Dreams really suck sometimes!
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Dreams really suck sometimes!
I don't remember if I've shared this here with those familiar with the story with my kids. Because of my alcohol-related recklessness, I lost unsupervised visits with them. My ex-wife decided it was best if they had zero contact with me for a year. This was in direct violation of a court order but, since I felt so distraught and riddled with guilt, I agreed to it at the time.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me.
I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.
That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me.
I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
I think bad dreams can actually be helpful sometimes. Sometimes, they can help us be aware of exactly what it is we're fearing. And then, once we can identify the fear specifically, we recognize that it's exaggerated, irrational, highly unlikely, etc.
But I always feel a little sick to my stomach the day after a bad dream. Blech.
Hey, good luck tomorrow. I think things will go well for you.
But I always feel a little sick to my stomach the day after a bad dream. Blech.
Hey, good luck tomorrow. I think things will go well for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by GetMeOut 
I don't remember if I've shared this here with those familiar with the story with my kids. Because of my alcohol-related recklessness, I lost unsupervised visits with them. My ex-wife decided it was best if they had zero contact with me for a year. This was in direct violation of a court order but, since I felt so distraught and riddled with guilt, I agreed to it at the time.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me. I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.
That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me.
I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by GetMeOut
I don't remember if I've shared this here with those familiar with the story with my kids. Because of my alcohol-related recklessness, I lost unsupervised visits with them. My ex-wife decided it was best if they had zero contact with me for a year. This was in direct violation of a court order but, since I felt so distraught and riddled with guilt, I agreed to it at the time.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me. I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.
That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
After rehab and about 7 months sobriety, I decided it was in the best interest of all involved if I began to repair my relationship with my children. I have met with my oldest daughter numerous times since December, but the younger one was still not ready. As of last month, however, she did agree to meet with me.
I am scheduled to meet with her, my other daughter, and their counselor tomorrow evening.That said, I keep having recurring dreams, particularly about my youngest girl. Her temperament is most like mine. We are also both very sensitive and deeply affected by things. We were becoming much closer before my life skidded off the rails. I know she has kept her distance because she is afraid of it all happening again, and worse.
I have many dreams about both of them but the one last night was particularly distressing. I dreamed I was with them both. I gave my youngest a big hug and allowed myself to cry out only a little of the agony I've felt this past year. During the course of the conversation, though, she began to behave exactly as my ex-wife. In fact, they both did. I was immediately on the defensive, feeling agitated, angry, and upset. I know this is only anxiety about the meeting tomorrow, but it has left me all out of sorts! There is nothing anyone can do about it, really, it just helps me to write it out.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by Misssy2
I just realized too...it is not in your wifes power to over rule a court ruling...Unless she goes back to court and has the original judgement amended. You have every right to see your kids based on the original court order and you can make her stick to it or hold her in contempt of court.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Well, my daughter showed up to the meeting already crying. She looked distressed and frightened. Over the past year, I was afraid that my absence in her life would be having that effect. It pained me to know I was right about it. The counselor spoke to me a few minutes before the girls came in. She said my youngest daughter did not want to discuss anything pertaining to what happened. She didn't want me to ask her anything, and she didn't want me to hug her. She began to loosen up as the meeting progressed. I brought cookies, which helped tremendously. I caught her looking at me several times and we even, kinda sorta, conversed with each other a little. All in all, we made the best of a decidedly awkward situation.
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