zjw

another issue i've had for a while now is leaving the house. I dont have much of a desire to go anywhere and its usually met with anxiety anyhow.

its concerning me as I dont even want to leave the house to go for a run and end up on the treadmill. I have lots of reasons why oh i'm into a tv show or the routes i could run are boring me etc.. But i'm also met with anxiety about people seeing me. I know its dumb because i've been running for years anyone whos gonna see me has seen me a 120932109321 times running around here. But I still get this anxiet about just leaving the front door.

how does one combat this? just take the plunge and go ? thats what I've been doing. Its like jumping into a pool of icey water when i walk out my front door. But I'm not sure how else to cope I'm not even sure why this is happening to me. I keep blaming social anxiety or like i'm isolating or something.

If i havent left my house for a week or so I try and force myself out. dont feel depressed or anything but I do know that sometimes i'm very depressed and I dont even realize it so I dont want to rule out depression tho I dont think thats the case.

ScottFromWI

I know you don't want to hear this, but i'd suggest seeing a therapist. Anxiety is a very real problem, but it's also very treatable. And one of the symptoms of Anxiety progressing is wanting to stay home all the time. Believe me, I've been there.

Dee74

I vote for some therapy too.
It's not something to brush off.

It's a very real and particularly nasty form of anxiety and depression.

D

bullmas

I have recently been called antisocial, and I'd like to set the record straight. I am not antisocial, I like social. It's people I don't like!”
― Greg Curtis

zjw

Only dont really feel depressed. Thats the kicker. Its more like Ugg i dont wanna go out there. Then i just get settled into a routine of not leaving the house very often once a week maybe.

the kicker too I'm trying to put my finger on is it anxiety about the up coming run? I do have to talk myself into my daily excercise while I make it look easy it isnt always easy to get out and do it. Or is there something deeper going on etc..

maybe I'm making much ado about nothing too I dunno. Its just something I"ve noticed for the last few months and 'm like gosh why is this suddenly a difficult thing for me.

Lucky for me my treadmill is broken so I'll be getting out more weather I like it or not.

paddyjnr1

I've been feeling that way too but definitely therapy is the way to go, or what i found very helpful was a book by " feel the fear and do it anyway" by susan jeffers. Bring the body and the mind will follow. I feel your pain as I still struggle but I'm still in early recovery so that may have a lot to do with it.
Some days I just stay in my bedroom all day even afraid to open the door if someone calls. Sounds like anxiety to me which i suffer very badly with at the moment.

v0da12

I have been the same since 3 years ago not having any desire to leave my house because of depression and anxiety and not seeing any point of excercising etc because a lot of negative **** happend in my life and probably the reason i started medicating with alcohol in the first place. However once you get into regular routine like all normal people, working, going out, having fun you won't even have the desire to stay at home for long, where if you keep staying locked up you fall into some depressive mood and the thought of going out and doing stuff just makes you feel anxious and you look at it as an undesirable option.

It's all about getting outside and doing stuff. When i went back to my home country where all my family is and friends i was constantly out and i felt like my normal me was coming back, felt healthy, felt extremely good and didn't drink that much either. Now that i am back in **** land for various reasons i am again locked up here, nothing to do, no friends and drinking every day listening to music, feeling super unhealthy and kind of ill cause of way i live and more depressed and anxious then ever.

Delfin

I've had what you describe. It was very difficult for me to identify it as depression because I didn't really feel down. At least not all the time. It was more like malaise, lethargy, and lots of anxiety around specific things. One thing my doctor pointed out to me that was helpful to know is that anxiety and depression are two sides of the same coin. That's why they often travel together. I didn't get therapy but I did see my doctor and got on medications, which I'm off of now. Definitely talk to your doctor and get some recommendations.

Delfin

Wholesome

I'm a bit of a homebody myself. I get out to work and to run my errands and I'm social when I want to be or occasionally if I have to be! lol like obligatory family functions or what not. What I find is that sometimes I have to force myself to leave my comfort zone, not cuz I'm depressed, just cuz I'm too comfortable.

