VigilanceNow

Hi everyone. So this afternoon I was in a conversation with two people who don't know about my alcoholism or the fact that I'm in recovery. They're work connections, so I generally keep it professional, but we have a friendly relationship.

Somehow this conversation got onto the topic of alcoholism and whether it is a real disease. They were both of the opinion that it is not, and alcoholics and drug addicts simply lack self-control and should get their acts together and stop being selfish.

I wanted to express the fact that not only do I think it's an illness - I know it is. Not so much because I care what they think; everyone is entitled to their own opinion, after all (even if it's wrong!). But I'm ashamed to say that instead of making it a teachable moment, I was preoccupied worrying that they might suspect I was an alcoholic. They already thought it was weird that I didn't get a drink like they did. I just wish I had been braver and spoke up for all the amazing people struggling with this and getting disgusted glances instead of help and support.

Hopefully next time I will have the courage to speak my truth!

DeathBox

You did the smart thing, IMHO. The self-control argument is such a knee-slapper that I think you showed quite a bit of self-restraint. It's probably pretty great that you didn't even get into it with people who will never understand.

I would have blurted out something like, "Yeah, it's actually a weird miracle that some people can take an addictive drug and not get addicted to it, actually".

Let them have their denial. They're still drinking, aren't they? You did the right thing.

newhope01

My husband doesn't understand mental illness let alone addiction. Last time I relapsed he threatened divorce and told me he doesn't believe its a disease.

I told him, I wish I was like him and didn't understand it either. Of course, at the same time I wish he didn't have to deal with someone who has this disease.

I try not to place labels on people and try not to worry about what other people think of those who suffer from mental illness.

VigilanceNow

Thank you for these responses, I feel so much better about it. They wouldn't have understood, and I didn't feel it was their business to know about my experience with addiction. I don't think it came from a place of malice or ill will, just a lack of knowledge and exposure. I too feel envious sometimes of people who don't know what it's like. But honestly I'm glad to feel free (somewhat) of it, unlike many people who refuse to consider their own relationship with it. :-)

zjw

I heard a preacher that i liked ramble on and on about its not a disease and they just need to learn some self control etc.. It really made me mad to hear him say this knowing he had a cocaine problem at one time i figured he'd think diff. He rambled on and on and on.

Later i thought about it more. and Maybe he's right maybe it is not a disease maybe we should all just get some self control etc..

But lack of self control about drinking is EXACTLY what alcoholism is. to say we should all just get some self control and control our selves is deny that alcholism is even a problem at all. And well guess what its a problem a realy big one to a lot of people.

So I though this through more and you know what really made me mad. Not weather or not its a disease or an illness. Not weather or not i'm selfish or i should et some self control as an alcoholic etc..

No what made me mad was they minimalize the issue and seem to show ZERO compassion and ZERO sympathy or empathy for those that are suffering with this problem weather be the alcholic or the alcholics friends or families etc...

And I think some speak like this through "ignorance" its not ther efault maybe they'v ejust never had to deal with it first hand so how could they know the magnitude of the issue?

But yeah at the end of the day do i need to get some self control and quit being selfish sure. But its more or less i need to simply not drink and that is that. And i think some folks should try to be at least a bit more understanding.

ok my rant is over lol.

VigilanceNow

Oh I could not agree more. It's funny you mention the preacher, because I was thinking about how I've met people even who are in recovery who go on and on like that. It suggests that we are weak individuals, and yes a clear lack of compassion. At the end of the day I agree - whatever you call it, it doesn't matter really. It's a problem. But I don't think the similar symptoms common among so many alcoholics and addicts can be ignored. Some people just don't get it!

newhope01

I also think that some people who suffer with addiction can be hard on themselves and are likely to place derogatory labels to define themselves.