Ken33xx

Yeah, I`ve known a number of members like that over the years. Generally nice people but I can do without the AA speak and platitudes. I like to hear what`s really going on.

Fly N Buy

pg 164

Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book." We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

May God bless you and keep you - until then.


SR is a branch of the Road of Happy Destiny I have found......

MIRecovery

SR is no different than AA. There is a lot of good advice and a lot of bad, I am a hard core AAer but at the same time I do not believe AA is the only way. Bill Wilson was a seeker and traditional AA was a very small part of his journey which included various, religious, physiological, pharmaceutical pursuits including LSD.

In support of your sponsor's opinion AA has a proven method and I would get solidly sober before I ventured too far outside of the big book and your sponsors suggestions. That is not to say there is not a large amount of great recovery by people here who have never been to an AA meeting.

As time has gone on I have incorporated various non-AA approaches into my program of recovery while still using AA as my primary method of being happy, joyous and free in sobriety

Aellyce

If he brings this up next time, I would ask (if for nothing else, out of curiosity) what exactly his specific concerns / reservations are about the SR board. If he has looked at it or used it at all so that could have an educated opinion. Other than that, with him I would focus on AA and the step work. If you honestly feel that there is even a tiny benefit in your using SR sometimes (I think some people tend to get hooked on it too much, myself included in the past, for example) and nothing that hinders your recovery, I would not bother about it. Just listen to what he has to say open-mindedly (especially given that your intense involvement in AA made a very significant difference in your recovery and SR alone did not achieve that in the past), thank him for the advice, and proceed with the AA work and what you feel is helping. Speaking of which, I remember your long-term struggles and that doing things your own way and on your own terms was not too effective, so I would always keep the good counsel in mind. Sounds like you are doing well Of course it's a long process.

stevieg46

I would suggest that he keeps an open mind , ''mind is like a parachute ,it only functions when its open '' inform him its part of your recovery toolkit , Bill W said ''lets be friends with our friends '' SR can be another string to your bow . take care .

Stevie .
sober 12 03 2006 .

Mountainmanbob

I attend a lot of AA meetings and have a Big Book thumper for a sponsor. He is strictly Big Book (that's actually his nick name) and he also is not a fan of anything other than AA. I have told him often that is a shame because he could help many more here on this site than he does in AA.

For me in my sobriety AA is part time
this site is next to full time.
I come here numerous times each and every day.
This is the greatest of places to stay fresh in our sobriety.

aasharon90

I was always grateful that my sponsor
never told me what to do but gave me
workable suggestions to guide me in
my own recovery.

Folks in recovery can share their own
ESH- experiences, strengths and hopes
with me, but it is ultimately my own
choice, decision on how to take suggestions,
tools, knowledge of recovery and incorperate
them in my own life's affairs.

Many awesome folks just like me living
life with a recovery program as a guide
line paved a path to follow at my own
pace and balance in my own life. Not
their life but my own.

No 2 people live the same life style.
My sponsor, married, worked, obligations,
no kids, sobriety committed, a little
different from my own who was married,
kids, family and also sobriety, recovery
committed.

She passed on effective recovery tools
that were taught to her on to me and
kept our friendship, sponsorship, simple
enough for me to follow.

Over the years I continue to use all that
was taught to me to live my recovery life,
however, I have never replaced my original
one and only sponsor. She is where I can
call her if I ever need her even if I don't talk
to her. I just know deep within that she would
always be available to me if I need her because
she is was and still is the very person I wanted
to be like in recovery.

Today, I use whatever recovery tools
I need or want to continue to help me
live my recovery life to the best of my
sober ability. We can never learn too
much to better ourselves to live healthy,
happy and honest.

My recovery life belongs to me and I
will do whatever I need to keep its
foundation strong to live upon for yrs
to come. I will not allow anyone to dictate
it for me or mess with it.

It's one of many precious gifts I treasure
holding it close to me as it continue to
bless me with more surprises than I can
possibly imagine.

We do whatever we need to do to
keep what we got. Happiness, joy,
freedom in recovery.

Justincredible

My sponsor is a great person but not perfect. I listen to most suggestions and follow them, but I believe you don't have to do everything your sponsor says. If my visiting SR was an issue with my sponsor I wouldn't fire her over it, I would just agree to disagree on it and move forward. If your sponsor can't get over it then there might be a control issue though.

