Scared and need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2
Scared and need advice
Hello everyone.
I have a few questions, but I will start by giving some background.
I'm a 26 year old female and I am not sure but I think I may be an alcoholic.
My father is a alcoholic and has been for 35 years. I grew up watching him drink almost everyday, and multiple rehab trips..
About 6 years ago, I too started drinking everyday. I did so for about 6 months straight and I ended up going to AA and celebrate recovery, and stopped drinking.
In the same time, I joined the Army and was without alcohol so that made it easier... But I was then diagnosed as bipolar and adhd.
I see a physiatrist and have been for 2 years now and am stable on lamictal and Adderall.
The last week I got a bad cold, and to be able to deal with that and my kids on my own I started drinking again. It made the pain go away, and since if I took NyQuil that would make me pass out I opted for wine.
I have now gotten drunk (at evening/night only) for the past four days.
I'm no longer feeling sick, but I started to feel anxiety (which I'm prone to) and I googled the effects of stopping drinking and I totally freaked out so having more alcohol made me feel better. I CANT keep doing this, as I have a past with alcoholism and my family shows I'm very prone to it. I'm scared I have a issue now, but I read just stopping can cause seizures and death... So now I'm totally freaking out even more. I have no clue if only 4 days of heavy wine use and stopping can bring all that on or not. I guess I'm just looking for somebody to talk to about this, and maybe tell me I'm just being anxious. I read I'm not allowed to ask for medical advice, so instead hoping for some similar experiences instead? Thanks everyone for taking the time to read.
I have a few questions, but I will start by giving some background.
I'm a 26 year old female and I am not sure but I think I may be an alcoholic.
My father is a alcoholic and has been for 35 years. I grew up watching him drink almost everyday, and multiple rehab trips..
About 6 years ago, I too started drinking everyday. I did so for about 6 months straight and I ended up going to AA and celebrate recovery, and stopped drinking.
In the same time, I joined the Army and was without alcohol so that made it easier... But I was then diagnosed as bipolar and adhd.
I see a physiatrist and have been for 2 years now and am stable on lamictal and Adderall.
The last week I got a bad cold, and to be able to deal with that and my kids on my own I started drinking again. It made the pain go away, and since if I took NyQuil that would make me pass out I opted for wine.
I have now gotten drunk (at evening/night only) for the past four days.
I'm no longer feeling sick, but I started to feel anxiety (which I'm prone to) and I googled the effects of stopping drinking and I totally freaked out so having more alcohol made me feel better. I CANT keep doing this, as I have a past with alcoholism and my family shows I'm very prone to it. I'm scared I have a issue now, but I read just stopping can cause seizures and death... So now I'm totally freaking out even more. I have no clue if only 4 days of heavy wine use and stopping can bring all that on or not. I guess I'm just looking for somebody to talk to about this, and maybe tell me I'm just being anxious. I read I'm not allowed to ask for medical advice, so instead hoping for some similar experiences instead? Thanks everyone for taking the time to read.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Cypress
Posts: 56
I have depression and anxiety, and the anxiety with quitting drinking is horrible every time. The drinking also sort of negates the effects of our medications by throwing a bunch of our neural receptors out of whack. So, that doesn't help the anxiety or the instability at all. It's totally possible to be functional with a mental illness, but we need to take better care of ourselves than the average person. Not drinking is a really good thing to do to maintain mental stability.
I totally understand what you mean about drinking to deal with the kids, though. I get migraines, too, and omg, does the alcohol make it feel better when my kiddo is talking my ear off while my head is pounding! I always rebound from the alcohol, and feel worse later, though. So, there's a price to pay! There's also the danger of getting drunk and not being able to deal with an emergency, or being passed out and not waking up when the kids need us. I think it's important to remember the consequences. Take care of yourself!
I totally understand what you mean about drinking to deal with the kids, though. I get migraines, too, and omg, does the alcohol make it feel better when my kiddo is talking my ear off while my head is pounding! I always rebound from the alcohol, and feel worse later, though. So, there's a price to pay! There's also the danger of getting drunk and not being able to deal with an emergency, or being passed out and not waking up when the kids need us. I think it's important to remember the consequences. Take care of yourself!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 214
If you are asking the question somewhere there is a part of you that knows the answer about the addiction and anxiety question. I would bet you also know the only way to get better. First thing is to see your doctor and tell them what you are dealing with and make a plan. When kids enter the picture all the games are over and you have to put on the big boy pants. If something unfortunate happens while you are drinking with your kids you will never be able to live with yourself. I have met some really nice people on here and they all have great advice. Make a commitment to yourself. I am saying a prayer for you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experiences/advice. I'm planning on dealing with the day tommorow, and not drinking anymore wine. I'm curious though, should I call my doctor since I've only been drinkinf again for 4 nights? If I stop tommorow and have no more and start AA again, will I be putting myself in risk of seizures and delirium so soon? Not sure if this is the anxiety talking or not. It freaks me out though, I gotta stop and be level for my kids! Thank you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR! It could definitely be your anxiery talking Coley, but it's not possible for us to tell with any certainty....if you are on meds and started drinking again there can be all sorts of reactions. If you can talk with your doc or counselor that certainly wouldn't hurt. As one diagnosed with GAD myself, I can say for sure that drinking made it worse for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 54
Hello Coley,
It sounds like you are "self medicating" with alcohol which is not uncommon for those with bipolar disease. I know because I am bipolar and have used alcohol to medicate myself as well.
