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Old 03-29-2017, 06:46 PM
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Neighbor

My neighbor came over earlier and asked if I could make a liquor store run for him. He had been drinking and couldn't drive. I told him I'd go. He's done me a few solids over the past couple of years. He even paid me $10 extra for my trouble (gas & time).

I went and got in and out of there as fast as possible. I realize this may have been a questionable thing to do early in sobriety. It definitely has triggered some thoughts of drinking. I guess just purchasing alcohol, even if it's not for me, is a return to old behaviors. At 10 weeks sober, I'm not sure if I'm ready yet to even be around alcohol without it flipping a switch in my brain. That, for me, is my disease.

Just wanted to share this. Probably not the smartest thing to do early in sobriety. It probably wouldn't have worried me if afterwards the compulsion to get drunk hadn't arisen.

I did go to an AA meeting. I'm impressed by people who get sober living with partners who still drink. What would you have done?
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Old 03-29-2017, 07:02 PM
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Hi bluedog and thank you for your post.
I understand you owed him one, but next time tell him sorry. You're already drunk and I can't contribute to that. He'll be mad but he'll get over it. Don't let the product of alcohol bother you. It's everywhere. Always will be. I've bought wine for my sister for thanksgiving or birthdays. She enjoys it. She's not a drunk. It's just another store to me now. After you have more sobriety time you will get that way. In the meantime, stay away from the insanity and the liquor store. Just my opinion.
Congrats on 10 weeks. That's AWESOME!
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Old 03-29-2017, 08:14 PM
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Thanks waynetheking. That's what I figured. I've heard it said that addiction lies in between the ears - in my mind. In other words, I gotta stay vigilent. That means staying out of the liquor store so I don't get any strange ideas.
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Old 03-29-2017, 10:55 PM
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For sure a dangerous situation, but on the positive side you were able to walk into the lion's den, and make it out ok which is a good thing and some exposure therapy.
I agree though that if he asks again, I wouldn't do it.
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Old 03-29-2017, 11:12 PM
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Hey Blue dog,

congrats on 10 weeks! I probably would have went to the store for him. But before I had, I would have definitely done two things:
1- checked my spiritual fitness. Am I ok to walk into a store for the purpose to buy booze.
2- If I felt strong from #1, then I would have set a boundary and told him that this is a one and only time. Hopefully this situation won't ever happen and if it does you've already given him the answer.

I take my sobriety as my number one priority. Without it I don't have friends, family, work or ability to do a "solid".

Good luck and many prayers
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Old 03-30-2017, 04:06 AM
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Congratulations on 10 weeks, that is wonderful.
In early sobriety any little or big interactions around alcohol can be undermining and have the potential to derail your sobriety.
I probably would have done the same as you, I would have found it hard to say no but it would have stayed with me for a while.
Great job in coming here and talking about it.
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:30 AM
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" What would you have done? "
I cant say for certain early on what I would have done, but I know what I would do today:
yup, I used to be a drunk. but I don't condone my behavior back then and wont help someone else get drunk. theyre gonna have to find another way to get it.
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:39 AM
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If it were me and now that I live a recovery
life using my recovery program of steps
and principles as a guideline, I surely wouldn't
lie to him or anyone, especially saying that
I'm drunk and cant make a run for ya, because
that is surely a lie and with so many yrs of
learning how to live with honesty, I wouldn't
be truthful to him or myself and would have
to review my actions and return to make
amends to him for saying what I did and
not being honest with him.

Of course this is what id do and take
full responsibility for what I say as
well as my actions.

I'll protect my sobriety and recovery with
much openmindedness, willingness and
most of all honesty.

Hoping you will learn the same to achieve
a strong solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:39 AM
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I probably would not have gone, but I'm not you, right? How you handled it is more important and it looks like you did as well as you could have after deciding to make the purchase. I can tell from your message that you weren't all that comfortable with it though, maybe something to consider next time he asks....because now that you did it once you know he's going to ask again.
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Old 03-30-2017, 06:39 AM
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early in sobriety i'd say no absolutly not. i had to pick food up in a bar once and was surrpised i got out of there without drinking.

now a days ic ould do it. I probably wouldnt tho.

but as far as enableing someone else? I dunno they choose to pour it down there throats. I mean would you buy an overweight person some cake? I mean either way youc ould be enabling someone or hurting them.

I suppose it also depnds too what role this person plays in your life. if my wife was an alcholic i could see myself buying her booze jsut so i didnt have to fight with her baout buying booze IE choose your battles wisely and maybe long term thats prolly a bad strategy.
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Old 03-30-2017, 07:12 AM
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My wife still drinks heavily and I go to stores and buy her alcohol. I know it is enabling her and I do not like it when she is drunk but if I refuse it will only make matters worse.

If I don't do it she will get pissed off and we will fight; then she might go out to a bar, drink and drive, and potentially harm herself or others.

If is easier to just go with the flow and accept the things we cannot change.

I do not want to drink so buying liquor isn't a problem at this stage of my sobriety (5+ months).
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Old 03-30-2017, 11:41 AM
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Thanks for the responses. If he asks again I'll try to be prepared with an answer of refusal.

He offered me a drink and I refused. I told him I don't drink anymore, so maybe he won't ask me again.

It is such a loaded issue - not only does it affect you but also the well-being of another. I mean, it's none of my business if someone else drinks, or is it? And alcohol is everywhere, but I don't have to stand in the middle of oncoming traffic, if you catch my drift. A lot to think about.

Thanks again
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