Misc72

My husband and I had almost 2 years sober. We talked about drinking again very logically and peacefully. We made all these rules and regulations and quickly broke them all. Sobriety was good but life became so boring and predictable. Life drinking sucks too. Hangovers are the worse. I am not happy sober and I am not happy drinking. Just feel like a loser. RR AVRT kept me sober for almost 2 years and then we had a huge falling out with his parents and that was the ultimate decision to entertain drinking again.

kittycat3

Are you sober again now sunshine?

Misc72

For now I am. I wish it wasn't an issue for me or at least I wish I didn't know so much about addiction so then I could live blissfully ignorant in a state of denial.

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear you are sober again Sunshine. Whatever problems we have, they are much more manageable without having alcohol to make it all worse.

I thought life sober sucked too at first, but then I realized that it was because I wasn't facing the challenges I had and I was still lookig to somehow escape them. For me it was anxiety for the most part, but I found a way to deal with it that I would never have found while drinking.

SR can help you find resources to deal with many of the issue you might face, not to mention help with your continued sobriety. If you could change anything about your life to make it better what would you do?

Misc72

Scott if I could change something in my life it would be to have never have taken the first drink. Otherwise things are great. Own a successful business have an honors high schooler a devoted husband and my health. So much more to be thankful for as well.

Gottalife

Do you want to be sober? It might seem a silly question but I was once in that spot where both drinking and sobriety were miserable. I don't know if I ever reached a point where I wanted to be sober. Instead I reached a spot where I just wanted the misery to stop, and I was willing to try anything to achieve that.

What are you willing to do?

ScottFromWI

Well, we cannot undo the past, but you can choose to not drink today of course....that can solve a lot of problems in itself!

Friend Of Bill

Being sober. Does Suck sober means not drunk being in recovery is fun you can take the sober test on page 52 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous second paragraph if you answer yes to any one of those questions may be a good idea to take the 12 steps out of that book I mean if it's not broke don't fix it we all coholic complicate the hell out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich clear-cut directions given showing how we have recovered which means to return to health from sickness The Fellowship of AA is wonderful the program of AA is amazing the program is the 12 steps one alcoholic helping another is where its at we're the only people that can help each other I'm glad you're sober and I hope the best I know that an alcoholic and an addict like me who tried every imaginable way believed every lie that I could do it myself I could manage myself the denial the insanity I thinking it would be different this time it wasn't until I realized that was a physical allergy and a mental obsession once I started the phenomenon of craving was too much I needed that psychic change and I found it through the book Alcoholics Anonymous a sponsor and a homegroup I had to concede the fact I needed help I couldn't do it myself and I asked for help I had to be ready I had to hit bottom they say you hit bottom when you stop digging I had a hard head though you'd stop digging I borrow the shovel it took me 9 years in and out doing it my way jail prison losing everything 7 different times to finally throw my hands up and say help once I quit comparing myself and identified there was nothing left for me to do but get down to business give the steps an honest try out of the book if they didn't work they didn't work but guess what they did and always will and for that I'm happy best wishes to you I'm new to this thing I don't know what a thread means I don't even do Facebook I just find certain things and respond and I don't know who sees them and I'm not here to hurt anyone's feelings I just don't candy coat anything I'm not going to carry anyone around on a silk pillow and pat them on the back and say it's going to be ok are you an alcoholic is life a mess you want to get down to business let's work the steps

Grungehead

The authors of the Big Book explained this phenomena that faces many alcoholics in the chapter "A Vision for You".

Alcoholics Anonymous pp 151-152

I have reached this point several times in my life while sober. Each time I went back to drinking, and each time I found a lower bottom. I reached the jumping-off place and wished for the end at my last bottom. This time I had to do more than just remove the alcohol in order to be happy and contented in sobriety, I actually had to change my entire outlook on life.

doggonecarl

Life? Or your outlook towards it?

fini

sunshine,
sorry to hear you went back there.
i was sober for 4 years before it became obvious to me that i wasn't "happy". at that point, i started to get a sense of what people meant when they said that drinking had been "our solution" ; i started to see i had no real solution.
from that point on, i saw some of the options of how to make deeper changes than just not drinking.

sounds like you're somewhat at that point.
good to see you assessing where you're at.

oak

I can see how it would be easy to logically decide to start drinking again and think you can set limits, especially with your partner. Relapsing can seem so logical.

