UKstudent

Hi everyone,
if you take the time to read this, thanks in advance.

I'm currently living in Belgium on a university exchange from the UK and I'm finding it really difficult.
It's a compulsory part of my course and they offer various financial aids to support me while I'm here, except the host university has made an insane amount of mistakes and I've been left incredibly low on money for about 4 weeks now.
I've found it all stressful and isolating and have allowed myself to be weak and been drinking again (i know, i wish i had been stronger)

I was considering leaving at christmas but that would have a big effect on my overall university degree and possibly even mean I leave with nothing.

I just feel really alone and I'm also bothered by the fact that I developed feelings for someone in the UK right before I left, which was terrible timing I suppose, and have to try to not focus on that.

I don't know, just feeling emotionally pretty confused right now. Also quite angry at myself for going back to alcohol when I was proud and pleased with myself for staying away from it and really proved to myself that I can do it.

Dee74

Hi UKstudent

I remember how hard it was to live as a student - but spending money on booze just makes your bank balance even more depleted and the fear worse, doesn't it?

I assume you've contacted both your home and your host universities about this - Is there any way you could earn some extra money until things get sorted?

D

Soberwolf

D is right Student when I was 18 I was living & working in Greece on my own no family no friends so I get it but I made a point of trying to learn culture & the language I wasn't too bad in the end

How long are you out there for UKS

Sizzle

Like you, I've tried for many years to empty my head. However, I've realized this isn't truly possible. I've read 3 books on meditation over the past month. Each one pointed out that the objective wasn't to suppress such thoughts, but to think about them briefly, then focus back on our breathing. I realize suggesting meditation is a bit of a leap. However, from my experience, it has made my life (and my sobriety) much more bearable.

For years, I tried my hardest to suppress certain thoughts - and it was impossible. I've found that through meditation, I can deal with them in a bit more realistic manner. Does this ensure 100% success? Not necessarily. However, it's been effective at quieting the thoughts so they are not as bothersome to me and they are less likely to take over control of my life today like they once would have in the past.

Best of luck to you!

UKstudent

I'm here for 10 months in total - I'm already pretty well immersed in the local culture, Belgium has 2 national languages and I speak both, and I'm a member of the national library so that I have access to texts and resources that I need for my final paper when I return to the UK,
but I just feel lost and lonely, - mostly because such issues have come with me, because they're current part of me, I don't know.. just an endless cycle of confusion and anger and sadness which I numb with drink! - i do know I shouldn't!

ChiefBromden

A bit of a long shot, but I do know that both VUB and ULB have a social service where you can a) ask for help with finances, b) get info on part time student jobs and c) get some counselling and/or contacts for AA or secular equivalents. Even if you are not at those exact places, your host uni probably has an equivalent service. Maybe give it a try?

fini

UKStudent,

it may seem to you that you have proven to yourself you can stay away from drinking, but since you're now drinking again, the view from here is very different.

have allowed myself to be weak and been drinking again (i know, i wish i had been stronger)


i, too, used to think it was all a matter of strength and weakness, and battyled with myself for years.
it seems that yeah, you'll need some "strength", but what's more useful is action that supports any decision you've made to pursue a way of achieving lasting sobriety.
as you know from reading here, different people use different paths, yet one common denominator seems to be action and a plan.

Dropsie

UK,

I also live in Belgium -- will PM you.

Hang in.

Chris44

Be proud of what you've previously done regarding it all, and try not to beat yourself up too much. There's always a fresh start the next day.

Soberwolf

Make a point of logging in daily it helps that much

Before I found SR I was 12/13 months sober I'm now 28 months sober that's how much SR helps me on a daily basis