calvin86

Well guys , it's me again , the pathetic little boy who can't seem to quit drinking and went out last night , only to wake up this morning feeling groggy and more than a little upset with myself.Why do I succumb to temptation all the time? I know when I am walking down to the pubs and bars that I am going to hate myself the following morning but I still do it anyway........... What the hell can I do? I tell my friends I am quitting drinking but they've heard it so many times before they don't ( and they have no good reason to ,) believe me. Wish I had a friend in town who wants to quit so we could buddy up and support each other, the only friends I know who need to quit drinking are the ones who have no intention to. Its all just a big confusing mess at the moment.

Dee74

Hi Calvin

I really had to commit to change., My entire life was about drinking and drinkers.
There was no way to keep that life, and stay sober.

I think support's important. If you feel alone in this, and you feel you need support, what about trying something like AA, or another recovery group like SMART or LifeRing?

D

calvin86

There is an AA group in town but I really dont want to go. Very small town , just dont want people to know Ive got a problem.

OldTomato

It's common for us to be put off attending meetings because we're scared we might see someone we recognise. But those people are also there to combat their own drinking, no one's judging you.

Dee74

I didn't want anyone to know I had a problem either - but I was getting poured out of bars night after night, being obnoxious, or lying drunk in the street....

I tried just being sober but that didn't fit with my life as I was living it. Sounds like you have the same issue?

If a face to face support group isn't for you, that's fine - but it makes the changing your life that I spoke about that much harder.

I just used SR...but I was committed to change - I changed my friends (they were all drinking buddies by the end anyway) I changed what I did with my free time and I changed the way I dealt with stress, problems, or boredom.

I reconnected with old friends, I got back into old hobbies or I found new ones.

This is a great link about making a plan tailored to suit your needs. I hope you'll give it a read and give some thought to what a workable plan might mean for you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

doggonecarl

You are going to have to do something to support your decision to quit drinking. If you wont do AA, at least use Sober Recovery. You 16 posts since you joined in Aug. That speaks of your committment, or lack of it.

Lot of changes are required if you want to get sober. Like who you hang with, and where you hang out. You'll have to stay out of the pubs, steer clear of your drinking friends. You can hang out in SR instead.

Mrskw

Try not to beat yourself up about the past Calvin86; focus on the now. There is so much support here and you are not alone in this. Sending postive vibes your way!

calvin86

I bought a couple of books from amazon about quitting . Jason Vales -Kick the Drink Easily , which I read quite quickly and it did help , not as much as I wanted it too but it helped me start to look at it all from a different perspective.

Soberwolf

Good stuff Calvin

LostLilly

The only requirement for AA is 'a desire to stop drinking'. I was scared going to meetings at first but now I am not. It's just a bunch of regular people who want to better their lives and not drink. Maybe you could go one town over if it would make you more comfortable. I was so worried and now I don't care if I see someone I know at a meeting. So what, they want to stop drinking and meet other non drinkers too, big deal.

Lilly

AnonSara

I am sorry to hear about your struggles right now. Things can get better and you don't have to live the way you are. I do have to say, though, when I read that you don't want people to know you have a problem, I had to giggle a little. In my case and many others, seems I might have been the last to figure out I had a problem- people probably already know! Hang in there. Make a plan and stick to it. Keep moving forward.

D122y

C,

The reason you can't quit drinking is you are an addict. Like a meth or crack head....you are an alky.

Addicted to booze.

It is physically and mentally addicting.

If a person drinks the government guidelines of alcohol, they are addicted and will remain addicted. They are in a moderation prison. The govt wants that.

If every adult buys a case of beer, 2 to 4 bottles of wine, or a 1.5 of vodka a week...they government is making nice tax revenues.

Until you have a significant reason to quit...health scare, arrest etc. It is hard to quit.

The longer and harder you drink, the longer and harder it will be to quit.

Alcohol is a government sanctioned toxin. They know it is addictive.

Alcohol keeps the masses tranquil. Whether from staying home drinking, being drunk, or recovering...at least they are not energized and out and about.

Alcohol is a cheap way to go into a fantasy land, where problems fade away.

But, it is damaging your body and brain. When many people decide they need to quit, they are so physically and mentally damaged that they need medical care.

The govt makes money again here too.

The brain damage for me is paranoia. The world was moving too fast. Lights were too bright. People talked too loud. Traffic moved to fast. People snuck up on me etc. It took the better part of 9 months for me to recover to the state of calm I am today. My blood pressure is down from 190.110...to 113.75...my resting pulse was 85...now 65....I lost 30 pounds....my skin is better..I sleep better...I have more energy....

Why...because I quit.

Get clean and stay clean. Don't believe the hype.

The world according to D112y.

loulou1981

How long had u stopped this time?? I'm sorry u feel so rubbish. It must make it harder if u don't have support. Have u got any close friends u could rely on to help u through it!?

chrcarlson

calvin86, I'll bet most that know already know you have a problem. Everyone knew I drank too much-most had seen me do it. Alcoholics Anonymous is anonymous. The only people that know you are there are alcoholics with the same problem. They are usually very welcoming. What are AA people going to say "I saw calvin at AA!" Reply:"Really mate, what were YOU doing there?" Like the folks on this board-been there done that.

"Why do I succumb to temptation all the time?" For me it was a habit, my lifestyle, it's what I do. It's what I know. Until I replaced the habit with something else I continued it. I could go a few days without drink but then, what the heck I've gone a few days I'll have a few.

Change your routine, change your life. Find something other than drinking to do when you normally drink. It will make staying quit soooo much easier.

You are a grown man not a "pathetic little boy." You just a a problem with alcohol, remember that.

calvin86

Wow , thanks guys. :-)

gobletoffire19

My best advice would be to start by telling yourself that bars are off limits no matter what. Even if you go in feeling strong about drinking a soda, it is not worth the risk.

I only drank in bars so I know there is no way I'd be able to go to a bar and be sober there. I don't WANT to go to a bar and not drink. Not to mention that being in a bar would bring back all of the horrible memories of how I acted when I was drunk. Fighting with bartenders and other patrons, falling over, slurring my words, etc. That alone would make me want to drink, to drown out the memories. Bars were part of my old life. I know I have to find other places to socialize. My best advice would be to start by telling yourself that bars are off limits.

calvin86

I think thats the best way. Stayed in tonight and really enjoyed my time reading , playing video games ( Ive eaten a load of junk food but thats not going to give me a hangover in the morning) I feel better now after reading all the responses. Ready now to pick myself up , dust myself off and carry on.

Delfin

I read tons of quit lit when I first got started, Calvin. Can't recommend it enough, especially when your AV starts acting up. Plant a book in front of your face when the pub starts to call!

Delfin

waynetheking

Calvin eventually you'll stop drinking when pain exceeds the pleasure of it. The reason your tempted is because you derive some benefit from it. Guilt in itself will not cause you to quit. Guilt is fleeting.
Step outside the disease and see it for what it is. It's a dead end street. Nothing good will come of it. It will get worse. Always does. You'll destroy your health. You'll loose everything near and dear to yourself. Then it will try to take your life. That's alcoholism. There's nothing tempting about the outcome of this disease. Pubs are only for people who are affected by this disease. If you're an alcoholic then you have no business in there. My suggestion is to quit feeling sorry for your self and see this disease for what it is.