CLAS

"I won't drink today" or "I won't drink forever."

I see how both declarations are powerful. I personally have adopted both. But going through my day I do find that "I won't drink today" is a nice compact statement that relieves me and makes me feel good.

On the other hand, "I wont drink, ever" is a strong foundation too. It's easy to conceptualize and quite clear- no more drinking- ever.

Anyone like to share which one (or another) helped you most?

ScottFromWI

Both have helped me in different ways along the road. To me, learning to be sober means using as many resources as I can.

PhoenixJ

There is only one moment in life- now. The past is gone. The future has not happened yet. Sobriety 'now' means being sober ALWAYS, now. Both have a part to play. If I was bleeding to death-now, I would not think- I will stop bleeding tomorrow. That is how important and significant sobriety now is to me.

pawsgal

For me it's still a little hard to imagine never being impared again, ever. One day at a time is working nicely for now. But it is a relief to know that the hard work and torture of daily drinking is in the past now.

JeffreyAK

For me, early on, it was one day at a time, or the next few hours at a time. Later, it became, I won't drink for at least 2 months and I'll see what happens then. Later, it became 6 months, and not long after it became, I'm done with this forever. Whatever helps the most, right now, is the best way to look at it.

MissPerfumado

I had a good long think about this when I first stopped.

When I finally realised I had to give up drinking, I knew it would have to be forever. But it was very difficult to conceptualise "forever" both generally and when contemplating specific occasions, like future birthdays, celebrations, football finals etc. So like so many others, I focussed on "I will not drink today".

At the same time, I felt that only focussing on today was kind of kidding myself and even perhaps leaving the door open for drinking down the track.

I finally settled on: "I will not drink today, and I will think that way everyday, forever."

That satisfied me.

Grungehead

I like to take care of what's in my control today and trust in my Higher Power to take care of the future. It's been my experience that if I'm doing the next right thing the future takes care of itself. That doesn't mean that life will be a bed of roses, only that I'll be able to deal with life no matter what without drinking.

Delilah1

I have also used both statements. I definitely was at the "I won't drink today," stage for the first 2-3 months. I have kind of flipped my thinking to "I don't drink," rather than "I can't drink." Not sure why that helped me, but it did.

August252015

I've certainly thought both, but the "I will never again" statement is the primary focus. It was off the table for me Feb 22, 2016. Done.

When I say "I won't drink today," it's a note-to-self that I could on any given day, or because I heard something especially moving/sad/true/whatever in a meeting or here, or because I just need an extra reminder. It keeps me humble and brings me back to the "never again" statement.

As many have said, I know I have another drink in me (that cunning and baffling part there), but I know I don't have another recovery.

heartcore

I've never been able to do the forever statement (though I've read & appreciated Rational Recovery & AVRT techniques). Nor has the "one day at a time" been sufficient for me.

My personal merging of the two sounds like this "I'm staying sober during Mardi Gras season - no matter what - then I'll reconsider." Or "I'll stay sober until November, then I'll reconsider."

The good thing about this odd method is that I individualize it to my life. Most often, by the time I get to Lent or November, I'm so solid in my life that it is a no-brainer to stick with my sobriety commitment. Then I add on another section - "ok, I'll stay sober until next Mardi Gras...or next November..." The hard part is that instead of getting a lifetime of freedom, I have awkward reconsiderations every few months (& have - once or twice, chose drinking & regretted that decision & returned to sobriety).

This is not a functional method I'm suggesting. But - so far - those are the longest commitments I've been able to confidently speak & shoulder. They are getting me through. They are short-term, but add up. They require lots of re-evaluations. They mean I've done a ridiculous amount of step work & have a giant pouch of AA chips, dating back to 1986.

I realize this is not a PC or ideally inspiring post, but I decided to post it just to show that while some of us have brains that resist sobriety commitments, we can actually trick ourselves into being sober for - well - most of our adult lives. I'm still scared to say "forever" but I've sort of committed to "forever" regardless. Extra work, but it was the only way I could throw myself in...

The "just for today" was too small & the "forever" was too big. I had to trick myself...

FBL

The first thing I tell myself when I wake up every morning is, no matter what happens, I won't drink today. It's worked for me for the past 7+ years, so I see no need to change my thinking.

Doug39

I always say it is better to think One Day at a Time because it is less stressful and I like to practice mindfulness so it is best to say in the present moment.

I also know that I never want to ever feel the way I did from alcohol abuse - never ever again.

Gottalife

I must have made that decision a thousand times and ended up drunk that day. I guess I was learning what powerless means.

Looking short or long term seems to depend very much on our experience. When I first got sober, all my past experience of sobriety had been awful, so I did not view it as something to look forward to, but rather something to be endured until, according to my AA buddies, it would get better.

I had no real concept of time, even a week without a drink was a very long time for me, and once I actually made three weeks. Can you believe it, 21 whole days, then drank. I couldn't see how I would ever get 21 whole days again, and the AAs told me one day at a time, but that was only part of the answer, though not drinking one day at a time is often erroniously promoted as the AA message.

Hanging on one arduous day at a time was not my idea of a worthwhile recovery. It was unsatisfactory and unsustainable. I needed to hang on like that solely in order to get some things done (the steps) which would change my whole outlook.

When sobriety became attractive (with my new outlook) long term permanent recovery, the AA solution, also became attractive.

I have no problem expressing the desire or belief that I will never drink again. In this part of my journey I had learned the key AA principle of living life one day at a time, quite a different thing to just not drinking for today.

shortstop81

For me, I can see the value in both mindsets. I know 110% that even one drink can send me right back where I left off at my last drunk. But for the past few weeks the cravings have been bubbling underneath the surface, and 'one day at a time' has been getting me through it.

So far, so good. Almost at 90 days.

paulokes

Early days it was "I will not drink today". Now not drinking is a fact of life and something I'm pretty clear on...do not, will not and have no intention of drinking again.

I used to be intrigued by the arguments..."If you won the lottery, would you?" "If the world was ending, would you?" That debate doesn't seem like so much fun anymore

The right mindset is the one that works, on any given day

P

Algorithm

Living one day at a time comes from the serenity prayer, but not drinking just for today (but perhaps tomorrow) is such a reprieve for the addiction that it instinctively latches on to that idea, grateful to still have a chance to drink every day, despite all the trouble it has led to.

Not drinking "just for today" is a daily reprieve -- for the addiction. This is precisely why people promote that idea. Heartcore's post about requiring lots of re-evaluations and having a giant bag of sobriety chips going back to 1986 is a disheartening example of this.

daisy1

I want forever, it's what I want. It's poison and pointless, for me anyway. It does help having a liver specialist telling me I will die if I drink heavily again though.

NYCDoglvr

One day at a time has kept me sober, it's something I know I can do. I quit smoking the same way: it's only today I don't smoke, I can buy a carton tomorrow. Actually the craving for a cigarette was much greater than any alcohol craving.

Gottalife

Good points Algo. Living Life one day at a time might well come from the serenity prayer, which itself is a lot older than AA. It has been solidly incorporated into the AA 24 hour plan set out in steps ten and eleven, about page 84 85 ish, where we review the day gone by, and in the morning, make our plans for the day ahead.

There is nothing about waking up and deciding not to drink just for today. Drinking is not mentioned as, through the earlier steps, the problem has been removed. Instead it is all about how to live the coming day successfully.

least

I employ both. I wake up knowing I won't drink that day but I also know I never want to drink again, as in 'forever'. It's working for me.