to believe ourselves. It's a horrible situation.

The bottle in the closet is obviously preying on your mind. I suggest you either get rid of it or put it out in the open somewhere. Don't pretend that one or two slugs will be OK. It won't.

Believe me it's not the second, third or fourth drink that does the harm. It's the very first!! Don't do it.

Perhaps you could try going for thirty days without drinking. If you do, keep posting here and we'll all help you through.

Best of luck.

Rich

Music

It's not what you drink, where you drink, with whom you drink, how much you drink, or in some cases, even why you drink. It's what happens "when" you drink. I'm an alcoholic because when I take that "first" drink, I don't stop with just one. Never did, never have, and there's no reason to believe that if I ever drank again, anything would change. Drinking caused me problems and I decided that since drinking caused me problems, I was going to stop drinking. When that failed...over and over, I decided I needed help. I got help and haven't had to take a drink since.

I don't believe anyone can tell you whether or not you're an alcoholic. There are indications obviously, but only you know what happens when you drink. If you have a desire to stop and can't, get help.

Dan

I was like that at first too, years ago. Didn't particularly want to get drunk, but I did more times than not when I drank.
Later on, my only purpose for drinking was to get as drunk and disconnected from my life as I could.
Alcoholism is a progressive gig. It always gets worse, never better.
I woke up one morning to see I had destroyed the couch downstairs with a chain saw. No memories of doing it, but I did.
That's a long way removed from enjoying a few after work eh?

Welcome to SoberRecovery.
A good place to ask questions and find the answers that are within you.

GettingSober

On the topic of deluding, I can sit down and drink 1,2,3 quit anytime I want just to prove I can. Heck I have the remnants of a 12 pack over there under the table and could swig my wifes wine. But if I head down that road it will wind up with getting hammered until I black out eventually.

There are better things - that make you feel better without all the chaos and leaving you wrecked the next day. Or feeling terribly embarrassed.

Sleep/workingout/self-improvent/sidework - I cant think of one good thing booze ever did for me but plenty of bad.