steve-in-kville

.... versus when you actually wanted to quit?

Simple question: how much time elapsed between the two?? For me it was about 18 months. Those 18 months were mixed with varying periods of sobriety and benders. Once I accepted what I was (an addict) and accepted that I was entirely responsible (not the world!) I finally wanted to stop.

kevlarsjal

I think I realised that I had a problem with alcohol when I was 19. But then it got better again. Later on in life I realised I had a problem. But I didn't know that my drinking was that problem. I was in total denial about it. When someone asked me how much I drank I'd say very rarely. Cause for me drinking meant binging. And I was a level drinker. So never seemingly drunk. Which for me meant I wasn't drinking.
I thought it was anxiety and trauma that were my problems. I went to look for a therapist and all 5 of them that I had a first meeting with or spoke on the phone with said I had to stop drinking otherwise they wouldn't be able to help me. Some of them suggested I was an alcoholic and should consider a detox and rehab before therapy. I was outraged. But I stopped drinking. By that time I still was sure that I wasn't an alcoholic and that I only had to drink to deal with the anxiety. So I kind of stopped before I actually accepted that the drinking was my problem. I noticed it quickly though when I found out how difficult it was to stay sober and when I experienced a good amount of withdrawal symptoms.

ScottFromWI

I'm not sure I can even put a date on either of those specifically, but it certainly spanned years. I can vividly remember the exact moment that I decided that i was going to quit though the last time around.

doggonecarl

I'd say about 10 years. I was 53 when I finally quit.

steve-in-kville

I should elaborate a bit: I had a co-worker that OD'd on heroin. Wife found him unconscious and not breathing in the bathroom. He died a few days later. He was young, had a toddler and his wife was 10 days from giving birth to their second child. That's when I realized I had a problem drinking. That's when I knew I SHOULD quit.

Doug39

I started drinking heavily in 1989 when I was 25. The first 5 or 6 years were non-stop fun hanging at bars and parties, having countless one night stands with women and hanging out with more drinking buddies that I could count.

I met my wife in 1994 and she got pregnant with our daughter in 1995 so I slowed down the bar scene and just drank at home 75% of the time.

Around 2002 or so my health started to suffer and I knew I couldn't keep up daily drinking if I wanted to be healthy and live a long life but I didn't know how to function without alcohol.

In 2010 alcohol started to really take a toll on me mentally and well as physically.

In 2013 I managed to quit for 4 months but I relapsed and suffered the worse 3 years of my life filled with anxiety and depression until I had my last drink on October 24, 2016.

So I knew 11 years before I quit that I needed to quit.

Bailey3

I was 21 or 22 when I first "suspected" I had a problem. I was drinking before my first college class of the day. The class started between 7 or 8 in the morning.

I spent the next 30 plus years in denial. There were extended periods of sobriety where I didn't drink or drank very little at all but, I always felt like I was missing out if I wasn't completely blitzed when I did drink. There were periods where I was just drunk too.

About three years ago my wife left me. I also lost a stepdaughter and grandson. That's when I went completely down the tubes. There was close to five months of nightly blackouts and, plans to end it all.

I guess I just finally realized drinking wasn't worth the trouble and wanted to live. I've been trying to put it back together ever since.

SeaOfSerenity

5 years of being aware I had an issue.
maybe 2 years of trying to quit every morning and relapsing nearly every day.
slipped into depression and anxiety. ended up in hospital with a panic attack likely brought on from withdrawing.
something changed that night. I knew I couldn't drink again

ljc267

I knew when I was in my early 20's that I could and did drink on a different level then anyone else. Believe it or not I was proud of it.

Then I started drinking daily around 30. Never caused a problem so that went on until around 38ish were I really started drinking heavy. That is when I knew I was an alcoholic. That continued until I quit at 45.

Doug39

Actually it was about 14 years.

Zebra1275

I realized my drinking was different than other people in my mid 20's.

Over the next 20 years I moderated my drinking very well in public, and did my serious, alcoholic drinking alone. I kept it hidden very well, until suddenly I couldn't anymore.

Maudcat

Welp, it kinda snuck up on me. Drank for recreation and relaxation all of my adult life. Never considered it an issue.
Late 50s in age, tough work situation. Drinking more to de stress and relax. Fast.
Realized then that the alcohol was in control.
I stopped when I was 62.
So. Five years.

thomas11

Great question. Never thought about it, but I'd say 2 years separated the two.

JeffreyAK

I guess it didn't quite happen that way for me. Realizing I had a problem was an evolutionary thing, from no problem, to a problem plus denial that I had a problem, to realizing I had a problem but rationalizing it, to a big problem with significant consequences and doing something about it, but even doing something about it was not a linear progression, and there was a lot of denial involved and lots of setbacks. In some ways, I didn't understand the magnitude of the problem until I had been solidly sober 4-6 weeks and could think clearly again.

Forward12

I agree with above that alcoholism is a progressive thing with multiple steps from noticing you're drinking more than your friends, to starting to drink alone, to realizing you may have a problem, to knowing you have a problem, to knowing you have a serious problem and that once good buddy, has turned into your worst nightmare.
I was in my mid 20's when I knew something wasn't "right" with my drinking, but another 10 years before it came to really knowing how bad it was.

silentrun

10 for me too Carl. (short version)

(long version)

About a year before that I started hanging around some heavy drinkers and abusing alcohol but it seemed normal because nearly everyone I socialized with drank more than me. I was the tame one. I suspect that regular abuse of alcohol changed something within my physical make up because in my 20s anything over 3 drinks would make me vomit and get sick. I stopped getting sick from alcohol and over 3 drinks became the point of no return instead of a cut off.

