Question About Alcoholism
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
My dad quit smoking 20 years ago. All of his smoking friends are dead. The consequences caught up with them.
Many people drink, maybe only beer, but there they are with liver cancer, the consequences caught up with them. They tell me, "I only had a six pack each day at most. It was only beer, and I am just 36. " Or an enlarged heart and they are the guy I see in the OR who only drinks a few drinks a day, 2 bourbons after 5:30. I have heard so many stories. Not enough for me to quit. It wasn't going to be me.
Whether you use the term alcoholic or heavy drinker, you are still rolling the dice. Alcohol is not good for your body.
When a patient told a doctor friend she drank a pint of alcohol a night he said "you might as well hold a loaded gun to your head, it is suicide either way".
Many people drink, maybe only beer, but there they are with liver cancer, the consequences caught up with them. They tell me, "I only had a six pack each day at most. It was only beer, and I am just 36. " Or an enlarged heart and they are the guy I see in the OR who only drinks a few drinks a day, 2 bourbons after 5:30. I have heard so many stories. Not enough for me to quit. It wasn't going to be me.
Whether you use the term alcoholic or heavy drinker, you are still rolling the dice. Alcohol is not good for your body.
When a patient told a doctor friend she drank a pint of alcohol a night he said "you might as well hold a loaded gun to your head, it is suicide either way".
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
First thing to understand is that Alcoholism is a thinking problem and not a drinking problem. If drinking is your problem you simply stop drinking and life will get better. If you are Alcoholic and you ONLY stop drinking you have just removed the solution you use to deal with life and therefore you will get more and more miserable until you drink again or take worse action.
That's the core thing to understand. It took me more than a year to understand and accept with. The program of AA and a great sponsor and grand sponsor helped me with the program and the steps. Today, although I am still and Alcoholic (I always will be), I am free from the insanity of alcohol and now deal much better with life on life's terms. Please take some action and start attending AA meetings and working with a sponsor on the steps!
That's the core thing to understand. It took me more than a year to understand and accept with. The program of AA and a great sponsor and grand sponsor helped me with the program and the steps. Today, although I am still and Alcoholic (I always will be), I am free from the insanity of alcohol and now deal much better with life on life's terms. Please take some action and start attending AA meetings and working with a sponsor on the steps!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 216
I'm not sure how much I can help either but this is a great thread.
I am one of those who had a partner with alcoholism but also drinks socially, did before that partner, during, and now after we have separated.
Some fundamental differences I noticed between she and I.
- I could have a fridge with a six pack or beer or a few wine bottles in there and think nothing of the fact there were there. She obsessed over them being there and as the years progressed, could not resist opening the fridge to consume whatever was in there when she had the chance.
- If someone were to suggest I take a break from a drinking during a party or gathering, or that I had too much, I would not get angry. She would get VERY angry.
- I rarely drink alone and she loved drinking alone.
- I was able to refuse a drink offered to me at a party, restaurant, or social gathering very easily. She would never refuse an offered drink.
- I was ready to leave events while the booze was still flowing, or drink 2 beers out of any number of them in our fridge. She did not want to leave until she was blacked out or the booze was gone.
- I drank to be social or as a refreshment, she drank because of emotional reasons.
I could go on, but these were all differences between the way I drank and the way she drank.
None of those are cut and dry examples. I'm sure there are many more.
I cannot say for myself if I am a "normal" drinker. I will go to a super bowl party tonight and have some alcoholic beverages, but be mindful of what I drink knowing that I don't want to over-indulge, I have work tomorrow.
It gets so tricky when you try and define those you observe drinking, even binge drinking, and put a definition on their condition. I like the old adages I see around here that once alcohol begins to have a negative effect on your life, and you are unable to control your life or consumption of it despite these negative consequences, that is when you have crossed the line.
I am one of those who had a partner with alcoholism but also drinks socially, did before that partner, during, and now after we have separated.
Some fundamental differences I noticed between she and I.
- I could have a fridge with a six pack or beer or a few wine bottles in there and think nothing of the fact there were there. She obsessed over them being there and as the years progressed, could not resist opening the fridge to consume whatever was in there when she had the chance.
- If someone were to suggest I take a break from a drinking during a party or gathering, or that I had too much, I would not get angry. She would get VERY angry.
- I rarely drink alone and she loved drinking alone.
- I was able to refuse a drink offered to me at a party, restaurant, or social gathering very easily. She would never refuse an offered drink.
- I was ready to leave events while the booze was still flowing, or drink 2 beers out of any number of them in our fridge. She did not want to leave until she was blacked out or the booze was gone.
- I drank to be social or as a refreshment, she drank because of emotional reasons.
I could go on, but these were all differences between the way I drank and the way she drank.
None of those are cut and dry examples. I'm sure there are many more.
I cannot say for myself if I am a "normal" drinker. I will go to a super bowl party tonight and have some alcoholic beverages, but be mindful of what I drink knowing that I don't want to over-indulge, I have work tomorrow.
It gets so tricky when you try and define those you observe drinking, even binge drinking, and put a definition on their condition. I like the old adages I see around here that once alcohol begins to have a negative effect on your life, and you are unable to control your life or consumption of it despite these negative consequences, that is when you have crossed the line.
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by Wells 
...
Some fundamental differences I noticed between she and I.
- I could have a fridge with a six pack or beer or a few wine bottles in there and think nothing of the fact there were there. She obsessed over them being there and as the years progressed, could not resist opening the fridge to consume whatever was in there when she had the chance.
check
- If someone were to suggest I take a break from a drinking during a party or gathering, or that I had too much, I would not get angry. She would get VERY angry.
check
- I rarely drink alone and she loved drinking alone.
check
- I was able to refuse a drink offered to me at a party, restaurant, or social gathering very easily. She would never refuse an offered drink.
check
- I was ready to leave events while the booze was still flowing, or drink 2 beers out of any number of them in our fridge. She did not want to leave until she was blacked out or the booze was gone.
check
- I drank to be social or as a refreshment, she drank because of emotional reasons.
check
I could go on, but these were all differences between the way I drank and the way she drank.