In my opinion SR is super valuable in my recovery and just strengthens me along with AA and everything else in my program of recovery.

oldsoul1122

My sponsor encourages growth and shares books he's read etc. and suggestions, not controlling. I turned my life and will over to the care of God. Thy will be done not my sponsors. I'm learning to rely on my intuition and trust it's guiding me on a path where I will enhance my spiritual growth and recovery.

Sizzle

This site is like most things in life - enjoy in moderation. I don't spend multiple hours here on each day. I just stop in and see if there's someone who might need some advice and then I read a bit of the recovery of others in that it could help me in my recovery. It's all part of the big picture.

Music

Interesting! I've been coming here for some time now. In general , I don't give advice although at times what I say may come off that way. I was told early on that a sponsor gives suggestions, based on his own experience, strength and hope. A sponsor doesn't comment on subjects outside his realm of experience and education and is not a tyrant or a controller. I've always paid attention to my own feelings when dealing with people I sponsor. If I get upset or angry, jealous or threatened, it's probably because my pigeon isn't doing what I told him to do and at that point, I need to check my own motives. Anything I've ever heard here that I think may be useful, I have always talked over with my sponsor to get a second opinion. I was told to Keep It Simple Stupid so I keep that in mind when I hear or see things so as not to confuse my own thoughts and actions. If my sponsor got upset because I came to this site, I'd try to find out why he was upset and go from there. I'd never suggest that you or anyone else dump a sponsor without being totally honest with that sponsor. If I'm not being totally honest with my sponsor, the question is why not and what am I going to do about it?

bradly22

How odd. I'm not sure why he would take issue with it. Strange.

Mountainmanbob

My sponsor and I don't see eye to eye on everything but, I respect most of his views and (usually) take them into account. If he told me not to use this site, I in no way would take his advice on that matter. Fact is, sponsors are not perfect and don't know everything. Some may be confused at times and think that they do.

Mountainman

Db1105

I suggest you read AA's pamphlet 'Questions and Answers on Sponsorship'. You can read it online here:
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
I also suggest that you have your sponsor read it.

There are many sponsors who don't understand what sponsorship is about within the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. When I first got sober, I had to do what I had to do to get sober, including finding a new sponsor. Three times. As I cleared up, they were not what I thought they were when I first asked them to sponsor me.

Step12

As long as you stay sober. The reason I say that is cause your sponsor really can't be there 24 seven but websites can. Just be careful and think about what you read if you think something is controversial or you don't understand talk to your sponsor about it

KAD

Thanks, everyone, for your input! I really don't feel like I come to SR often enough to put too fine a point on it with my sponsor. I think today may the most I've posted here in months! I get along OK with him for the most part, and also talk to others who have long-term sobriety in my AA groups. I find some of those people here, as well. Some use AA, some don't. I've found what is working for me and am careful enough to recognize ideas or topics that might conflict with what works, or distract me from it. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I have about 7 1/2 months sobriety as of this week, but I know better than to become overly confident or complacent. I like this site, but still get the most from 3D interaction. I find value in both.

Gottalife

Unless your are out of range, there is a power cut, the web crashes, the site is down, your battery is flat, you are out of data.....

The premise of AAs program of recovery is that there is One who has all power, the God of your understanding, and that is what will provide a 24/7 defense against the first drink. (other than being locked up). The steps are the path to that Power.

Step12

I agree

Step12

Step three

Music

Here's the deal with anything online. I'd like to think that the person I'm talking to is the real deal and is being honest and straight with me. That's not always the case! Even f2f meetings or discussions are, or should be subject to scrutiny when dealing with an illness or a problem that can kill me, so that's why I say to get a second opinion and who better to get a second opinion from than my sponsor. Assuming I've been honest with my sponsor, he should know me better than anyone else. Skepticism is a good thing. It causes me to ask questions of people including my sponsor and IMO, anyone who gets upset with someone who asks questions, should be suspect. I've had a sponsor since day one. Thank God I've been fortunate to have sponsors who gave me suggestions, not advice. My first sponsor told me not to try to work his program because it might get me drunk. Took me a while to figure that one out 'cause my first thought was 'if we're all working the 12 steps, how can that get me drunk?' The answer is: NOT ONE OF US WORKS THE 12 STEPS THE EXACT SAME WAY!! I had to find the way that works for me.