July 3rd 2003. At the age of 35 I woke up on the couch after starting the night drinking near a bonfire in my back yard. That was my first ever blackout. I KNEW something had changed. I never suspected actual alcoholism because I thought alcoholics where alcoholics right from the start and you couldn't train to become one. Over the next 10 years I had the nagging feeling what I was doing wasn't OK but again I hung out with people who has a more severe problem than me so I looked downright stable by comparison. My husband would make comments here and there but I never got into any trouble so there wasn't anything he could point to and say "look you need to stop" and I think it was harder for him to accept than it was for me anyway.

Feb 10 2013. My 16 year old was 1.6 drunk at a school dance and the police called for my hubby to come pick her up. I couldn't go because I had been drinking (of course). After he got her home with her crying hysterically I put her to bed. Since I was up I started back in on the 5th of whiskey I had. It was usual for me to take OTC sleeping pills to fall asleep because once I started drinking I just wanted more. Sleeping pills was how I ended the night. That is also the only reason there was alcohol left in that 5th. It was a Saturday night and I needed something left over for Sunday night and whatever HBO show I was into at that time (TrueBlood???)

So I'm sitting there drinking whiskey and soda when my dog started yelping and crying. He hadn't been eating for the few days before and I suspected he was blocked up because he was always trying to chew any blanket or pillow he could get. I had to sit there and listen to him cry for hours before I sobered up enough to drive him 30 miles in an ice storm to an emergen$y vet. I wasn't used to get drunk, partially sober up, get drunk again and I was shaking pretty bad but I didn't have a choice because he was in a lot of pain.

The vet took my dog into another room and left me sitting there in an exam room. I was shaking, I was red faced, I probably reeked of booze and my dog was mangy and unkempt. I'm thinking about that and I'm thinking about my daughter and the situation. I'm figuring that there will be some type of meeting with a school drug counselor or something and how is that going to affect my ability to hide my drinking....wait for it...then I start thinking about how I am going to deal with these situations and can't help but wonder how much of both are my fault for not setting a better example for my daughter and making sure the dog isn't chewing up his blanket...wait for it...then I thought to myself that I really didn't care about all of that because there was still whiskey left in that bottle and I just wanted to drink. In fact, that's all I really wanted to do anyway was drink and never sober up...What.Did.You.Just.Say????If there would have been a scientist watching my brain I swear there was a spark that went off as I became aware of my own internal dialogue . My mind put on a show for me complete with demons and angels . I realized just how much trouble I was in and I became so afraid I was willing to do anything to escape that fate. ANYTHING , including never putting alcohol in my body again.

So 10 years from knowing something wasn't right to ending my drinking career. After I figured out I was an alcoholic it was 2 maybe 3 seconds.

tomsteve

when I realized I had a problem and when I wanted to quit.
amazing what denial does, but when I realized I had a problem- when I honestly, sincerely, and wholeheartedly realized- was the day after my last drunk.
same day was when I wanted to quit.
there were times in the 23ish years of drinking I thought about alcohol being a problem, but denial kept me drinking.

mfanch

20 years.

First overdose and rehab were at age 18. I needed to quit then.
I WANTED to quit off and on over the years since, but
I didn't DO THE WORK of quitting until 20 years later.

RapidMan

I think I've known I had a problem for 20 years or more, but my brain always seemed to find ways to rationalize the problem.
I 'could' stop tomorrow if I wanted. Don't really act like a drunk, so it's fine. I hold down a good job, so whats the problem?
The excuses go around and around, all the time somewhere in the frontal lobes you know full well it's a problem, and lets be blunt, it's killing you.
So don't know if there is any timetable on when the penny drops for any of us, but I would venture to place bets on it being in the years, if not decades

ardy

you never forget that or the first time you have sex.. can I say that..
stood in the shower and sobbed ... late at night.. the day had been so terrible.. court lost a job I was trying so hard to keep.. Ivan was sick again. Melly and Bar were sound asleep..no food in the house the elec had been turned off and no one to turn to for help.. not even my Pop... Mom could only help when he was not aware of the help.... got out of the shower looked at myself in the mirror and said You have to change to get this better that is all there is to it..
fell asleep .. Melly woke me up the next day. Mom you have to sign for something at the door.. big box from my Mom with money in the packages of canned goods and dry box mixes.. tears on the letter.. could feel me the night before.. Grandma and Great Aunt had had nightmare of a huge problem.. and helped to send us the box.. It helped for 3 weeks by then I had another part time job with one temp agency and a part time job at night with another.. Ivan home and meds and elc back in place.. the 1980's we just tried so hard all the time.. maybe that is why my 3 kids have turned out to be the great adults they are... yep.... Ivan in computers Barry in Uniform and Melly traveling the world for her company... and they all have saved Mom with a roof over her head forever.. prayers and hope that more of you have the brighter tomorrow like I have had.. love ardy