WaterOx

Hi All.

I'm trying to take a long hard look at what's behind all this.
I would just assume go first and tell you my own reasons but I'm new to this sobriety thing and find myself grasping for words and feelings I can't put in writing. Maybe reading about others will strike a chord?


So I thought maybe if anyone cared to share: what do you think was behind your wanting to drink so much?

ScottFromWI

I searched for the "why" reason for so long - both when I was still drinking, and then after I stopped. The answer I finally found was that I drank because I was/am an alcoholic. And until I fully accepted that there really was no answer as to "why" I am an alcoholic, I kept digging and digging - mainly so I could try and FIX it and resume drinking "normally". I've tried to move my focus on finding ways to live my life sober in a better way.

That's not to say that most of us don't have underlying issues to deal with - both physical and mental. But I firmly believe that those are separate issues that were not the "cause" of my addiction - I simply AM an addict, and always will be.

doggonecarl

Please don't make your quitting contingent on understanding or knowing why you drank. Cause you might not ever know. Just quit. The answers might come afterwards.

meowychristmas

I've drank mostly to cope with my anxiety and loneliness. But, I've also drank to "celebrate" things in my life. That's when I seem to tell the biggest lies to myself..."Life is going great, I can just have one drink..." It never works. I always drink to the point of slurring and blacking out.

Nonsensical

I drank because it made me feel better.
I liked it so much I drank often.
I drank so often I got addicted.

'Reasons' after that might be interesting, but were not material in recovering from the addiction.

CoffeeInstead

I drank because
1. I was loney
2. I was bored
3. I was unhappy
4. I was stressed
5. The 'game' was on
6. I was reading a good book
7. I had friends to call and chat with
8. I missed my family
9. I deserved it
10. etc, etc

IOW - I always had an excuse for a drink.

Renew12

Think its pretty natural to try and understand all the whys. Personally, drank from trauma. Drank at people, places and things. Drank to escape. Drank for a reward. Drank to fit in. Drank from stress. Drank for bbq's and sunny days. Really, there are too many to list. Good, bad and indifferent.

Solutions to life aren't found in a bottle. Think you know this or you wouldn't be here with us. Hope you begin looking for positive solutions to life. Instead of poisoning yourself with alcohol.

Understanding the whys may be positive in helping you find solutions. They were for me. They lead me to resources in receiving help.

Glad your here. This is a great place of support, encouragement and hope. Many good suggestions and resources at SR on how to live without poisonous alcohol.

You can do this!...

Forward12

Many people drink for different reasons, but in the end, we're all the same with having a brain misfire when it comes to drinking.
"Normal" people can have 2-3 and their brain tells them that's enough and to stop. For us, it's the opposite and get the "more, more, more!" message.

Fly N Buy

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false."

Happy,mad,glad or sad. Birth or death, sunny or rainy, in or out up or down - I drank.

Towards the end, I only drank on days that ended in y

NYCDoglvr

After a few weeks of sobriety, I asked someone with five months the advantage of being sober. Her reply: "you get to be present for your life!" My response: oh God, no, I never wanted to be present for my life. After a childhood with fear and trauma, I did whatever it takes not to kill the feelings.

In the end, it doesn't matter why. I only have to know I'm an alcoholic.

JeffreyAK

As others have said, as an addict I drank because I was an addict. There may be some value, at least once sober, to exploring why we drank enough in the first place to become addicts, but there may be no answers there either - some combination of nature and nurture, our genes and how we were raised. There might be some peace to be found in exploring the nurture part, at least some closure. But I don't think any of this is necessary to stop drinking, or to stay stopped.

Cooligan

Yes, exactly. For me, once I hit 3 my mind went into the "more" mode. I couldn't stop until I was fully sloshed and could easily pass out.

--

The main reason I started drinking was to come out of my shell but as time went on, I just started liking being drunk which led to me drinking all of the time with no reasoning other than me liking being drunk. It's a terrible cycle.

Fitcher

Drinking temporarily makes unpleasant feelings go away. That's why we did it. Sometimes those feelings are the result of past trauma or abuse. Sometimes they stem from anxiety or unease in social situations. Sometimes it's about alleviating feelings of guilt or shame. Regardless, I think it is an absolute requirement to come to terms with the "why" of your past abusive behaviors, just as much as you focus on the "how". Maybe these occur at different times, as they did for me.

Going back to the beginning, I started abusing alcohol as an awkward teen in a futile attempt to win approval from peers, as well as to escape an abusive and neglectful home situation. Lo and behold, it made these feelings go away, at least temporarily. As this pattern continued into my 20s, 30s and beyond, it was less about social isolation and more about masking the guilt I felt over a lifetime spent pickled. Throw in a nasty case of clinical depression, and my reasons for drinking were both ever-present and self-perpetuating.

I quit drinking for more than 1 year back in the 2000s, believing I was simply in need a long-term modification of my habits, i.e. Practice sobriety long enough, and eventually it will "take". I did just that, lost weight, got into great shape and felt like I had life figured out. But what I didn't do is come to terms with the issues I named earlier and recognize them for the triggers they were.

My opinion is just that - an opinion. But I firmly believe that recovery is a process of both unlearning destructive habits that have kept your body enslaved, in conjunction with making peace with whatever trauma happened in the past that is keeping your mind and spirit enslaved.

steve-in-kville

I beat myself up trying to answer this question. The results? Another relapse. I chose to drink. I simply had to accept that I was an addict and it was impossible for me to ever drink again.

Hevyn

Hi Waterox.

I drank because I was shy & self-conscious. It seemed the perfect answer. Little did I know, years later I'd be completely dependent on it & drinking every day. I should've tried to figure out why I was uncomfortable around people & worked on that. Instead, I kept myself from growing & maturing normally. Had to do it much later in life. My 'friend' alcohol turned on me.

We're glad you're here.

Dee74

I never found a satisfactory answer other than I am an alcoholic.

The slightly longer answer is I used alcohol as a maladaptive coping mechanism for life, and became addicted.

I thought for a long time if I could only just work on those underlying reasons, I wouldn't be alcoholic anymore, but that didn't work out so well.

I just ended up a drunk guy looking for answers.

Like others have said the way that worked for me was stop drinking first, answer questions later waterox.

D

Outonthetiles

I liked the high. It was a great high and fit me like a glove.
I thought I completely impervious to addiction, and that it would never "get" me.
I brought the party with me where ever I went. If I couldn't fit drinking into it, I didn't do it.
Later, I became very depressed about a relationship, but didn't recognize that I was depressed.
Just lots of bad reasons, it's hard to identify exactly what happened, but as miserable as this experience has been, I'm glad I went through it because I'm happy to have gone through a few years of misery rather than to have kept drinking at "moderate" levels for the rest of my life.

Steely

I reckon we all have our own 'form' of alcoholism and guess it doesn't really matter why, but quite normal to look for reason Waterox. Trauma, loss and grief stand out for me.

Steely

And genetics.

KES06

I drank because: my day was great; my day was mediocre; my day was horrible; my friends were celebrating something; I was celebrating something; the sky was blue; it rained; I stubbed my toe.......basically not really for any reason other than I was always chasing that buzz after a few drinks, which of course ALWAYS ended in sloppy ass, blackout drunk. I'm an alcoholic. And this is why I can never pick up another drink.