Jeni26

Some things take a while to leave us don't they? Why do we insist on over complicating things? I've called in sick to work today as I'm coughing and got earache plus the shivers.

I had to really wrestle with myself before making that phone call. Firstly...there's my ego. There are 2 really important meetings today...they won't be able to manage without me. Total bollocks of course. Secondly...there's guilt. Memories of phoning in when I was still drunk or too hungover to move. Not the case this time. Thirdly...there's pride. I work harder, longer, care more...blah blah blah.... Fourthly there's fear...what will people think of me, will I look incompetent?

I'm sure most of the general population just get sick, phone in, curl up in bed and ride it out!

Gottalife

Or it could be a matter of being conscientious and dedicated, the kind of employee that all employers wish they had. Don't be so hard on yourself

Dee74

I'm just glad you took care of yourself today Jeni - rest up and take it easy

D

Della1968

Feel better Jeni!

zjw

good thread i'm guilty of the same nonsense. In my case? I thnk i'm dillusional. I sit around concocting dillusions and believing them all.

now a days if i take a long stretch of time off my boss one time complained how i couldnt do that and what would they do. I then thought lol he's dillusional.

i was like you'll call me or your get by whats the issue?

zjw

i'm also overcomplicating some probelms in my life right now tho and got some people telling me to stop as they laugh at me telling me i'm totally overthinking it etc..

so also guilty of this.

Jupiters

*raises hand*
over thinker here as well. My counsellor told me I need to stop creating crises. (sp?)
yup. But I'm really good at it. I hope to learn to be just as good at NOT over thinking every little thing. It's bloody draining.

Dropsie

Great post. My big issue is worrying what others will think, when they probably won't and if they do its none of business. But being a people pleaser dies hard, especially for drinkers. Hope you feel better soon.

courage2

You left out, fifthly, there's the complete certainty that it's a terminally unique Ear Tumor!

I *am* the steaming pile of **** at the center of the universe.

ScottFromWI

Overthinking things has been my downfall in the past at times too. Breaking problems down into smaller bits or taking a step back and seeing things for what they really are sometimes helps me ( when I can force myself to do it! ). Don't think about what other people will "think"...because you can't possibly know anyway. And even if you could, there's nothing you could do to change it.

Bottom line, you don't feel good so you stayed home from work to get better. That's why they have "sick days", right? Hope you are feeling better soon.

Jeni26

To be honest, that's the least of my worries. I mean....people could be talking about me RIGHT NOW!! Lol

Holds1325

I to feel the "guilt", hence me waking up dry heaving all night since I didn't eat a single thing since noon yesterday and its now 8am here.

Yet here I am at work, not enough time to take it off, so I must suffer.

Jeni26

One day I walked into the office at work...4 staff working in there. I said a cheery good morning. 3 staff replied, 1 ignored me.

Guess what scenarios I built up in my head about that one? I convinced myself that the silent one hated me, she thought I was crap at my job, she could see through me and could tell that I was full of fear and doubt.

Turns out her son had just cut off all ties with her and refused her access to her granddaughter.

Nothing to do with me...I probably just need to learn from these things instead of repeating them a million times over...

Jeni26

Why do you feel guilt if you are at work Holds? I hope you feel better soon ❤️

Leshar

Jeni, take care. I hope you feel better soon.

Holds1325

Guilt because this feels exactly like a hangover and I powered through that several days in a row. Tired, nauseated, can hardly keep water down.

Also I just feel bad for wanting to take a day off since I already took days off for "panic attack days" if you know what I mean

Its like I get up and go, oh well if I'm going to die, might as well happen at work!

I hate this job but its keeping my family afloat.

zjw

i went out for a run one day pass by this one house guys out there stretching like he's gona go for a run i'm like hrmm competition i guess. so i stressed over it the remainder of the run i looked back thought oh man there he is he's catching up to me stressed over it etc.. then on my way back I realized what i thought was him was a mail box.

So i raced a stationary mailbox and this guy probabbly never even left his driveway. he coulda been stretching for who knows why but i cooked up a great dillusion and raced a mailbox.

I think i won tho...

fini

i don't call it over-complicating, but checking my motives

because it is always just barely remotely possible that my motives aren't 100% pure

just cause...y'know, it's happened in the past. harrumph!

hope you're better soon, Jeni.

Dee74

I hope you feel better soon Holds - I know you've been to the Drs a lot but you're not wasting anyones time going to see them if you're sick - barely able to keep water down sounds pretty bad?

D

Jeni26

I'm sorry to hear that Holds. Maybe you need help with some of that anxiety? Nothing wrong with that. In order to start feeling better I had to a) stop drinking b) take prescribed meds from my doctor c) learn mindfulness and meditation d) go into therapy e) go through the steps of AA. None of that was in priority order except the first one.

Like you, I carried on working throughout withdrawals and emotional upheaval, and it was a long and not straightforward road. I love my job but it didn't make it any easier.

Maybe it's time to speak to your Doctor about this anxiety, it is so common in recovery, I bet there's not one of us here who hasn't felt it.

Thinking of you ❤️

Meanwhile...back in England, I'm taking my second day off in a row...I coughed so much last night even my teeth hurt. How is that even possible?

Like fini says, I need to check my motives so I asked hubby if he thought I should go in. He looked at me straight and said, 'no you're not well'. And he never misses a day off work and is intolerant of those who do. So, I use him as a measure of my sickness. If he says I'm ill, then it's true.

Yup I'm poorly. My chest hurts, I've got a temperature, I'm not eating and there's a pressure behind my eyes that won't go away. That means no work...even to this over thinking alkie. Maybe learning self care is my next life lesson?