Centered3

I am feeling much better from my recent posts where I am embarrassed at my fear of being around alcohol.

I tend to go through spurts of being disciplined with 10 & 11 and then for various reasons not do them. (That's why it's my signature--to remind myself and so you all don't make the same mistake I did).

When I keep it simple, and just practice 10-12 as outlined in the big book, I feel a lot better.

I've been fine around alcohol lately. I went to a comedy show and seeing cans of beer was nothing to me; it was like looking at a soda can. I went to a book club in which I was asked to bring a bottle of wine, and I had no problem buying it, or bringing it. I was also okay when all the women, although gracious, were borderline pushy with why I wasn't drinking a little bit of wine that I brought. Many asked questions. I got a bit babbly from nerves in answering but caught it right away and changed the subject. I wasn't uncomfortable in the least.

I realize now I had been in fear. Yes "the problem has been removed" but every now and then, fear creeps back in. I must practice better at realizing that, instead of getting anxious when I'm in fear again. I have to remember to trust and rely on God, instead of letting fear in my mind get the best of me.

The fear came about because I wanted to see a comedian at a comedy club that I hadn't been to since I was still drinking. The last time I was there, I got drunk. My mind likes to tell me that I had a good time, and that those were my favorite mixed drinks I drank then, but I know in my heart that's a lie. I have to practice more to stop listening to my alcoholic mind that wants me to relapse.

"When I trust and rely on God, I ask Him to remove my fear and direct my attention to what He'd have me be."

God would have me be peaceful amidst the calamity and to live life on life's terms.

PS - I hope my post makes sense and helps others. It wasn't well thought out, it's just a conscious stream of thought as they say. :-)

entropy1964

It makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing. You helped me a lot

tomsteve

good on ya!!
3 important things I must have when I go to an event where there is alcohol
the right motive
fit spiritual condition
and escape route.

pgs 100-102 in the bb talk about the subject

Centered3

Thanks Tomsteve! I've read 100-102 before but I guess my overwhelmed brain wasn't able to summarize it. I love how you clearly simplified it in 3 listed things. :-)

Centered3

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really helping people here so thank you for saying that. :-)

stevieg46

Love what Johnjo 67 said about getting up each morning with 10-12, imagine ourselves as two ''bookends ''> morning when we get up > night time when we go to bed . The space in between has to be filled each day because its empty in the morning , fill it with GOD And the Big Book .

Stevie recovered 12 03 20006 x

tomsteve

join the club!!LOLOL . gotta give kudos for simplifying it to my sponsor. i complicated it to the point of needing quantum mechanics to figger it out!