courage2

Am I just contrary? (Yes, duh.) To my knowledge, before I was 16 I was never assaulted. But if I even *think* about a massage my body braces. I don't do massages, facials, manis, pedis -- hell I cut my own hair. I fear hugs.

Go figure.

Tooshabby

I cut my own hair too. That's just because I'm cheap and impatient though. Plus it's thick and wavy so you can't tell it's uneven.

I don't really get anything out of hugs.. I just do it cos it's the done thing and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if that's what they're expecting. I liked the sound of your phleb lover's hug though, Cow. That sounded special.

That classical conditioning is hard to budge, unfortunately. I remember our ex-neighbours having a huge barney once and I realised after 10 minutes I'd been transfixed to one spot - petrified.

Ajax

It's International Raccoon Appreciation Day and to celebrate I ate 3/4 of a roll of Pillsbury Cookie Dough. So there.

Tooshabby

lol - love it. Love raccoons too. This is beautiful...if you let the video roll on to the next one you'll see an immensely fat raccoon doing forward rolls. It's good :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z_D2IfpF3g

courage2

Hi Ajax -- it's good to see you!

puffy

Raccooooooon sighting!!!! It is a good day on the thread.
Elsker- good song, Frantic's music is always positive.

Cow

Melissa, we misses you! I loves raw cookie dough. OMG. Raw egg, flour, butter, sugar, vanilla , maybe some cocoa chips. Gives me a spoon!

Bunny, it took me many year to learn how to hug or be touch in any way where I okay with it. Probable not until 30's. But I did overcome this aversion. And now, I really feel lack of touch. All animals touch, a lot. I still have problem, especial around any solicitous touch, but I have become able to be receptive again to caring touch. Lot of you guys is married or with partner or children though, right? I assume you getting some touch there, no?

I also cut own hair. Entire adult life, I not give crap about thing like hair/nail/waxing/facial/stylist and has never participate in any of that. It feel total invasive to me. I not want people touching me for to make me more pretty or presentable. I hate that society fixated on valuing people that way.

Tooshabby

Yes, and I do count my lucky stars on that front. Lots of caring touch available. I started missing that when I was single too.

Mr TS is nuts about raw cookie dough :-)

O.m.g....just saw the news. Not another shooting :-(

Ajax

Wait....are you trying to politely tell me I will be that immensely fat raccoon if I continue to eat raw cookie dough rolls??
(I already know that ).

Ajax

I also have a real phobia about hair salons since as a kid my mum used to bring me to her hairdresser and I'd sit in the chair looking in the mirror and not allowed to say anything while my mother told them how to do my hair, usual ending up like some little girl from a 40's war bond poster.

Tooshabby

The horror, the horror!

I remember when I was young seriously considering ducking my head under a water fountain in the middle of the city after a bad hair do.

walkbeformakrun

I'm not big on hugs myself. Sometimes they bother me. Mostly though I just feel nothing. Waste of time. Awkward.

I'm not all that human oriented even. At one point in my early 30's I lived alone in a very remote area for about a year. During this time I'd go weeks without seeing any people at all. I didn't miss it. Then I'd go into civilization for supplies and not see anyone I knew. I'd just quietly buy what I needed, make as little contact as possible and get out. I did have dogs though. Lots of dogs. It was good.

Then again, I had a few good friends who tracked me down in the wilderness and surprise visited me. That was great too. And now I have kids and a wife and love to hug them.

Quirky

OMG you guys, I cut my own hair too, and I hate massages, facials, manicures and pedicures as well. I thought I was alone in these aversions, but now I feel sorta' special ' cause you guys are way cool!

courage2

Since I got sober, my husband and I touch more. That's obviously a trust thing.

I will hug or shake hands if socially compelled but I'd prefer not to.

The one kind of touch that doesn't seem to apply to the general aversion is sex. Seems like I'm very good at mentally splitting myself for sex purposes, but not during a haircut!

elsker

I have never been assaulted, but I am freaked out by massages. I don't like strangers rubbing on my naked body.

I miss touch, however. I've been separated from Mrs. Elsker for four months now and I really crave human touch. Getting my hair cut later this morning, so I guess I'll get some human contact then.

trachemys

Someone washing my hair is very close to sex for me. Been known to moan.

Note to self: schedule haircut!

Gilmer

I am in an environment where hugging has been foisted on me. I am by nature very reticent with hugging. I have had people take it upon themselves to "teach me how to hug."

I now find myself at the end of one-to-one engagements getting very nervous. I usually knee-jerk into initiating a hug, and I am always very awkward. I have no idea why I do it. It is awkward if I do and awkward if I don't.

I never hug people who are close to me!

When it is time to part from somebody I don't know well, I stand up in that awkward moment and think, "If I like you, I should probably hug you--because if I don't, I'll be signaling that I don't like you!" And I stand there for that endless two seconds weighing it back and forth in my mind--and then I usually just knuckle under and do it, because I hardly ever truly dislike anybody!

But my hugs are always unpleasant and rarely heartfelt, and nobody ever benefits, either me or the recipients!

kittycat3

I don't like our cultural fascination with beauty or perfect looks at all, but I do admit to be someone who feels good after a good grooming appointment, whether it be haircut or color or a pedicure.
I am single and have been for years. Massage is a good way for me to get in some safe human touch (when I was drinking, my need for touch can come out in compulsive and self-destructive ways.) Not getting regular touch is a really hard part about being single for me.
I tend to be a hugger, and I don't shy away from hugs. Although I am very conflicted about this in the workplace, so I typically don't indulge there, but in personal settings even when meeting people for the first time, I'll depart giving them a hug. It's no big deal to me.
Now if only I could afford massages on a semi-regular basis

kittycat3

Aw, Gilmer, even an awkward hug can be beneficial! I'll take an awkward hug over none any day....

Gilmer

Even if it's awkward, at least you know I'm trying!

I'll take a massage any day of the week! But skip the bone-crushing "therapeutic" massages! I'm not paying you for torture! They need an "outraged" emoticon. Here's my closest approximation: D-:<