Centered3

I've worked the steps already once through, very thoroughly. I've been starting to go to new meetings in a new fellowship.

It's weird, because I'm sort of a newcomer there, but I've already worked the steps in another fellowship where I was told that the step work is the same no matter what. So I'm not a typical newcomer. I don't think people know how to approach that when I talk to them.

So do I get a sponsor in the new fellowship I'm attending? Do I just go to meetings? Do I work the steps again?

ScottFromWI

I think some people even re-do the steps multiple times within the same group over time, so getting a new sponsor and re-doing the steps with your new group certainly can't hurt, right?

Centered3

Thanks Scott. But I just finished the step work and it took me years to get through. Isn't it too soon to go through them again? Especially since I went through a detailed 4th step?

ScottFromWI

I am not in AA myself on a regular basis, so I can't tell you if there are any time limits, but I have friends who have told me they've done the steps over again.

I guess you could ask someone in the new group if they'd be a sponsor and see what they have to say, I don' t think there's a hard and fast rule as to how long you'd need to wait.

stevieg46

Hi pal , If you have worked through the Steps via sponsor armed with the facts then 1 -9 done with the Books exact precise directions , then I cannot for the life of me think of any reason for doing 1 - 9 again , as you know fine well 10 . 11 . 12 . are daily maintenance , so in practice if constant conscious contact is maintained that then keeps you in good spiritual condition .

I have never been on a 12 Step weekend/retreat where they do a refresher course ? I know that happens .

Going to a new fellowship means (for me )you only change the wording to suit the cause . Don't know the reason /question for your post ? but for me ''you do not need to prove anything to anyone UNLESS its a new addiction ?'' is your reason to do with ''wanting to fit in ? '' you have no need , you are a member if you say so , end of IMO of course , take care C 3 . just remembered if its to do with the split in your clean /sobriety time ? for example > if you are say 4 years clean and then drank for a period then your stop date means, for example if you stopped say 2 years ago ? then your 4 yrs clean and 2 years clean and sober , you cant be 4 years clean and sober , length really means nothing , its where you are in recovery , I was over 20 yrs off booze and ''nuts '' again I might be off track here . NB means in Latin '' Nota Bene ( think ) or Please Note or PS forgot to get back on that (grin ).

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006

entropy1964

So you're not working with your old sponsor? I'd just get a new sponsor and soldier forward. No reason to rework the steps unless ya wanna. Why'd it take you years to do them? Just curious

entropy1964

Oh that's right....you quit one addiction 4 years ago (NA maybe?) but have just quit alcohol. So are you saying you want an AA sponsor? If that's the case, then maybe. I dunno. But if you were drinking alcoholically while doing the steps for the other addiction, um, something seems off. But if you just finished them..... Oh man I'm confused. More info please

Centered3

Hey Stevie! :-)

That's what I thought, too. And that's what I was taught. :-)

I've never been on one, either. I've thought about it, though. I'd rather listen to speaker tapes.

Wow you're in Scotland and I'm in the US and I think we were taught extremely similarly, how 'bout that? ;-)

I completely agree with what you wrote. I think I was buying into what other more typical 12-step meetings teach, unfortunately. I also think maybe I was trying to fit in...... you caught my ego! lol

Ok thanks for explaining this. :-) Too many other meetings I tried out focus on length. However, to me, it has nothing to do with length but has all to do with did you work the steps out of the big book, and are you growing spiritually by conscious contact with God.

Nope you're not off track in the least. I get exactly what you're saying. I was crazier during the years I stopped drinking and left AA.

LOL thank you! :-) No worries, I keep meaning to reply back to your other posts. I get lost in all the posts sometimes!

Thanks Stevie!

Centered3

No, our sponsors don't really work with us once we are in 10, 11, and 12.

It took me years to finish the steps because I kept listening to my mind which was full of fear. I stopped and started too many times to count.

Centered3

Sorry for the confusion. It's okay. I think I'm just having an ego-filled week, and the woman who was my sponsor got me out of my head and back on track tonight. I just need to be more vigilant with connecting to God more and resisting my ego.

Centered3

You all continue working with sponsors after you're done with the steps? Curious what for?

Gottalife

The steps are never done or completed. It would be more accurate to say that I have been through the steps and learned the principles I need to apply to have a permanent recovery. The first nine steps identify the problem and solution, take action on the solution through inventory, confession, and restitution, and once cleared of the wreckage of the past, we continue to live along spiritual lines in the last three steps, which incorporate the first nine.

We have found for permanent tecovery we must stay in good spiritual condition through service to others. Working with other alcoholics, where we revisit steps one - nine, is vital to permanent recovery.

Regular inventory, meditation, prayer, amends on an ongoing basis, if practiced, elliminates the need for further fourth steps. Working with others also serves this purpose. Navel gazing is not where its at. If we continually look inwards we will always find something to worry about.

When thinking about steps in another fellowship it is worth considering the AA solution, which is through God and the steps to bring about a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism.

So now do we need a further personality change to recover from some other spiritual sickness? Would our fourth step on the new affliction reveal a whole different set of character defects? Would we be dealing with an entirely different personality?

