zeldachan

I'm 35, female. Heavy drinker for 10 years. Quit, managed 1.5 years of blissful sobriety before recently relapsing. Binged for a week. Sober for 8 days now. I always had acid reflux that the drinking didn't help and now I am Getting tested for esophageal cancer on Tuesday. I can't stop having panic attacks and think I might go check myself in the hospital after work tomorrow. I'm so scared. What do I do. As an alcoholic that doesn't know how to cope except drinking.

Dee74

Hi Zeldachan,
I'm hoping for a good test outcome for you, which at this point is the likely outcome .

I understand the fear and the drive to drink - but drinking won't help it will only inflame things.

Lean on us

D

zjw

I hope it works out. When I quit I had this lump in my throat for months between the smoking and drinking I didn't wanna know what this lump meant and thinking about it and the lump itself gave me panic attacks.


In my case in time I got better I never had it checked out tho. I hope it works out for you.

Ariesagain

Did the reflux get better when you weren't drinking?

Are they giving you an endoscopy or one of the other tests?

I went through this a while ago and had the same fears, especially since I'm quite a bit older. In my case, it turned out that the omeprazole they had prescribed was actually making the problem worse instead of better! So I went off it with my doctor's skeptical approval (she wanted to double the dose instead!) and after a rough few days it got much better. Then I quit drinking...voila. Zero reflux.

Being younger and being female, the odds are greatly in your favor of not having esophageal cancer, so try to relax best you can....

Sending you a hug...

Thumpalumpacus

What you do is not worry about the outcome you don't know. Nothing you drink will address your worries, and you know that.

Best wishes, sweetie.

fantail

I'm health-scared too. I hope a week from now both of us have good news and are feeling both relieved and committed to not ****** with our health anymore.

Do you do AA at all? I have a really great meeting that's all young women (I'm female, 32) and I went there and bawled my eyes out. I feel a lot better now. It really helped to have people tell me it was OK to be scared.

I know how you feel about not having coping mechanisms. You did a year and a half before though... you can do it. I'm not really coping, I'm just reading here and stupid blogs and distracting myself. But I'm not drinking and neither are you. That's amazing.

Blacky

I have acid reflux and a type of hernia of the stomach valve. I also have what is called Barretts esophagus which is the changing of the cellular structure of the esophagus and is a precursor to cancer if left untreated , this is caused by the repeated damage from stomach acid. I have the scope procedure every three years now.

This condition was brought about by heavy drinking and also vomiting probably over the years. I am stable and with medication have no heartburn now and have a low chance of things progressing to cancer.

If they find anything with your testing I suspect it will be minor and treatable and you will be fine. Being checked out is good thing to do when we quit drinking.
So hang in there and try and not worry about things. Most people are fine once they quit the alcohol and have no damage.

SoberCAH

We are with you, Zelda.

Keep us posted.

Glad you are here and that you're going to the doctor.

I had a couple of health scares a couple of years ago and rode them out without too much anxiety until I went to 2 specialists (cardiovascular group and pulmonologist) and found out I was okay.

oldsoul1122

I don't know what your symptoms are but I had acid reflux when I was a drinker. My throat was sore and my voice was gruff. I got checked all the way down to my stomach. Turns out it was only erosion in my esophagus from the acid reflux. Try to be calm and not let your thinking the worst overtake you.
Congratulations on 8 days!

Bunny211

Hey there. I had HORRIBLE reflux when I was drinking. Whenever I go to CVS and use my Extracare card I STILL get coupons for nexium and prilosec. I popped that stuff like candy. When I was drinking I was convinced I was dying. Always. My stomach hurt so bad I just KNEW that my liver was failing. I mean my liver HURT. I couldn't bend over and wash my feet in the shower. Fast forward 9 months and I am sober and healthy. No lasting damage. Stay outta your head. You don't know what the doctors will say. I am praying that you receive good news. You are young so you have that going for you!

Soberwolf

Lean on us Zelda your not alone you will have us I hope that is a comfort

Anna

Zelda, I'm sorry you're going through this. I get easily panicked by health issues too. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

graced333

Hey Zelda - I know of what you speak. Drank straight vodka for over 20 years with a five year sober time in the middle. Sober over 30 days - throat hurt - but now that I've been off benzos (27 year habit! and prescribed) and booze, my body is slowing awakening. Noticing some pains here and there. Dr. and rehab dr. suggested I give it some time. Sober is beautiful. Release the worry, if you can. It's just our AV missing us.....Oh, and also I am 60.

zeldachan

Thanks everyone. Last time I got sober I had a liver scare but they found it was nothing. This time though... The GERD won't go away and my throat has been sore forever! And now these symptoms.... I can't get out of my head.... I have done terrible things to myself. And if I'm going to die at 35.......

I'm in a new city now and don't have AA. Severely thinking of therapy.

zeldachan

I've been reading all night about people my age who developed it from Gerd due to drinking and then died of it!!

FeelingGreat

Best if you don't deliberately seek out scary information Zelda. FYI GERD is extremely common and only a tiny percentage progress to cancer.
Why not use this scare as an opportunity to stop drinking?

Thumpalumpacus

If you're in a city, you have AA. You have to reach out for it, obviously.

Berrybean

I agree - obviously you won't have seen posters for it plastered on billboards (it's anon), but for most of us a nearby AA meeting, and new support network is only a google-search away.

zeldachan

Went back to Aa last night. Didn't speak up during the meeting, but I talked to someone afterwards and they were very helpful.

I guess I either have it or I don't. I'm either going to die or I won't. It's the weirdest thought.

I'm so scared.

Berrybean

Glad you made it to a meeting.

I bet you are scared. (I don't know about you, but the hardest job I tend to have is accepting my fear as it is (which is fairly straightforward to deal with, although very uncomfortable), and not turning it into rage or resentments or whatever, which tend to create problems of their own.)

Did you get some numbers to call while at the meeting? It'll probably help you to use them, and keep posting here. When do you get the results?

*Hug*.