Jack465

I used to drink almost every day and I have only drank 9 times in the last 204 days. But I can't quit completely. After about a month sober, give or take a week, I get the most extreme cravings and I always give in to them. This always happens and I haven't been able to make it past 42 days completely sober.

What can I do about this? I don't want to go and get help because I am embarrassed. The main reason I started drinking is because I was bored and had no other hobbies. And now I have a full blown problem. How ridiculous is that going to sound?

If I have stayed sober 195 times in the last 204 days, why can't I quit completely?

biminiblue

You can quit completely.

That is not a physical/biological craving, that is a mental obsession. Work on ways to distract yourself away from the thoughts of drinking. That's all it is at that point, a thought. It has no power over you unless you give it power. Detach from the thought. I used to say, "Hm. A drinking thought again. Well, I don't drink."

Six months is a tough time. I hadn't completely healed physically and I didn't have complete control over my anxiety. It got markedly better for me at about a year and now I rarely have any thoughts about drinking.

Jump into action --a walk, a movie, call a friend, clean the bathroom, wash the car, whatever it takes to change your thoughts. Write a limerick, do some Sudoku.

Dee74

Jack hear me out on this - it's absolutely untrue that you can't stop completely or that you only have one option when you crave/obsess.

If you need more support, or need to better use the support you have, do that.

If you're embarrassed to seek help try and work out why that is. Embarrassment is not a useful response if it's stopping you from getting to where you want to be.

If you need to make changes in your life to better reflect your desire to be sober, so that too.

and make a recovery plan - think about those times when you get those extreme cravings - what other things might you do but drink on them?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

waynetheking

Jack its been my experience that alcoholism only gets worse. Develop hobbies. Get a support group. Just quit. Drinking is just a waste of time. Eventually it turns on ya. Don't be embarrassed. Seek meaningful recovery.

NoelleR

I've known folks in real life who have said just that (they can't quit completely), and my response has always been, "Well, of course you can't; not with that attitude and/or belief."

So, to answer your question, "Why can't I quit completely?" Perhaps it's because you haven't given yourself permission to....quit completely.........something to think about, anyway.

(o:

gaffo

Keep trying!

sleepie

Go for help. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people of all backgrounds and levels of achievement, social status and income fall prey to addiction. It happens. Do yourself a favor, get out of your comfort zone and beat this thing. I trust that you can.

least

Of course you can quit completely. But you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.

ubntubnt

There an undercurrent in your post that somehow your current situation is acceptably....]only drinking X many out of X days.

I don't think this is the right way to look at it.

Due to the progressive nature of the disease sooner or later you will be drinking almost every day again. So really its an "all or nothing" situation. Only drinking X days is pretty much irrelevant in the longer term. Because you will either be sober or drinking yourself to death.

stevepearce

Exactly !

endlesspatience

Jack, I totally feel for you my friend. I have a similar problem to you in that I can go for long dry periods but then tend to pick up again. So I'm glad you posted so that I can hear other people's helpful perspective on this. I am sure we have more chance of stopping completely if we stick together on this one.

bullmas

Jack465
Try the 15 minute brain reset timeout theory :
Desire and cravings generally peak for about 10 minutes,

( painfully strong but temporary )

When this craving happens give yourself 15 minutes ,for mental re-adjustment
I quit smoking nicotine this way. I'm trying this for my drinking as well.

cheers

Jack465

I'm pretty new to this so I'll take your word for it, but can I just say that it definitely feels like my body is telling me to drink.

ubntubnt

well, when you have a craving are their physical symptoms like shaking, sweating, headaches etc? Given your drinking frequency I would say this is extremely unlikely. Therefore the craving is mental not physical. I think techniques like urge surfing and AVRT will be useful for you to read up on and give them a try.

Jack465

I do feel dizzy and nauseous when I get the cravings.

Hawkeye13

The ten minute "peak" thing really seems to be true.
I find some light exercise and / or a few spoonfuls of ice cream
are usually enough to get me through those intense times.

As you "win" each round, you get stronger and it gets easier.

You "recondition" your body and brain to have a different response.
This can be done if you really stick to it and don't give in.

Good luck Jack!
Drinking "just a little" is actually harder and feels far worse than totally quitting.
At least I have found it so. . .

biminiblue

Dizziness and nausea can be coming from anxiety, too. With anxiety, increased heart rate and that fight or flight response kicks in, and adrenalin is released. All that feels a bit overwhelming. In early sobriety, my fight or flight response was turned up too high.

I found physical sensations of anxiety to be really common in early sobriety, all the way up to almost a year of continuous sobriety. Can you look at what is going on at the moment you have a "craving?" I was easily spooked in early days, normal everyday stuff would nearly panic me. It continued to get better as I continued to heal, but I had done some damage to my central nervous system and brain that needed to heal.

When I was drinking and had anxiety, I "treated" it with alcohol. So of course I made that connection with the two.

Next time you have this happen, look at what is going on in your day that is making you uncomfortable. Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? (HALT)

There are ways to deal with situations that don't involve alcohol. I just used alcohol as a bandaid
for . . .everything.

Keep it going, it gets easier.

ALinNS

Jack, Here is what I think based on my experience, reading and meetings and how I think, you may very well be different.

Anyone can quit if they truly want a better life, honestly it's that simple. If I can quit anyone can, I won't get into war stories but trust that statement.

It gets worse a lot worse. Sometimes we pick up where we left off, I know once after 2+ years of sobriety I didn't pick up where I left off it was like I had never stopped and that one in March of last year almost took my life, this sickness progress's and its ultimate goal is your life.

The problem with moderation, stopping for a few weeks or months to me is quite simple, I am empowering this addictive voice we have (AV), it will say hey Jack, remember six months ago you had a few drinks? It's been a great day and you deserve a reward, have a drink. Or you have a bad day, Jack lets bury this for today, you do not want to have to think about this right now, have a drink.

And off one goes unless they say no and anyone can say and mean NO, Reach out to this forum, go to a meeting, go for a walk, visit a friend who doesn't drink, we all went to any length to get our booze, why do we not always go to all lengths to stay sober? It's a question I asked myself on December 11th, I haven't touched a drink or craved since and I was at the end at that point, shocked at how much I was consuming in a day, in many cases enough to give the average person alcohol poisoning no question.

It used to be also with me my AV would say Andrew it's just beer, alcoholics only drink the hard stuff, I honestly believed that because I didn't know boy was that wrong.

All the best

Andrew

ScottFromWI

Do you see the contradiction in your statement above? It would be equivalent to saying: "I have a broken leg, what can I do about it? I don't want to go to the hospital though because I'm embarassed".

And it's not going to "sound ridiculous" to anyone here or anyone you might seek help from ( like a doctor, a counselor, a recovery meeting, etc ).

The key for me was first accepting that I have a problem, and then seeking help for it in earnest. It doesn't matter if you call yourself an alcoholic or not, and it doesn't matter if the cravings are physical/psychological or both. The way to get better is to accept the problem and find a plan to fix it. You'll find a ton of support and understanding here and also information about many of the recovery methods/plans that people use. One of them or multiple will certainly work for you if you make the committment to quit for good.

SoberRican

Yes you can do this my friend. I promise you you arent missing s$#t by not boozing. Hang them gloves up . Surrender.....completely. You wont regret it. ✌