None of those are cut and dry examples. I'm sure there are many more.
I cannot say for myself if I am a "normal" drinker. I will go to a super bowl party tonight and have some alcoholic beverages, but be mindful of what I drink knowing that I don't want to over-indulge, I have work tomorrow.
It gets so tricky when you try and define those you observe drinking, even binge drinking, and put a definition on their condition. I like the old adages I see around here that once alcohol begins to have a negative effect on your life, and you are unable to control your life or consumption of it despite these negative consequences, that is when you have crossed the line.
Some fundamental differences I noticed between she and I.
- I could have a fridge with a six pack or beer or a few wine bottles in there and think nothing of the fact there were there. She obsessed over them being there and as the years progressed, could not resist opening the fridge to consume whatever was in there when she had the chance.
check
- If someone were to suggest I take a break from a drinking during a party or gathering, or that I had too much, I would not get angry. She would get VERY angry.
check
- I rarely drink alone and she loved drinking alone.
check
- I was able to refuse a drink offered to me at a party, restaurant, or social gathering very easily. She would never refuse an offered drink.
check
- I was ready to leave events while the booze was still flowing, or drink 2 beers out of any number of them in our fridge. She did not want to leave until she was blacked out or the booze was gone.
check
- I drank to be social or as a refreshment, she drank because of emotional reasons.
check
I could go on, but these were all differences between the way I drank and the way she drank.
None of those are cut and dry examples. I'm sure there are many more.
I cannot say for myself if I am a "normal" drinker. I will go to a super bowl party tonight and have some alcoholic beverages, but be mindful of what I drink knowing that I don't want to over-indulge, I have work tomorrow.
It gets so tricky when you try and define those you observe drinking, even binge drinking, and put a definition on their condition. I like the old adages I see around here that once alcohol begins to have a negative effect on your life, and you are unable to control your life or consumption of it despite these negative consequences, that is when you have crossed the line.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I don't know if I was born with this issue, as the question "Is there alcoholism in your family?" does not help - I'm Irish- there's alcoholism in ALL Irish families!
But I tried therapy, thinking I could get to the "core issue"; the thing that made me want to be intoxicated all the time.
Well, there are quite a few "core issues", as it happens but acknowledging and facing them did not lessen my desire to drink.
I don't buy the disease model, I don't buy that I have no control and I don't buy that I'm some sort of spiritual cripple.
All I know is that I find it too hard to stop when I start.
So nowadays, I don't start.
But I tried therapy, thinking I could get to the "core issue"; the thing that made me want to be intoxicated all the time.
Well, there are quite a few "core issues", as it happens but acknowledging and facing them did not lessen my desire to drink.
I don't buy the disease model, I don't buy that I have no control and I don't buy that I'm some sort of spiritual cripple.
All I know is that I find it too hard to stop when I start.
So nowadays, I don't start.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
I drank the same as a whole bunch of friends and colleagues. ..... bit I changed my mind about accepting chaos, blackouts, hangivers , drunk driving, narky with kids, money wasting, being lazy and fat.... I chose life. . ( to quote poignant a really release of the moment!) ... I'm only 40 days into my new life and they are still carrying on the same. ...but I'm not. Never drank in morning, had days off every week, never had shakes (much) hardly ever puked.... but it's not the life for me. I matter to me now... (still working in that one!!!!) I hope u stay with you and are happy sober!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted by HTown
My dad quit smoking 20 years ago. All of his smoking friends are dead. The consequences caught up with them.
Many people drink, maybe only beer, but there they are with liver cancer, the consequences caught up with them. They tell me, "I only had a six pack each day at most. It was only beer, and I am just 36. " Or an enlarged heart and they are the guy I see in the OR who only drinks a few drinks a day, 2 bourbons after 5:30. I have heard so many stories. Not enough for me to quit. It wasn't going to be me.
Whether you use the term alcoholic or heavy drinker, you are still rolling the dice. Alcohol is not good for your body.
When a patient told a doctor friend she drank a pint of alcohol a night he said "you might as well hold a loaded gun to your head, it is suicide either way".
Many people drink, maybe only beer, but there they are with liver cancer, the consequences caught up with them. They tell me, "I only had a six pack each day at most. It was only beer, and I am just 36. " Or an enlarged heart and they are the guy I see in the OR who only drinks a few drinks a day, 2 bourbons after 5:30. I have heard so many stories. Not enough for me to quit. It wasn't going to be me.
Whether you use the term alcoholic or heavy drinker, you are still rolling the dice. Alcohol is not good for your body.
When a patient told a doctor friend she drank a pint of alcohol a night he said "you might as well hold a loaded gun to your head, it is suicide either way".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 165
THANX SO MUCH EVERYONE for all your great replies filled w wisdom and good advice for me. i dont know too well how to use the quotes here, i have to read that post to help me use them. but i really appreciate all your support here. cuz im constantly thinking i want a drink, and i do need better perspectives, like u all gave me. have wonderful day everybody and know that U helped me ALOT!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by 120degrees0ut
What about these people i know ive seen at get together things: They are constantly drinking beer. bring a case of beer everytime to these get togethers. ive never seen them without a beer in their hand. they immediately get another beer when they finish one. every single time ive seen these people; this is the norm. SO....WHY arent these people an alcoholic like me?
M-Bob
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