Mayaray

So frustrating guys I've been doing so well considering where I was a week ago I'm now 4 days sober and this is where I need just love and support from people who understand. I don't feel comfortable going to counselling and talking to strangers face to face as I've already had to that with a professional in a&e. I feel more comfortable coming here and talking about issues and keeping motivated, but my boyfriend is saying I shouldn't be somewhere where I'm talking to people who don't know what their doing like me but rather a professional.

So why am I being forced to talk when all it does is bring me to a place where I want to drink rather than get better?

biminiblue

May, your BF is probably coming from a good place of concern, and maybe he is on to something. I don't know.

We are happy to "listen" any time, though.

Follow your heart. These first few weeks are difficult, maybe tell him you need to find your own way, but thanks for caring. Normal drinkers don't get it, they just can't. It's okay.

tomls

We are professionals!

Mayaray

Thanks guys I understand he's coming from a place of love but I'm just starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of pressure to do things from every direction when I'm just trying to take one day at a time and get through the withdrawals.

tomls

You are in the right place!

biminiblue

It's okay to tell people to back off!

I had to do that quite often in AA meetings in early days. People try to "help" and to me that seems like Controlly McTrollerson. I guess it's just human nature to try to control.

Trust your instincts.

Jaeger

May,
I usually post on the Friends & Family side but your post reminded me a lot of myself. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. When he first sought recovery, I pushed for him to go to rehab. He resisted. After living with him for so many years during his active drinking, I was heartbroken. I saw it as another empty promise that I had received over and over. Due to my own personal program in Al-Anon, I made myself be hands off. After all, I was powerless over his drinking and also his recovery. He jumped into AA has never turned back. He is coming up on 2 yrs sobers. I'm not sure how long you have been together but more than likely he is coming from a place of love. If you do decide to attend some face to face meetings, maybe he will also attend some Al-Anon. Most of all, take care of yourself! SR is an amazing place!
Jaeger

Mayaray

Thank you we've been together coming up 11 months so this is all very new to him we are quite young I'm 23 and he's 26. He's very supportive but I guess he's not sure how to deal with this. Thank you for the encouraging words. All the best to you and your husband. 😊

ljc267

It sounds like he just wants you to get well, and he is worried you are not receiving the help you need. I'm sure he doesn't understand what you are going through (how could he know). I would sit down and talk to him about everything. Explain to him what you need. He probably doesn't know what to do.

Mayaray

Yes you're right he doesn't and I just had a Conversation and said that I need to do this on my own and was very appreciative of his support. He understood where I was coming from and said that he doesn't want me to feel babied and that he won't try to push me so much into doing something I'm uncomfortable with right now.

hellrzr

It's all about relating to another alcoholic. When you can relate to someone than you can believe that the solution that helped them can also help you if you follow the same steps. I can relate to a person who drinks a case of beer in their garage every night after work, because I did that. I can't relate to someone who shoots up heroin in an alley. Therefore I will listen and take to heart the words the garage drunk tells me but the help from the heroin addict will be lost on me because I can't relate to them. A professional therapist can tell you all sorts of things that a book says but if they haven't been that drunk in the garage or that heroin addict shooting up in the alley than, in my opinion, they won't be able to offer the same advice and help to you that another alcoholic can and that's why it's important to go to those meetings and get to know those strangers. That's how AA and NA work and they seem to do a good job at it. Same goes for this great website but you really can't beat face to face meetings with people.