Alphonse

I suppose the middle one ....

But really, it took a short while to get out of the fog of alcoholism. It is odd in that the day before I quit, I couldn't imagine ever quitting or life without booze. Now over a week later, I can't completely figure out why I didn't quit sooner. It was likely aforementioned fog, combined with old happens and a lot of other things. I really wish I did quit much, much sooner. There is no changing the past, but the sure as heck is a changing the future and that is what I'm doing now.

Mountainmanbob

I also wish that at times
but, it took what it took
and hopefully our past
will keep reminding us not to ever drink again.

I (had) my run with the liquid devil.

Mountainman

freshstart57

I like to take this idea and flip it. We aren't talking about how long we were drunks, we are talking about the end of our drunkeness. The drinking was prison, yes, but the recovery is freedom. So here's the question - is the guy released yesterday any more free than the one who finished his sentence a year ago? If you have quit drinking for good, are you any less quittier than the guy who quit last year?

Another way to look at it.

Dee74

Using that metaphor I reckon with each year I get a little better at staying out of jail



D

Mountainmanbob

Yes Dee and up here on the mountain I can also use that as a type of measurement. It seemed that while drinking (most of my life) I could never go too long before making a jail visit. Now my sober mind still thinks about some stupid things at times but, I don't act out on them in sobriety. Thank you God.

MB

Aellyce

I don't usually like to get into debates where we are supposed to choose one stance over the other in this as I can easily see the value and truth in both. But the way it's been phrased in the poll made me think of the gigantic difference I feel as a result of progression in my sobriety, in pretty much every area of life. Thinking that my day 1 (or even day 100) was similar in quality to nearly 2 years now, to me, could only happen if all the progress from personal issues to practical aspects of my life did not happen... I feel for me it would be a big denial not sensing and experiencing the difference. But in terms of strictly just not drinking (staying sober), yeah it's done every single day. But even in that I don't experience the challenges of early sobriety at all now in terms of it being a struggle as it's far from a struggle. I see it often said by others as well that sobriety becomes effortless with time, our normal way of being, and that is how I feel as well. In the beginning, I had all kinds of struggles for quite a while that no longer exist at all. This gives me personally a difficult time viewing every day in sobriety as equivalent. Like others said though, I also think it's helpful in early sobriety to just focus on the moment in this regard otherwise it easily gets overwhelming and then the anxiety can lead to a relapse.

Gottalife

Due to working the steps and having a life changing spiritual experience as the result, I am a completely different person to the lost soul that came into AA. So I have to vote with the middle one, though time isn't everything. I know one or two with long time up who still suffer like they did when they first came in.

One day at a time, or just for today in the context of not drinking, is a useful strategy in the early days when we are hanging on through will power, waiting for the program to kick in. Quite a few in the fellowship have adopted the longer term practice of staying sober one day at a time, but tomorrow I might drink, who knows, no guarantees.

That is different to the program which is about permanent recovery and teaches us to live life one day at a time. The only thing the program says about not drinking is "we assume the reader wants to stop". It doesn't say anything about not drinking one day at a time.

Mountainmanbob

Although we see those little "One Day At A Time" signs hanging in many meeting places. Not sure where that all started ?

MB

Sizzle

One good piece of information I heard in the meetings was - after you've reached day 100, you should stop counting the days. For me, this made sense and at day 132, I no longer count the individual days. For others, though, they still might want to count the individual days. We all have our own methods that we integrate for our sobriety.

NoelleR

Absolutely, Mike; it also says "if you want to quit drinking for good and all;" which to me means forever.

The "one day at a time" comes from the serenity where it says "living one day at a time."

(o:

Mountainmanbob

We were talking about this yesterday at the meeting before the AA meeting.
I threw this line out there --

"If you don't think that time sober means anything, then try getting some."

Although not a message that many wish to hear, most did agree.

In my first few months of sobriety I was in such a deep fog
that it would have been easy to fool myself into doing something stupid.
It was a smart move back then, hanging out with my Sponsor most every day.

With more time sober I realized what a precious gift sobriety was.
Then we gather our "sober tool belt" and protect that gift.

MB

Soberpotamus

I see the truth in both statements, Bob. And I think that the ODAAT approach can be very useful to some, and can be useful when used strategically in some moments (strong urges, bad days, etc.).

We only truly have this moment, this day, this instance in which to live. However, I must say that as I get more and more sober time and continue to experience life events and circumstances as a sober person, my retrospective glance back tells me I'm quite fortunate to have quit drinking when I did. I will do anything to stay sober now. The emotional and cognitive healing that's taken place has been significant, and I don't think I could've grasped the significance or appreciated that early on. I had no way of knowing things would be this much better.

gaffo

I don't want to say or imply anything that will discourage someone who is in early sobriety or just considering it. They need all the help they can get and my ego is fine without looking down my nose at anyone. That said, the longer my sobriety gets (4+ years, yay!) the easier it gets and the more I am able to appreciate it in a relaxed and productive manner. I give thanks every day that I don't have to battle demons all the time anymore.

Mountainmanbob

At times I was running with the devil and didn't even realize it.

Today while sober it is something to be aware of.

Still tempted at times - but - not acting out.

MB

Ken33xx

Yeah, I still see the liquor bottles while at the supermarket and notice the airport bar when flying.

But I doubt this will ever change and I`m good with that.

LeeJane

The longer I am without that poison in my body, the more my body and mind can heal and I can work my program.

I am about five years quit now, with the benefit of the clear head I now have, I can see I remained extremely mentally unwell and insane for the first year or two without alcohol.

CousinA

I've been doing some work in bars and restaurants. I don't want it but I know it's there.

-allan

CousinA

I celebrated an anniversary last month so this thread is kind of timely (sorry, I couldn't resist). The longer I've stayed sober the more I've experienced what life brings. The "good and the bad". I wouldn't have had that opportunity if I hadn't gotten sober. It took a lot of work and time for my life to be what it is today.

I believe the positive effects of what we do is cumulative but it's like going to the gym. When I work out, be it physically, spiritually or mentally it's all good, but I lose it if I stop. I live my life a day at a time, because that's all I've got - If I believe what the Buddha said, my lifespan is as long as my next outbreath, but my intention is this is it.

Getting back to the time thing, I'm spending the day with my best friend of almost 30 years. I met her answering phone at Intergroup. On Tuesday I had dinner with three friends who I've known more or less the same time. I haven't seen one of them in about 20 years since he moved to South America and we just kind of picked up where we left off back when. In a couple of weeks I'm getting together with a few other guys from back in the day. For me, those relationships are some of the gifts of sober time.

-allan

-allan

Recovery999

Both. We all only have one day sober, really. Still, I've been through a lot of BS sober and I'm proud that I made it this far. But I would never say that to a newcomer.

Mountainmanbob

It's easier going through some stress today with some time under my belt