I don't think so. The spiritual malady manifests in many ways, but the solution we have found in AA, pretty much works across the board. It would be confusing to try and live two paralell programs to say the least. By all means go and help out at the other fellowship, but one set of steps is all that is needed for your recovery. That and working with others.

HeadingtoChange

Putting aside the spiritual malady for a second which is also referenced in many groups other than the fellowship. If there is a psychological reason for looking to change ones state of mind using externals then that would need to be addressed if ever to be free of the constant need to find something to alter one's reality. I would suggest professional help to guide you through this process. It won't be an overnight thing but is a real solution. The alternative is to continue the 'quest' until the bitter end.

tomsteve

I got through the steps in about 12 months the first time.
13 months in I was diagnosed stage 3 melanoma. I faced a lot of things I never experienced before and went through the steps on them.
ive went through the steps numerous times on different occasions for different things.
I'll add that each time after the 1st time wasn't as thorough as the 1st time. I wasn't dealing with a lifetime of crap but the results were awesome.

now, a lot of people say only 10,11,12 need to be worked all the time, but for me starting at step 1, admitting and accepting im powerless over a person,place,thing, or situation and my life( it might just be my thinking) is going to unmanageability, really gives me inner peace again.
theres times I take my will and my life back, so that's where step 2 and 3 come in.
then onto step 4 to see what character defects/shortcomings are at play.
then give em up
then see if I hurt anyone and fix it.
and continue.

AnonSara

I agree with not giving it too much thought. We over think things.

Personally, I find that I need to be reminded and focus on aspects of many of the steps possibly multiple times a day. When I feel myself getting off track, having a strong AV in my head, over thinking/ analyzing things that have simple answers, acting out toward people in an appropriate ways...

I consider the steps not as a check list to go through but as a framework to live my life. Good luck to you!

MIRecovery

Yes and yes. It is my opinion that the steps can not effectively worked until are clean and sober. I was a poly drug abuser with alcohol being my DOC. I know for myself that until my mind was free from the obsession and compulsion of being mentally altered I not in recovery

sugarbear1

I worked the steps at 2 weeks of sobriety with amazing results (obsession lifted). I worked the 12 steps again at 4 months, 8 months (learned the sponsor's role this time through) and at 18 months of sobriety. When I get squirrely or feel off-center, I work through those 12 steps with my sponsor.

My home group members work the steps more than once. Some of these people have 30 years of sobriety and continue to work the steps (all 12) with their sponsor. They claim that they are not the same person today that they were a month ago, so there will always be something to learn when working through the steps honestly.

Why not work the steps again? They don't need to take a long time to work through. Just take a look at you through the step-work and see what happens (again!).

Centered3

Thanks, Mike. This was very helpful. I knew this, but then it makes me confused why sponsors in our group push us out of the nest once we no longer need help with amends? I still want guidance in living in the steps now and how to live along spiritual lines.

I've posted about my personal situation on the Step 12 thread. I'm going to look to get my dog certified as a therapy dog next week and hope to go volunteer at the place with the people I met while walking her. I'm still confused about taking people through my steps at my home group, because now my sponsor says I should go up and ask them if they're working with anyone. But that to me is promotion and not attraction. She personally does well in her sobriety without focusing so much on step 12. She focuses more on 10 and 11. Personally, I think it's because she had a very bad experience with trying to help a newcomer and that scared her into not reaching out too much anymore.

Thanks for clarifying this. It gets confusing when I go to other meetings and they don't practice it this way. LOL navel gazing, I'd never heard that expression before. I love your last sentence and am going to write it down in my big book because its so true.

YES that is what I was taught, too, and that's what I thought. I think the other meetings were just confusing me. My sponsor even thinks I was so out of sorts these last couple of weeks because of--and not in spite of--going to all these new meetings.

No. I need more guidance in living in 10, 11, and 12 and processing what I am learning. I don't need to do another 4th step if I'm doing a 10th step. I need to work harder at not letting my crushed ego rebuild. Or I need to figure out if I "missed something" in my work.

I don't think so, either, but I needed to hear from others because it was all getting confusing. I remember asking a group leader at another AA meeting I liked if she'd be my Step 10, 11, and 12 sponsor. She said no, that I had to rework the steps with her, the way her group does it. I don't get it. I don't need to rework the steps.

I need a sponsor to help me get in the mode of living in 10, 11 and 12.

I was pushed out of the nest too soon.

Thanks, Mike.

Centered3

Thanks I have a therapist for my depression and anxiety, but in my experience it is all interrelated. The more I discipline myself to turn to God as taught to me in AA, the less the effects of my depression and anxiety. But sometimes it's a lot easier said than done.

Centered3

I've heard others working the steps this way--a quick way. If I hadn't done it the way I did it in my group, I would've liked to do it this way to get some relief quickly. It reminds me of a speaker who said "If you ever hear someone say 'I wish you a slow recovery', run!"

I'm sorry about your diagnosis. :-( I hope you are feeling better now.

What do you mean that you went through the steps on them, when you went through rough times? That's when I started struggling in my sobriety, when the sh*t hit the fan with one thing after another.

I love this idea. I'm going to try to remember this for when I do my 10th/11th step inventory.

What kind of meetings do you go to and how do I find them? This is the kind of recovery I want.

I hadn't understood how all the steps really come back into play here. That's probably why I don't always feel better even after writing down my 10th steps.