BrendaChenowyth

In desperation/exasperation? I will never drink again.
In early recovery? I won't drink today.
Now, with a little time and a little confidence? I don't drink. I just don't.

Yesterday I poured someone a glass of Arbor Mist and then later poured out what she hadn't finished. It STINKS. It smells like nail polish remover. I can't believe I used to drink crap like that. That and Sutter Home white zinfandel. Stomach churning.

Btw I work in home care. Sometimes my clients and their families will have wine. Yesterday the same client asked if I drank. I said I didn't. I am comfortable now saying it. There was a time I actually felt like that was hard to say and not honest.

I just don't drink and that's cool.

BrendaChenowyth

I needed to have an external motivator, a short term goal. I wanted to go back to school with a little bit of sobriety under my belt. So I don't think I was ever in the "just for today" mind set, because I always aimed to be sober for the foreseeable future. I just thought maybe it would be until school started and go from there. I didn't know how the stress of school would affect me, so far so good. I'll just shoot for graduation in December now. So I don't know that I can say I'll never drink again. Right now there's very very little motivation to do it and I don't know what would motivate me to go back to it in the future. Peer pressure won't be the thing, I'm too old. I just don't know if something will come along to sway me. It might seem like a good mantra to say I'll never drink again, but right now that's just not something that I can know, so I simply say "I don't drink".

Sorry felt like rambling lol