NewDay79

to reexplain why you do not drink to well meaning normal drinkers who cannot understand. I was just asked today about what my drinking habits will be this Thanksgiving. It is so funny that people care.

Be blessed this holiday season.
Here's to staying sober!!

zjw

Lucky for me everyone knows I'm a health nut so they don't ask course some know I'm an alcoholic but are not phased I'm fortunate. Someone made us dinner once a couple years age and brought me beer. I was like grr what do I do I asked my wife. It was Guinness to an old favorite. I didn't just wanna throw them out. She made them disappear I later asked where they went she said she gave them to her frien o was like oh no you didn't tell them why did you? She was like please they know your a health nut and won't drink

sleepie

This is the first non drinking holiday season I'll be having in years and only the second one I've had people to celebrate with in years! The desire to drink will be strong. Only today I was offered a drink by the one person I like most to have a drink with, who is dear to me and a very important part of my history. I declined.

bigsombrero

Most of my friends and family know I'm off the sauce and wouldn't dream of offering me booze.

So I guess there is a plus side to being rushed to the hospital after suffering withdrawal seizures on Christmas Eve. Who knew?

Still, I always wonder if my family is now uncomfortable drinking at gatherings when I'm around. So you're damned if you do, damned if you don't - right?

See, us alcoholics are so concerned with alcohol that we'll worry about it no matter what, especially on the holidays. Back in my drinking days, if a friend turned down a beer I was often blown away with shock and surprise. The good news is that most people we know don't view alcohol consumption like we do. If you say "no thanks, I'm good", that will usually be enough to move the conversation on to a new topic. If that's not good enough for them, then you might want to double-check the list of who you're spending time with, and reconsider whether it's in your best interest to continue.

ScottFromWI

The first holidays were rough for me too. Looking back though there were really very few people who even notice or care if I was drinking though. I was the only one obsessed with the thoughts

juppe

I'm looking forward to my family's first sober thanksgiving since forever. I used to dread this time of year because of all the drunken arguments that would ensue

gaffo

I like not drinking because I can really enjoy the food and the children.

Soberwolf

What Scott said

thomas11

I've thought about this. I believe I will be letting quite a few people down this year. But there are 2 people I won't be letting down, myself and my wife. I usually get cranked up and play all the reindeer games, but not this year. They will just be another day on the calendar. its the only way I know how to get through it.

elsker

Like Scott said, I don't think most people would even notice or care. Plus, that leaves more for them!

This will be the first holiday season where I'm not surrounded by booze...Mrs. Elsker's fam would go through several bottles of champagne and wine (like 12) in one day! I'm beginning to see the positives in our soon to be finalized divorce.

ScottFromWI

I think that's a misguided belief brought on by your addiction Thomas. You have absolutely no obligation to anyone to drink. And if by chance someone feels "let down" because you are not drinking, that is entirely their problem - not yours.

GnikNus

I quit drinking right after Thanksgiving last year, so this will be my second round of sober holidays. I don't anticipate cravings like last year. It will be different- better than last year. The only hurdle will be Thanksgiving, which will involve a social setting ( being an introvert, I hate those and used to rely on alcohol to see me through those events). Luckily, I have two kids three and under, so I'll have an excuse to leave the festivities early. I'll be celebrating one year sober during the heart of the holidays. Focus on the kids and enjoy.

JeffreyAK

The only people who really care if you drink or not are people who have drinking problems themselves. Something to keep in mind if someone really starts digging and trying to coerce you into drinking.

Dharma33

I'll be into my 6th month of sobriety at Thanksgiving this year.....I'm ready.

Bring on the turkey! Actually, the sides are my thing.....starch!

I'm going to enjoy the food rather than obsess about sneaking into the kitchen to top off my wine glass.

thomas11

And that is the crux of the issue, all these people drink excessively but pretend they don't have a problem....and they do.

ScottFromWI

But remember - it's their issue, not yours. You are sober and doing everything you can do to stay that way. What they pretend to do or think is beyond your control.

Fly N Buy

Most folks seem satisfied as long as they are getting their drinks they really don't care about what I am drinking.......

As a side note being newish in sobriety, I have to be careful not to proselytize and get caught up in taking other peoples drinking inventory with regards to their consumption - live and let live!

I don't need to sweep up their mess and need to avoid that mindset!

Dee74

NewDay - I have to admit that very few people ever gave me a hard time for not drinking.

I felt like I owed everyone an explanation - I also felt, like Jeff, that I was letting them down.

My AV really had me nailed there.
I spent years drinking for other people.

I finally realised if they feel let down or disappointed cos I'm not drinking, there's something wrong with them, not me.

There's no need for essays of explanation either - not everyone gives the importance to drinking that I did - and if they do, they just might have the same problem I have.

No thanks is a complete sentence

There are some good tips here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D

Sizzle

I feel that I'm going to face a hard time this holiday season. No family due to a divorce. Trying to patch things up with my adult daughter, but it's still rough and won't see her during the holidays. Though, I'm making lots of plans for volunteering, being with friends, finding sites that have a lot of AA meetings over the holidays and plan to stay properly connected. Holiday tradition was something that I loved to be involved in.

Berrybean

I don't know - sounds like you're getting prepared with the plans. And it's actually only a few days. (I just dragged it out from mid-November to 5th January before because it was an excuse to drink even more than usual).

Last year was my first sober Xmas. I made an effort to get involved in non-drinking Xmasy events in my city and with my family, and it turned out to be better than my drinking ones were.

We can make new Traditions