How do you deal with going out to bars / clubs?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I'd also add to my post- I work in a restaurant. That is A-OK with me. I am a dedicated AA-er and put daily effort into the reality that "my problem has been removed" (paraphrase BB 4th ed). I'm an alcoholic- I'm also just someone who doesn't drink. I can go anywhere - and I also choose where I want to go, like I said above.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I formed new hobbies and interests. Occasionally I will go to a pub/bar if a band I really enjoy is playing. any by occasionally I mean 1-2x a year. But otherwise, no, I do not go. for the first year of my recovery I stayed away from bars completely.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
There is no requirement that we go to bars or pubs or wild parties.
I wouldn't have dreamt of going to a bar when I was early in sobriety.
Now, I go to restaurants with bars, but that is about it.
I haven't been back to my old dive bar hangout since I got sober.
Like some of the other folks on this thread, I have other hobbies which don't include being around a lot of alcohol.
And I agree that people who are drinking heavily are exceedingly boring.
I wouldn't have dreamt of going to a bar when I was early in sobriety.
Now, I go to restaurants with bars, but that is about it.
I haven't been back to my old dive bar hangout since I got sober.
Like some of the other folks on this thread, I have other hobbies which don't include being around a lot of alcohol.
And I agree that people who are drinking heavily are exceedingly boring.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,056
I avoided bars in my first 6 months of sobriety. Just cold not face it. Nowadays, I could not care less. Having said that, once the need to drink went away so did the need to visit bars or pubs. My friends rarely go to pubs or bars as well. You are relocating to Asia. Simply say that your faith does not permit drinking. Buddhism is a major religion in Asia. Folks will understand and not ask further.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 67
There is nothing glamorous about bars and clubs. You breath in smoke in most places and look at people who get drunk and end up in bed having one night stands. They wake up with diarrhea and having puked look in the mirror calling it a great night out.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
If your really worried about this, just tell people you don't like the taste of it.
If you have a good plan to stop drinking this will the be least of your worries. You won't have time for bars.
Just don't drink. It will all work out.
If you have a good plan to stop drinking this will the be least of your worries. You won't have time for bars.
Just don't drink. It will all work out.
Changing
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 120
Just say you don't drink. if they ask why you can say 'it's just a personal preference for me not to' duh, do they care if you eat meat or not, or eat foods containing gluten, do you care if people care? just do what you have to for your health, you can still have fun but you have to know yourself and not live your life about worrying what others will think. for me i would see it as a chance to make new friends that I might actually remember and also friends that might actually not avoid me later for being such a ridiculous person when i drink. . . you already know how to handle yourself, so you will either handle it or not. 
good luck and enjoy !
good luck and enjoy !
Changing
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 120
i also want to add that i only a have a couple months sober and avoid all bars parties and clubs right now. which does open up the schedule to do other things that are interesting. i do still miss drinking so I know if I was in a setting where people appeared to be drinking and having fun, I'd end up feeling depressed, tortured or relapse.
be careful.
you have students to teach.
be careful.
you have students to teach.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,756
I do not have to have ways to cope in bars and clubs- because i do not go near them. Why create a situation of stress- when i do not have to? I do not have to go to clubs. I do not have to go to bars....simples.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by sobergirl33 
Hi everyone, I'm new to recovery, I actually only have a few days under my belt. Over the past 5 years or so have been drinking vodka heavily, alone and while out with friends. This past year it has gotten to a point where I drink heavily everyday. I feel like complete crap, gained 30 lbs and I literally don't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror.
Last year I spent 6 months living in a tourist town in Mexico where I worked at a bar and drank every night. When I returned home I continued drinking but mostly alone after work. I'm writing here now because in two weeks I'm moving abroad again, this time to Asia. I really have to give up drinking because I have a more serious job as an English teacher. I need to be productive and help people learn without trying to recover from a hangover everyday. I also want to be active, lose weight and enjoy exploring the new culture without wasting my time and money on alcohol.
