futureve

I am a little confused... (What else is new?

I know of the 12-Step method, the EMDR method,... But I don't know what the willpower method really is? Aren't they all relying one way or another on the aspect of willpower? Maybe a stupid question but I thought I'd asked it here

JeffreyAK

I've never heard the term myself, but I think you're right, we all rely on power of will at some level. Going to a meeting takes the will to go, following a program takes will, etc. I could drive to the store today and buy booze and get drunk, but I choose not to. Perhaps it refers to what AA folks call "white knuckling", trying to quit by just deciding to quit and not doing anything else - not collecting and using tools, not going to meetings, not changing your routines, etc. That works fine for many people who haven't gone very far down the addiction hole, it tends not to work at all for those of us who did go far down the hole.

ScottFromWI

There isn't a "willpower" method specifically to my knowledge. The opposite is usually true...that we cannot rely on our willpower alone to control our drinking.

Soberwolf

I don't think Willpower is very good at keeping anyone sober it might do for a small minority but I needed to learn about my addiction & myself to really have a chance of staying sober

It's like that saying nothing changes if nothing changes & the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results

tomsteve

seems willpower method would be using me and me alone

paulokes

Also I have never heard of a "Willpower" method...except a way a lot of us folks described our previous attempts at staying sober or staying well-behaved/in control whole trying to drink sensibly.
- Not talking to anyone
- Keeping problems to ourselves
- Trying to "pull ourselves together" / "sort our heads out"
- Getting on a fitness regime
- Making promises to ourselves or others
- Trying harder
- Changing outside circumstances

And lots of other things in between that seem to be very common, quite predictable and ultimately fruitless for many.

Point being most of us are quite stubborn, refuse to ask for help and seem to feel we should be able to sort things out for/by ourselves.

P

paulokes

The best way I can describe Willpower in relation to stopping drinking is it took a lot of effort to ask for help, and continue to seek help when I didn't want to.

P

SteveAlex

Perhaps look into SMART recovery or AVRT?

MarkTwain

Okay, Eve, now that you've had your curiosity satisfied as to the almost invariably unsuccessful willpower "method" I suggest you resist any temptation to try it out for yourself!

Dee74

The willpower method for me was 'trying not to drink'.

I think everyone's tried it Eve.

D

Gottalife

I would have called that desperation, in my case. Most alcoholics have above average will power. Try to stop one drinking and you will find that out.

I think the term willpower best reflects the attitude of people who don't understand alcoholism, non alcoholics, and many drinking alcoholics. They don't understand why an alcoholic can't just straighten out.

"Why doesn't he or she just use some will power? They must be weak." I had been told this a few times and I wondered why I couldn't do the right thing, and I thought " what is wrong with me. Why can't I do that?"

1newcreation

It worked for a short time but ended in worse condition for me. But when jumped into AA both feet in, I wasn't even constantly thinking bout how "will this work now?" Was doing 90 in 90 plus working & doing step work; oh & most importantly to me @ least, was keeping contact so I didn't find myself straying from the herd

Algorithm

I could be mistaken, but I would wager that this question was posed on account of a recent thread by DeathBox on the subject.

DeathBox |

futureve

I apologize but to me, these are two different questions. And I apologize if I am posting too many threads... I have been sober for just a very few days and you see, I am still in panic mode... So, I apologize, for these last few days I have been very present here... I am just looking for support.

MarkTwain

You post all you want.....you cannot post enough! And we all love panicky newcomers around here!!

Dee74

I don't think Algo was criticising you Eve
and yes post as much as you need

D

futureve

It is just that I had just received an email from one of the moderators letting me know that I was posting too many threads, that I must consolidate... Which I understand... Eventually... But at Day 6 or 7... ?

Dee74

Sorry not trying to confuse you - I just wasn't aware of that.

I'm sure there's no problem if you keep posting within the threads you've already started

You can join the April support thread too if you like - all you need to do to join is post

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-one-11.html

D

MelindaFlowers

Willpower plays a big part but here's 99 percent of it:

You have to want to stop drinking with every cell in your being. This is a feeling that I never felt until the day I stopped. Before that it was a mixture of "I can't actually stop," "I won't actually stop," or "I can stop most of the time."

I was a "99%'er" for a long time. 99% of me wanted to stop but the other one percent wanted to try it again. When I got to 100 percent, I never even looked at alcohol again. I haven't even sniffed it in two years and nine months. This is coming from someone who used to lie, hide, and protect my daily drinking more than anything else in my life. I could not go one day without drinking.

You've come really far. That's amazing. The first three months were the hardest for me. Even when you're 100 percent committed, it's still a huuuuuuge change and it takes some getting used to.

Done4today

Congrats on 6 days!!!! You have shown tremendous willpower to not pick up. Now you need a proven plan to continue because your AV will out will your willpower without one.