DesertDawg

Hi all,

I wanted to hear from those who have at least around a year of sobriety…although certainly anyone is welcome to contribute, as the topic may be relevant to anyone. I want to know if anyone has had an experience similar to mine.

I’m coming up on around 14 months sober now, and in the last couple of months I’ve noticed some subtle, but very real, changes, and I’m wondering if it is just my imagination, or if there is really something going on here. An example that comes to mind is my job. Two years ago, I really hated my job and felt like I couldn’t do it much longer, it was so stressful and was a primary driver of my drinking. After I got sober, the job didn’t change; the same challenges and stress were there and for a while it really was pretty miserable because I no longer had my crutch of alcohol to turn to after an especially grueling day. There were also some family situations that didn’t involve me directly, but they did upset me and frequently led me to drink, to drown those concerns. Like my job, that situation didn’t suddenly resolve itself when I got sober, and has been really difficult to deal with without the bottle.

But in the last 2 to 4 months, but NOT before then, I’ve noticed that I’ve been markedly better able to deal with work, have been doing very well at it, and actually even sometimes look forward to the challenges that used to quite literally drive me to drink. On the family front, that same discord that used to drain me so much is now just another situation to deal with, not necessarily more serious than the various other challenges that we all face on a day-to-day basis. Not pleasant to be sure, but not something to lose sleep over. In general, things that used to send me into a tailspin of anxiety, worry, and then drunkenness I now just kind of take in stride. Find solutions and take action to solve to the problems I can fix; just accept those I can’t. It just seems like there has been a marked improvement sort of suddenly around the one-year mark.

I’m wondering what is happening here. Maybe because I’ve been living life on life’s terms for a while now, rather than always running away from it, I have grown and have subconsciously learned how to prioritize and deal with adversity. Maybe I am arriving at a new emotional equilibrium, where the negative fluctuations in life are not so far down, but the positives ones now seem higher, since I stopped trying to always maximize pleasure and minimize discomfort. In other words, maybe the range of things I expect to encounter, and feel equipped to deal with, has shifted to encompass a lot of the negatives that previously sent me diving to the bottom of a bottle. Maybe all of those things are at play. Maybe this is all my imagination.

OK, I’m beginning to ramble, mostly because I’m having trouble describing exactly how I’ve been feeling. Not a pink cloud, because I don’t feel especially happy, I’m just not being dragged down by things that used to bother me. A bit of background for context: I am not involved in AA (nothing against it, just not for me), I am not taking any anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. I just want to know if anyone has experienced anything similar?

KES06

I can't speak to a year, but just wanted to say Congratulations on 14 months! Your post gives me hope.

Dee74

When I saw your title I was going to say I felt I finally got it together in my second year.

It was a good feeling for someone like me who'd rarely felt that before, and who'd always felt like the bubble was sure to burst when I did.

D

FBL

At nearly 8 years sober, I've noticed a bunch of changes, all for the better.

I'm much better at handling stress. I'm also much more upbeat and hopeful for the future. I'm much more confident in my abilities. I'm also more compassionate and caring towards others. Overall, I'm just a much better person. I owe it ALL to the miracle of recovery.

August252015

I am just past 15 months and I have noticed "jumps forward" at several points along the way. Noticeably for me, about 4 mo, 8 mo and 11-12. I do think that your point about living in the present, handling pre-resentments, and such you described- which we've been doing for awhile now- has a big part in how you are feeling. I know that one phrase that often comes to mind for me is that I do often "intuitively know how to handle things that used to baffle me" (BB para, 4th ed).

I work diligently to keep moving forward and as Dee and FBL said....look forward to every phase of my life and sobriety....as I am able to handle UPS and DOWNS.

Take care- great job on 14 mo!

ScottFromWI

I would agree with a lot of the above repies. The first year of sobriety for me was rough. The second year I started working on some of my underlying issues, especially anxiety, and that really helped in almost every area of my life. Congrats on 14 months and very happy to hear that you are seeing positive progress!

HTown

I am just over a year. I have more energy and I am stronger. Yes! while the job has not changed, my stress is less. Go figure. Thank you for your post. Congratulations.