Procrastination
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Shabs,
Now that you have put so much mental energy into it, wouldn't you feel better just doing the application???
You don't need to take the job or even go to the interview, but if you don't check the box, might make you feel like you ran away.
For me, I would not do the application, or do it late, out of fear that they would not want me, when in fact not doing the application would make me feel worse than a no would.
Just a thought.
Now that you have put so much mental energy into it, wouldn't you feel better just doing the application???
You don't need to take the job or even go to the interview, but if you don't check the box, might make you feel like you ran away.
For me, I would not do the application, or do it late, out of fear that they would not want me, when in fact not doing the application would make me feel worse than a no would.
Just a thought.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I like the idea of treating it like AV. AV2 - avoidant voice!
I agree, I think it's the same impulse as drinking. For example, I have a really hard time opening emails that I'm nervous about. I'll just ignore them, even though it makes the situation worse. It's the same kind of "oh $#&^ it" type of feeling that I would get when deciding to go get drunk. I guess it's like a learned helplessness? Like, "there's no way this can go well for me, so I might as well not even bother about it". When in reality, of course, if I just dealt with whatever it is it would be fine.
I'm also starting to wonder if I should take my ADHD diagnosis seriously. I feel like everyone gets told that, but looking back on it and especially on the testing I did, there may be something there.
I agree, I think it's the same impulse as drinking. For example, I have a really hard time opening emails that I'm nervous about. I'll just ignore them, even though it makes the situation worse. It's the same kind of "oh $#&^ it" type of feeling that I would get when deciding to go get drunk. I guess it's like a learned helplessness? Like, "there's no way this can go well for me, so I might as well not even bother about it". When in reality, of course, if I just dealt with whatever it is it would be fine.
I'm also starting to wonder if I should take my ADHD diagnosis seriously. I feel like everyone gets told that, but looking back on it and especially on the testing I did, there may be something there.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Ditto. Just the same. Amazing.
Adult ADHD is no laughing matter, and I think there may be more overlap with other problems like alcoholism than people think.
Its a coping mechanism and then gets out of control.
I would definitely follow-up.
Adult ADHD is no laughing matter, and I think there may be more overlap with other problems like alcoholism than people think.
Its a coping mechanism and then gets out of control.
I would definitely follow-up.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
My sister has been diagnosed with ADHD. She thinks I have it too. I certainly can see the supposed signs. I'm not 100% convinced though in my case. It just feels like something else is going on....
Fantail, I hope you start feeling a bit better health-wise. It will be good to get to the doctor when you can. Maybe our bodies are still recovering after the hammering they took(?)
Dropsie, your therapist sounds lovely; "do things with kindness"....I like that.
Well, you wouldn't freakin' believe it. I have my CV and cover letter all ready to go, and I go to apply online and get a 'website under construction' message. So I email the person concerned, and get a "I"m away from the office until tomorrow afternoon' message. The closing date is today. I think though that they will probably make an exception because the website was down. I expect to hear back and get positive news.
I think my reluctance to apply was a confidence problem. Am I up to it? Will I fit in there? Those kinds of questions. I also worry about getting enough sleep, so getting up very early in the morning freaks me out a bit. That said, I'm glad I will be applying (assuming they accept it), and have a que sera sera attitude about it.
Fantail, I hope you start feeling a bit better health-wise. It will be good to get to the doctor when you can. Maybe our bodies are still recovering after the hammering they took(?)
Dropsie, your therapist sounds lovely; "do things with kindness"....I like that.
Well, you wouldn't freakin' believe it. I have my CV and cover letter all ready to go, and I go to apply online and get a 'website under construction' message. So I email the person concerned, and get a "I"m away from the office until tomorrow afternoon' message. The closing date is today. I think though that they will probably make an exception because the website was down. I expect to hear back and get positive news.
I think my reluctance to apply was a confidence problem. Am I up to it? Will I fit in there? Those kinds of questions. I also worry about getting enough sleep, so getting up very early in the morning freaks me out a bit. That said, I'm glad I will be applying (assuming they accept it), and have a que sera sera attitude about it.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Congratulations on turning in the application, TS! No matter how it turns out, at least you won't have to beat yourself up for not trying. I hope you get an interview, but even if you don't it's a success!
How are you getting along, Dropsie?
How are you getting along, Dropsie?
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Nice to meet you Soberpatamus and welcome.
I am okay, trying to do the things I need to do without hating myself over it. More difficult than it sounds.
I have never posted anywhere. ever.
I am surprised how helpful it can be to just put things out there, especially to nice folks like you.
Thanks.
I am okay, trying to do the things I need to do without hating myself over it. More difficult than it sounds.
I have never posted anywhere. ever.
I am surprised how helpful it can be to just put things out there, especially to nice folks like you.
Thanks.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 165
Ive ALWAYS had a problem w/ procrastination. And I realized while examining my alcoholism, that ive always been self destructive, also. Which fits perfectly w/ booze since what it does best..Is Destroy. Thanx for bringing these 2 things up cuz im gonna do some reading online. Both issues I believe have a root somewhere. Ive figured out the self destructiveness. Procrastination has cost me so very much in my life. All Bad, too. I hate it! Just work on helping yourself Dropsie. Thats what ive been trying to do...and its working so far on kicking alcohol outta my life. I would truly love to be free from any self defeating, self destructive behavior i have. That would be Great!!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
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Don't you dare hate yourself over *anything*, dew drops! Ya hear?!! You'll have Hurricane Fantail to answer to.