But I'm always happy that I did it! I get it. It's easy to just stay chilly. I'm the Queen of procrasnination! Like right now I'm on this crappy shift 7pm till midnight. So I get home and I don't want to go to sleep right away (why I'm on here chatting right now) so I go to sleep around 2. I have to get up in the morning to usher the kiddies out the door to school in the morning. This morning I did that and then thought I'll go back to sleep for a few hours but that's all cuz I have errands to run and things to do...... I slept till 2pm! Woke up not even knowing where I was or what was going on! I still feel a little guilty for dreaming the whole day away and now I still have to do all those things I didn't do, but ah they will get done.

I love being at home in the house that I have created for myself. I have no problem enjoying my own company. However I do find that I can get stuck in a place where I have to force myself to leave it..... the maybe tomorrow can lead into maybe next week! BUT I'm always happy when I do in fact make myself venture outside into the wide open air with the sun beating down on me and all those other happy people busy people out there doing things and being people!

Side note. I think that none of us can ever really live without knowing about "the sadness." You haven't really lived or learned without carrying around some kind of heartbreak or dissatisfaction or let down of one kind or another. Settling. That's adulthood. Everyone is damaged in their own way.

Anyhoo I'm rambling..... off to bed with me!

Dee74

I really try to spread the idea (especially with guys) that depression is not always head in hands crying.

Depression has actually been a whole range of things for me..everything from sadness to a kind of apathy and everything in between.

Only you know if it's really a problem or not, and whether you want to do something about it I guess, zjw

bigsombrero

Maybe this is where your recent craving for weed is coming from, zjw? You sit around the house all day....it gets boring. Of course there's a part of you looking to "liven up" that time inside the house and that's where the weed thoughts came in. As you can imagine, that would only make things worse and you'd be more housebound than ever.

I had this problem the first year of sobriety (craving weed and having trouble getting out and about). I had even had anxiety attacks in the past and it was really hard for me to trust the outside world.

I'd start by just taking walks around the block a couple of times per day. It sounds crazy but it works. Take an ordinary wall calendar, and write down what you did each day on that calendar when the day is over. Make sure there's something written each day in regards to getting outside! "Checked e-mail" doesn't count, but "walked to mailbox" does. Get it?

Finally, maybe see a doctor. It took me a while to find the courage, but it worked for me - no benzos, no booze, just some non-addictive medication did the trick. You need to get your confidence back. Recognizing your problem with alcohol and dealing with those demons can be a major blow to your self esteem. Stay the course, you will come roaring back. Don't let these hiccups throw you off course.

zjw

there was black ice all over the roads today and my treadmill is broken AGAIN. I've had a lot of pain that is being caused by that treadmill when it runs welll i do ok but the deck board gets torched way to fast. ANYHOW i've been shopping high end treadmills for a while or debaing a gym membership to go use theres.

Today i took the plunge and got a gym membership. I was pressed for time but was able to get a quick 6 mile run in it was absolutly great! there machine is way better then mine. and it GOT ME OUT OF THE HOUSE!

so who knows maybe i'll meet people too. I'm hoping this is just what i need and I'm pretty sure i'm gonna go back again tonight to get some more miles in.

and sunday looks like bad weather too and well if there machine is gonna be nice on my joints and pain i might be nt here tommorrow too!

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a great step in the right direction, literally and figuratively! Glad you had a positive experience and yes, you could definitely make some social connections there as well.

Anna

That sounds like a positive step zjw.

I would just add that I agree with what Dee said about depression. I used to think that depression meant lying in bed all day, unable to move and it doesn't. I functioned, I had children, I worked and all of that, but there was no peace or joy in my life. Everything was a chore. Thankfully, a dr finally helped me figure out what was wrong.

zjw

already been up there twice now today. ran at lunch and then after work.

Yea i dont want to rule out depression because its been my expierence that depression sneaks up on me. Its like I'll be going along and then the next thing i know i'm in the pit of hell again and no idea how i got there.

Mostly with depression these days tho its kind of a fleeting feeling. at best I might have a down day but I usually dont sink low like that for that long anymore.

That being said I have this fear that if im not careful I'll just quickly back slide etc... Like if i dont keep making positive choices and such I'll just promptly sink nto the proverbial crap pit. I dont know if its normal to feel that way or not.