I can relate to what you wrote. There was a time when I wished I could drink in denial.

I love being sober. But I definitely have ups and downs. Therapy has helped me to heal past trauma and be reasonably happy. I used to just think that I was born unhappy; now, that idea seems impossible.

Do you like your work? Do you spend time doing things you enjoy outside of work? Are there things (other than drinking) that you used to do and enjoy? music, sports, exercise, meditation, art, etc?

Sometimes, I get too focused on trying to get things done and I stop doing the things that I most enjoy. Then, I start to feel unhappy and need to consciously find new (or old) things that bring me joy.

Mountainmanbob

A married couple in my AA home group recently thought and did the same thing. They are both sober once again. It didn't work out well for them when they returned to run with the liquid devil.

For the alcoholic booze is like touching a hot stove. How many times must one get burned before admitting that the stove is hot ?

I would only be fooling myself if I thought that this sober life was not better than my life was while drinking.

Who is a fool ?
A fool is one who fools them self.

MM

Ken33xx

Yeah, life can be a drag and/or get you down but I've never forgotten where I was just before coming getting sober in AA.

I had a very rough time financially from 2005-2009 but never thought about picking up a drink.

If I knew one thing it was a drink wasn't going to make things better.

FLCamper

Hello, Sunshine! (Love that you chose that name!)
Drinking does put a different spin on the world but I don't think I'd call it exciting. Being sober is very different but I don't find it boring, but it does take adjusting.
You're smart to stop and look at things. If the sobriety you were experiencing wasn't making you happy, then, it is time to try something else. But by that, I don't mean drinking!
If AA isn't doing it for you, maybe some other type of counseling is in order. Giving up alcohol is not just sobering up but a huge lifestyle change. As Oak said, maybe its time to change things up to get you enthused: a new sport, hobby, new habits at home.
I was at a kids' birthday party last night at a venue with a giant arcade, restaurant, bar (Dave and Busters - some of you may be familiar)I was the only sober parent there and I bet i'm the only one up at 5am to go run this morning! That's not the only reason I didn't drink last night, but I had a lot more fun sober playing with the kids than sitting at the table too mellowed out/drunk to get up and interact. You have to find your own motivation.
Hang in there, you've done two years, you can do it again. Is your husband on board with getting back on the wagon?

Dropsie

I can completely relate -- I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best. None of it is easy, but what i have come to learn is that its life that isn't easy, even for non-addicts. Its just us addicts have seen a way of escaping that it isn't easy. But we can also use this as a chance to live life on life terms in a way non-addicts don't because they use other escape mechanisms that are harder to see -- my point is -- we all find ways to escape, but its in facing life on life's terms that it gets really interesting, but not easy.

Main point -- you know what you need to do, like we all do, its the doing it that is hard.

XX

waynetheking

Sunshine when I quit drinking life begin for me. It wasn't boring, it was exciting. Still is. It's stability now. That's comforting. Im sure you experience that in almost 2 years of abstinence. I live in a downtown metro area. Bars everywhere. I had to adjust my thinking about what fun means to me. It's called surrender. Thats the key. I know that I can never have alcohol again. Its deadly. Its a disease. It destroys everything in my life. It's over. No more. Now I can rebuild and enjoy life. The fight is over. I think you need to get to that point and stop romanticizing alcohol. Just give it up and move on with life. Your body and mind will heal. Life will be amazing.

Soberwolf

Hoping today is a better day Sunshine

Zebra1275

I wish I didn't know so much about addiction so then I could live blissfully ignorant in a state of denial.

There is a saying in my AA group, that going to AA really screws up your drinking.