It's Soberpotamus, not Soberpatamus. I know I'm being a total pernickity pain in the derriere. I just wanted to point it out because it made me laugh (out loud). I have to say, Soberpotamus is a 'way cool' name as the young ones might say (actually, that expression probably went out with the ark).
Welcome Soberp*o*tamus! :-D
Delightful Dropsie.....
It's Soberpotamus, not Soberpatamus. I know I'm being a total pernickity pain in the derriere. I just wanted to point it out because it made me laugh (out loud). I have to say, Soberpotamus is a 'way cool' name as the young ones might say (actually, that expression probably went out with the ark).
Welcome Soberp*o*tamus! :-D
Delightful Dropsie.....
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Hi Soberpotamus & 120degrees 
TS, hopefully none of us will see Hurricane Fantail anytime soon!
Dropsie, I'm glad you're posting! I don't really do online forums outside of SR. But this site is such a lifeline. Getting sober and staying sober is such a bizarre experience. It's so intense, and hard, and fascinating. And it involves so much freaking navel-gazing (ok, let's call it self-examination) that it's isolating. I think I'd go nuts if I didn't have an outlet to talk these things through, and to hear about other people's experiences. This is way too big of a process to do as secretly as I would otherwise.
TS, hopefully none of us will see Hurricane Fantail anytime soon!
Dropsie, I'm glad you're posting! I don't really do online forums outside of SR. But this site is such a lifeline. Getting sober and staying sober is such a bizarre experience. It's so intense, and hard, and fascinating. And it involves so much freaking navel-gazing (ok, let's call it self-examination) that it's isolating. I think I'd go nuts if I didn't have an outlet to talk these things through, and to hear about other people's experiences. This is way too big of a process to do as secretly as I would otherwise.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Man and I spelled Della'a name wrong in Cow's thread. Please don't sic Windstorm woman on me...
Welcome 120Degrees, you and I are soulmates. My self defeating behaviours are world class, truly. We should compare notes some day for the laugh.
Thanks all -- I am glad to be posting, does really help. Never thought it would, but it really does; at least when its not time I should be working, like now.....
How is everyone today??
Welcome 120Degrees, you and I are soulmates. My self defeating behaviours are world class, truly. We should compare notes some day for the laugh.
Thanks all -- I am glad to be posting, does really help. Never thought it would, but it really does; at least when its not time I should be working, like now.....
How is everyone today??
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
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I'm good. Early Saturday morning check in. I put off some work during the week that I *have* to do today. Should only take a couple of hours. For some reason I don't have that panicky "I can't do it!" feeling, which is a blessed relief. I get that feeling with the easiest tasks....it has nothing to do with difficulty. It's more the fear of not doing it, and yet supposedly, I have complete control over that(?) Still trying to figure that one out.
Have a great day/night, all :-)
Have a great day/night, all :-)
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Thanks for the welcome, ladies (and guys?).
Procrastination is such a bear. I have been working since getting sober to manage my time better. I've read some books on habit change, and how to break through the urges to procrastinate.
It seems perfectionists tend toward procrastination. I'm one of those! Lol. So, been working on it now for a while Things have gotten better for me, but there is still much room for improvement.
My trick is to pick no more than three things to focus on for the day. And to take one step toward a goal, because when I wake up thinking I'll take 3 huge steps, that's where I set myself up for failure.
One load of dishes, one load of laundry, run one mile, read one chapter, write for one hour...
And if I go over the hour, that's fine. It usually happens that way. I usually do end up doing more than I set out to do. But whenever I get it in my mind that I must do LOTS of things that day, I tend to cave.
Procrastination is such a bear. I have been working since getting sober to manage my time better. I've read some books on habit change, and how to break through the urges to procrastinate.
It seems perfectionists tend toward procrastination. I'm one of those! Lol. So, been working on it now for a while
Things have gotten better for me, but there is still much room for improvement. My trick is to pick no more than three things to focus on for the day. And to take one step toward a goal, because when I wake up thinking I'll take 3 huge steps, that's where I set myself up for failure.
One load of dishes, one load of laundry, run one mile, read one chapter, write for one hour...
And if I go over the hour, that's fine. It usually happens that way. I usually do end up doing more than I set out to do. But whenever I get it in my mind that I must do LOTS of things that day, I tend to cave.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
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Hey, Fantail, that is fantastic!!!
Yes, that's good advice, Soberpotamus. Just begin - that is the hardest part for me. Thinking about everything that needs to be done overwhelms me. I'm a terrible perfectionist too. It comes out in the strangest ways. I think I'm making some headway with it :-)
You can run a mile or more? Wow! I heard someone say once 'running is for emergencies only'...heh heh. I can relate. I wish I could. I tried very hard once. I was running daily and taking it slow, but I just don't have the physical makeup for it and never built up any stamina at all. Never could, even when I was a child.
Yes, that's good advice, Soberpotamus. Just begin - that is the hardest part for me. Thinking about everything that needs to be done overwhelms me. I'm a terrible perfectionist too. It comes out in the strangest ways. I think I'm making some headway with it :-)
You can run a mile or more? Wow! I heard someone say once 'running is for emergencies only'...heh heh. I can relate. I wish I could. I tried very hard once. I was running daily and taking it slow, but I just don't have the physical makeup for it and never built up any stamina at all. Never could, even when I was a child.
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