I have always loved traveling and living abroad but in my experience this has always involved socializing with heavy drinkers (expats). I still want to go out, socialize and have fun but I'm pretty sure I can't drink anymore because if I have one I'll end up drinking every night alone and that's just not an option. Just wondering what tips you can provide for explaining why you don't drink to others while out at bars and clubs. I don't really want to come out and say I have had a problem seeing as I'm just going to be meeting my coworkers/ other people for the first time.
Thanks for reading and for any tips you can provide
Last year I spent 6 months living in a tourist town in Mexico where I worked at a bar and drank every night. When I returned home I continued drinking but mostly alone after work. I'm writing here now because in two weeks I'm moving abroad again, this time to Asia. I really have to give up drinking because I have a more serious job as an English teacher. I need to be productive and help people learn without trying to recover from a hangover everyday. I also want to be active, lose weight and enjoy exploring the new culture without wasting my time and money on alcohol.
I have always loved traveling and living abroad but in my experience this has always involved socializing with heavy drinkers (expats). I still want to go out, socialize and have fun but I'm pretty sure I can't drink anymore because if I have one I'll end up drinking every night alone and that's just not an option. Just wondering what tips you can provide for explaining why you don't drink to others while out at bars and clubs. I don't really want to come out and say I have had a problem seeing as I'm just going to be meeting my coworkers/ other people for the first time.
Thanks for reading and for any tips you can provide
If asked you can say because of a medical issue you don't drink.
As far as going to bars...back in the day I only went to drink and to meet the ladies..
After getting sober I occasionally go with friends I haven't seen in a while or if the wife wants to go and listen to music.
I`m married, don`t drink and pushing 60. Why would I want to go to a bar? If nothing else they are too noisy.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: GRAYSLAKE
Posts: 17
There's a whole other world out there outside of bars and clubs. At first, I avoided them because they were dangerous for me, but now, I avoid them because they are completely lame compared to other things I could be doing.
Having said that, I go to places where alcohol is served, but not where alcohol is the main event. If people go to a bar for dinner and drinks, I leave after dinner. If it's a work event, I say hi to everyone and leave after about an hour. If it's a birthday party of a good friend or something, I'll tag along but keep an exit strategy.
Having said that, I go to places where alcohol is served, but not where alcohol is the main event. If people go to a bar for dinner and drinks, I leave after dinner. If it's a work event, I say hi to everyone and leave after about an hour. If it's a birthday party of a good friend or something, I'll tag along but keep an exit strategy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Maybe this is one of the sticking points for many folks
Truth be told I do go out to bars and clubs time to time. If it's a work requirement it feels easier until people get realllly drunk. Ask anyone problem drinker or no - being around drunk people when you're sober can be irritating at least
I can go out and enjoy myself if it's called for but it's far too easy for me to start feeling self-conscious, irritated, different from other folks etc...and in each of these cases the chances of ordering a drink are too high. So I don't make a habit of it and if I feel out of sorts I go home.
I almost always get comments of some sort if I'm out and not drinking. If I'm feeling good that's fine, if I'm not so good it's a hassle I don't need.
I enjoy a sober life though and more to the point I'm absolutely convinced a drinking life is not for me.
I could probably use the "I'm on antibiotics/I have an early start/ I'm driving" lines but to be honest "I don't drink" feels far simpler. If other people judge there's nothing I can do about that...and it's none of my business
Truth be told I do go out to bars and clubs time to time. If it's a work requirement it feels easier until people get realllly drunk. Ask anyone problem drinker or no - being around drunk people when you're sober can be irritating at least
I can go out and enjoy myself if it's called for but it's far too easy for me to start feeling self-conscious, irritated, different from other folks etc...and in each of these cases the chances of ordering a drink are too high. So I don't make a habit of it and if I feel out of sorts I go home.
I almost always get comments of some sort if I'm out and not drinking. If I'm feeling good that's fine, if I'm not so good it's a hassle I don't need.
I enjoy a sober life though and more to the point I'm absolutely convinced a drinking life is not for me.
I could probably use the "I'm on antibiotics/I have an early start/ I'm driving" lines but to be honest "I don't drink" feels far simpler. If other people judge there's nothing I can do about that...and it's none of my business
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