May I respectfully say you need to be present for your children all the time and not in a fog with clouded judgement.
Please see your primary care M.D. asap and discuss your concerns with him along with contacting your Psychiatrist. There are anti anxiety medications that can be prescribed which may help you greatly.
Alcohol will only numb you and make everything worse.
By the way ,Lamictal is also used to treat convulsions and seizures along with bipolar disorder but one must avoid alcohol when taking this med.
Please take care and stay close to S.R. You will find much support here.
It sounds like you are "self medicating" with alcohol which is not uncommon for those with bipolar disease. I know because I am bipolar and have used alcohol to medicate myself as well.
May I respectfully say you need to be present for your children all the time and not in a fog with clouded judgement.
Please see your primary care M.D. asap and discuss your concerns with him along with contacting your Psychiatrist. There are anti anxiety medications that can be prescribed which may help you greatly.
Alcohol will only numb you and make everything worse.
By the way ,Lamictal is also used to treat convulsions and seizures along with bipolar disorder but one must avoid alcohol when taking this med.
Please take care and stay close to S.R. You will find much support here.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Coley,
Hi and welcome.
I'm ex military. But, I was air force. So, hardly military. ☺
First off...to be honest...imo....Once you drink to get drunk and do it long enough where you crave, the switch has flipped. You are addicted.....so yes...you are an alcoholic.
Some folks will say....it doesn't matter...or ony you can decide that....consider this....
I'd rather think I'm an alky and be wrong than think I'm not and be wrong.
Approaching this problem knowing we are addicts put us in the right mindset....
It probably takes less time than we think to become addicted.
What takes a long time...imo....is the heavy duty mental and physical damage to really show through.
If you are having anxiety from not drinking after 4 days clean you have some brain damage going on....if you need a dr. See one...
Bipolar...adhd....Plus, the meds to boot....there is something going on in your brain.
Drinking booze does not help a person sleep....imo. the body works overtime to get that booze out of your system. So 4 glasses of wine before bed...you are not getting proper rest.
The problem is when we are clean....we crave. It is the brain damage. I don't take meds. And I am not you....so I can't tell how badly you crave.
At 26 for me, I had to quit drinking for a deployment once and it was pretty bad. I got sick about a week in and was bed ridden for a few days. I didn't know at the time it was withdrawals. I survived somehow, but drank as soon as I could when I got out of there.
The answer is stay clean....AA says work the steps etc.....avrt says...never drink again....
I say...stay clean what ever it takes. You have to change your life a bit to be content w out booze....that is the trick. That is why we relapse.
You know there is no problem booze can't make worse.
Posting here has been a huge reason I am clean for 16 months. Going to AA helps me too. Seeing people in the flesh talk about what booze has done to them is motivation not to drink. But, you know, that is only part of what AA is about.
Thanks for the therepy.
Hi and welcome.
I'm ex military. But, I was air force. So, hardly military. ☺
First off...to be honest...imo....Once you drink to get drunk and do it long enough where you crave, the switch has flipped. You are addicted.....so yes...you are an alcoholic.
Some folks will say....it doesn't matter...or ony you can decide that....consider this....
I'd rather think I'm an alky and be wrong than think I'm not and be wrong.
Approaching this problem knowing we are addicts put us in the right mindset....
It probably takes less time than we think to become addicted.
What takes a long time...imo....is the heavy duty mental and physical damage to really show through.
If you are having anxiety from not drinking after 4 days clean you have some brain damage going on....if you need a dr. See one...
Bipolar...adhd....Plus, the meds to boot....there is something going on in your brain.
Drinking booze does not help a person sleep....imo. the body works overtime to get that booze out of your system. So 4 glasses of wine before bed...you are not getting proper rest.
The problem is when we are clean....we crave. It is the brain damage. I don't take meds. And I am not you....so I can't tell how badly you crave.
At 26 for me, I had to quit drinking for a deployment once and it was pretty bad. I got sick about a week in and was bed ridden for a few days. I didn't know at the time it was withdrawals. I survived somehow, but drank as soon as I could when I got out of there.
The answer is stay clean....AA says work the steps etc.....avrt says...never drink again....
I say...stay clean what ever it takes. You have to change your life a bit to be content w out booze....that is the trick. That is why we relapse.
You know there is no problem booze can't make worse.
Posting here has been a huge reason I am clean for 16 months. Going to AA helps me too. Seeing people in the flesh talk about what booze has done to them is motivation not to drink. But, you know, that is only part of what AA is about.
Thanks for the therepy.
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