I want to drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 122
I want to drink
Things are not good at the moment, and havn't been for a while. And as usual my reaction is I want to drink. I have struggled with alcoholism all my life, but have been taking two steps forward and one back. I don't want to take this backward step this time.
I have been sober since May last year (this time!). In fact in the last 3 and half years I have spent 7 months drunk. The last relapse was just 2 months as I found what many people find, it didn't work anymore.
Yet now, I'm down, fed up, negative, and want to drink. I am thinking about it more and more every day. I try to fight the thoughts, or at least remember the horrible way it was during my last relapse.
I don't want to drink but I want to drink.
I have been sober since May last year (this time!). In fact in the last 3 and half years I have spent 7 months drunk. The last relapse was just 2 months as I found what many people find, it didn't work anymore.
Yet now, I'm down, fed up, negative, and want to drink. I am thinking about it more and more every day. I try to fight the thoughts, or at least remember the horrible way it was during my last relapse.
I don't want to drink but I want to drink.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
When you think about it, you really don't want do drink....you just want that fleeting feeling of relaxation that alcohol initially provides. But the problem is of course that it comes with all the rest....the shame, the fallout, the hangovers, withdrawals, ect. Picking up now only guarantees that sorrow. You will feel worse than you feel now, no matter what your addiction tells you.
Coming here to talk it through is a great idea. How about seeking some help for the issues that are troubling you instead of making them worse by drinking? Sometimes it helps to break things down into simpler steps. And you can also identify which problems you can change/deal with and which ones are beyond your control anyway.
Coming here to talk it through is a great idea. How about seeking some help for the issues that are troubling you instead of making them worse by drinking? Sometimes it helps to break things down into simpler steps. And you can also identify which problems you can change/deal with and which ones are beyond your control anyway.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
so you want to drink, and as you say, you know it's a reaction.
a re-action.
one there is no need to turn into action.
i find i can have "wannadrink!"feelings without needing to do a thing about it. it's ludicrous.
but you're feeding it. giving it more time, more headspace.
what proactive things can you do instead? get support? play the tape through? go to a meeting?
if you haven't already, check out the AVRT threads in the secular connections forum farther down; they help with combatting the irrationality of those voice-whisperings.
other than that, you might need to change a whole lot of other things in your life, such that there are different avenues to take when feeling down, negative and things aren't good. there are different avenues for that, too.
you don't have to follow your reaction into a drinking action.
a re-action.
one there is no need to turn into action.
i find i can have "wannadrink!"feelings without needing to do a thing about it. it's ludicrous.
but you're feeding it. giving it more time, more headspace.
what proactive things can you do instead? get support? play the tape through? go to a meeting?
if you haven't already, check out the AVRT threads in the secular connections forum farther down; they help with combatting the irrationality of those voice-whisperings.
other than that, you might need to change a whole lot of other things in your life, such that there are different avenues to take when feeling down, negative and things aren't good. there are different avenues for that, too.
you don't have to follow your reaction into a drinking action.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
In my poor sobriety beginning it turns out the most valuable advice people in the fellowship gave me was “KEEP COMING.” Isolation for us alcoholics is one of the worst ways to handle most of what we call our problems successfully.
Sharing our ESH solves most of our concerns.
BE WELL
In my poor sobriety beginning it turns out the most valuable advice people in the fellowship gave me was “KEEP COMING.” Isolation for us alcoholics is one of the worst ways to handle most of what we call our problems successfully.
Sharing our ESH solves most of our concerns.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: south texas
Posts: 152
Stay in the game Rachael its up to you,
I keep telling myself:
It doesn't matter if your going to AA meetings or
a member of the Beau Monde $96,000 a month rehab center,
Its still going to be up to you!
I keep telling myself:
It doesn't matter if your going to AA meetings or
a member of the Beau Monde $96,000 a month rehab center,
Its still going to be up to you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by RachelNorth 
Things are not good at the moment, and havn't been for a while. And as usual my reaction is I want to drink. I have struggled with alcoholism all my life, but have been taking two steps forward and one back. I don't want to take this backward step this time.
I have been sober since May last year (this time!). In fact in the last 3 and half years I have spent 7 months drunk. The last relapse was just 2 months as I found what many people find, it didn't work anymore.
Yet now, I'm down, fed up, negative, and want to drink. I am thinking about it more and more every day. I try to fight the thoughts, or at least remember the horrible way it was during my last relapse.
I don't want to drink but I want to drink.
I have been sober since May last year (this time!). In fact in the last 3 and half years I have spent 7 months drunk. The last relapse was just 2 months as I found what many people find, it didn't work anymore.
Yet now, I'm down, fed up, negative, and want to drink. I am thinking about it more and more every day. I try to fight the thoughts, or at least remember the horrible way it was during my last relapse.
I don't want to drink but I want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
When you think about it, you really don't want do drink....you just want that fleeting feeling of relaxation that alcohol initially provides. But the problem is of course that it comes with all the rest....the shame, the fallout, the hangovers, withdrawals, ect. Picking up now only guarantees that sorrow. You will feel worse than you feel now, no matter what your addiction tells you.
I personally needed to hear that today. I want to go home and relax with a drink and some mindless tv...but I know that tomorrow, even before my eyes are open I will be beating myself up and wondering why I couldn't be strong enough to win over the booze. I hate that I have become addicted to alcohol. I really, really do.
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