Redmayne

Two of the most profound observations I've heard on the subject of alcoholism are,

1. If your problem is alcoholism, then your problem isn't alcohol...

2. Alcoholism is the only illness that'll kill you whilst at the same time telling you, you haven't got it!

The first because the alcohol is but a symptom of a deeper malady, known as alcoholism...

The second because it nearly killed me and it's certainly taken the lives of others I've known personally and publicly.

Given that in both cases the only respite from which is absolute abstinence I'd suggest these two observations are kept, as I do , firmly in mind...

Che

I still like what least (iirc) wrote one post.

You never wake up regretting not having drank the night before.

If alcohol didn't make us so sick and useless, who would care how addicted we got? It's wanting something that makes you feel bad that creates the paradox of alcoholism and any other drug or behavioral addiction.

August252015

There are some great sayings out there. One I like is "a grateful drunk never drinks."

Redmayne

Like this...thanks for sharing...

Redmayne

'The secret of life may not be life itself but how you manage life itself'- Joe McQuany who together with Charlie Parmley presented 'Charlie & Joe's: Big Book Study Meeting', which helped many, many people including me!

MelindaFlowers

Before I was sober I used to see this and roll my eyes. I wondered, why wouldn't alcohol be the problem? Of course alcohol is the main problem. Now that I've had some serious sober time it makes perfect sense to me.

It could have been any substance. I planned my life around my use of the substance. I used this substance to escape, to check out of life. I used this substance I made myself sick with the substance, trying to make myself feel better. I knew with certainty that it was killing me and ruining my peace of mind but there I'd be the same night, drunk out of my mind.

Why would any person self destruct like this? Why wouldn't they say, after waking up sick for the thousandth time, no more?

Now when I look at alcoholics and addicts I know that there is something very wrong with them beyond the alcohol. Fixable? Yes. But there is something very dark going on in their mind if they can't even be awake and present for normal things in life.

I was an alcoholic for about ten years. First three were easy, next three or four were hard, and the last three or four were a very dark place. It became nearly impossible to live yet I still drank. Every night. It's those four years that taught me the most about alcoholism, not the first six. For the first six I loved to drink. For the last few I hated drinking. Why did I keep drinking?

This has me thinking that it was something bigger than the alcohol. Something was just very wrong with me. Very wrong.

So what's it like now that I removed the substance? Stopped feeding the addiction? Well I'm not nearly as crazy as I thought I'd be. Did sobriety open up a new world of problems? No, but it did help me to see myself through no filter and some big changes were needed.

I had to be present for life. I had to be awake for it. I could no longer hide behind a substance. I only drank at night but just knowing that I could drink and escape that night provided a sense of escape during the day. "Only X hours until I can go to fantasyland."

Redmayne

Thank you for sharing this , not least because there's a lot I, and I'm sure many others can identify with...

Written in an intelligent, articulate manner, which is a credit to you whilst at the same time providing an excellent example of someone sharing their experience, strength and hope in a positive, constructive manner that's an example to us all!

MIRecovery

Good stuff!