ciowa

I used to binge drink which meant I went for periods of time without drinking. Sometimes I went out to the bar 2 times a week and at others, I might not touch alcohol for up to 3 months because I didn't feel like drinking. Ive come to find out that this type of drinking is still a disorder and makes the addiction get stronger over time. I thought I didn't have a problem because I was not drinking every day.

What I've also found out is that a lot of my emotional struggles during that time , when I wasn't drinking, were due to Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms.

What happened was I eventually began drinking more than one night and this went into the next day and this also became several days. I also moved beyond simple beers at the bars to taking shots and finally just drinking vodka for days because I was desperately trying to avoid the massive hangover and sickness and emotional crash i knew was going to come whenever I stopped.

Also, for me there was a tipping point that I didn't realize I had reached so the addiction progressed very fast and almost out of control. I went from drinking beers the next day to drinking vodka for 4 days in a row in less than a year. Binges were 4 to 6 weeks apart but last much longer and were far more intense and out of control.

I used to think I could control it with different strategies, more exercise, better eating, more sleep and even with a more macho attitude. none of that worked.

Jack465

I'm doing a lot better now than when I started this thread. I had about a year and a half sober starting in January 2016, mostly thanks to the advice I got from this website. I've had a few slips since then, but nothing as bad as before, and I'm sober again now.

Thanks for the posts.

Dee74

Really glad to get an update Jack - I'm glad you're committed to recovery again

D

Jack465

Oh, and I haven't had one of those awful intense cravings that I talked about in the original post for a very long time. I certainly don't miss those!

AAPJ

Jack, nice to hear from you after SoberRican resurrected this old thread. Good to hear that you are doing better.

August252015

Have you decided to be sober - permanently? That's what it takes.

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear it Jack. I too found a lifeline in SR - don't be a stranger.

Jack465

Yeah, I think I have. I had a lot of issues that were causing me to want to drink that I needed to work on, but I think I've fixed most, if not all of them now. So it should be smooth sailing from now on.

Jack465

Thanks for the kind words everyone, and I agree that it would probably be a good idea for me to post here more often, to help try and avoid any more mishaps in the future. But I'm definitely doing better now than when I first came to this site.

Dee74

Hi Jack

I don't want to take away from your achievement at but I gotta say man - but sometimes I was able to fool myself that I was doing better so its ok to stop there?

don't fall for that line if you heard it in your head.

The trouble with that is each and every time I've started doing better, I 'got worse' again.

There is no controlling this thing if you're a drinker like me.

Sometimes I had good luck, or sometimes specific factors helped me stay sober for a little while...new job, new relationship, really bad binge, health fears... btu I always got worse again.

IMO The only real way to deal with a problem like ours - and be sure of success - is to not drink at all, ever.

D

Jack465

Thanks Dee. You're right. I realized after I made those posts above that it probably sounds like I'm trying to leave the door open to drinking, which is obviously not acceptable.

SnazzyDresser

Just because you haven't yet doesn't mean you can't! Far from it. You're working out the kinks in your sobriety, keep working on it. We're all capable of a lot more than we know. Keeping coming back as they say.

And I guarantee you that real sobriety, living completely free from the poison's clutches, is way better than what you have now.

August252015

Look at changing this thinking - because life isn't always smooth sailing, so just because we don't drink it doesn't become that way.

What are going for a recovery program, like the suggestions Dee made?
AA saved my life - and at 3yr9 I still work an active program, go to 4-6 mtgs a week, etc.

Hope you seize this time and keep going, sober and well.