Madridista93

I stopped drinking alcohol a year ago (I'm 23), I had serious anxiety with panic disorder and used alcohol as a relief for my anxiety, it worked for a year or two but then it got out of control and I started having serious negative effects. I had many close friends and group of friends with who I used to go out and of course at this age have a drink. However; when I stopped drinking on a personal matter things got much better but in regards to my friends I have lost a lot of contacts and friendships because I would find an excuse to not go out to the bar or club, I kept on giving excuses so it came to the point they thought I was ignoring them, , it is quite sad that I have to give an "excuse" for not drinking, what has happened to our world?

Because I stress on my excuse I tend to avoid going out with friends and j end up alone, it is hard to find people in their twenties not drinking when going out even though I would love to go for a nice dinner or do other activities that do not have to involve drinking. Whether going out with a guy a girl or just a group of friendsit always involves alcohol and I am starting to get stressed on how to deal with this situation. The problem is everything involves drinking nowadays and I don't want to lose friends as well but I do not want to be open about my past problems. What would you do in a similar situation? I would love to hear your advice and experiences

PS is am on medication for panic disorder and anxiety

jimmyc

Give them an excuse about how your medication means you can't drink

Forward12

A friend of mine used this excuse as well and it never caused an issues. Also maybe ask your friends to do something that doesn't involve alcohol.

tomsteve

why not be honest and tell them the truth?
it just may remove a lot of anxiety

Db1105

I got sober shortly before my 18th birthday. Got sober through The Twelve Steps and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Met quite a few others my age getting sober and hung out with them. Went to college sober, met my wife to be at a college party, any time alcohol was offered I just declined saying I don't drink. I found only a few were persistant and I just repeated staring right in their eyes saying what don't you understand about that I don't drink. That usually did the trick. 99%!of others just don't care.

The only thing not drinking has kept me from doing is drinking.

Gottalife

I got sober at 22 and I can relate to that social "isolation" feeling. I tried to get sober on my own at 21, and I think it was a big problem. By 22 I had no friends left, so the idea that stopping drinking would cause me to lose friends had become kinda redundant.

There were a few things I did this time around. I joined the AA program, and in the meetings I met plenty of young people trying to get sober like me, and we did have a bit of a social life outside of the rooms.

Then my work in the program had me go out and set right many of the mistakes I made towards old friends and exs. This was a healing process for them as much as it was for me, and most were delighted I had stopped drinking. Part of the process was to tell my friends exactly what my problem had been and what I was doing about it. In the AA book it says:

"Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor."

I found this to be true. My real friends were delighted I had stopped and did everything they could to help. Telling them the truth was the right thing to do.