Fluffer

So I'm about 10 months sober and have been invited to a poker game with old friends who I really like to see once in a while. We go way back and they are all easy-going, I'm sure nobody will be trying to force a drink down my throat. Before I quit, I would typically drink about a six pack and have a few shots of Whiskey, and maybe a few tokes of what was going around, over the course of 3-4 hours.

I am basically a closet non-drinker to most of the world so I would probably say that I'm on a health thing and taking time off from drink. Honestly, I don't think it's going to be a problem so I'm probably going to go.

Just posting as a reality check. Let me know if you think I'm crazy.

ScottFromWI

Tough call on that one. If you haven't seen them since you quit and none of them know I'd hesitate. If it's common for them to be passing around "whatever" to toke on and they are used to seeing you binge drink along with them ( which is exactly what a 6 pack and some shots is ) they will expect you to be drinking along with them.

Also - ask yourself this: Is it really a poker night where drinking "also"happens, or is it a drinking night that also happens to involve poker? If it's the latter I'd probably decline.

Up to you though, if you do go make sure you are prepared to leave if things get out of hand.

Soberwolf

I honestly wouldn't go you don't have to test your sobriety at 10 months not like this anyway

I'm on your side

Fluffer

Thanks for the input guys. Scott - your question was really the crux of the matter - they are first of all friends who sometimes party together. I have known them for decades and like them as people. I see some of them socially occasionally in non drinking situations. I had plenty of "drinking buddies" and these guys were really not in that category. While the volume consumed may be large by normal standards, they don't normally get drunk and stupid - if they did I would definitely leave.

Nevertheless

I am just speaking for myself here. But I just simply don't like to be around people drinking anymore. For me,it's not about temptation. It's just that you take away the booze,and we have little in common .
I have a feeling if you go,and make it to hour 3,or 4. You will also find you have little in common with them in that state of mind.
Personally ,I would not go.

Fred

dwtbd

Just don't drink, no matter what. Poker is fun and to win (the fun part) you need your "wits about you", so you got a built it advantage
Don't go if any part of your thinking is trying to let a "slip" off the hook ie "oops damn well.. guess I really need to stay away from poker nights too" not at all saying this is your motivation, honestly doesn't sound like it, just make sure . If you go , remember pocket 9s aren't always all that

fini

if you're clear on your motives for going, clear in your gut and solid in your sobriety, no reason not to go.
have an escape plan, what to do and say if you get iffy while there, and make sure you have your vehicle or a way to leave.

your gut will tell you if you're okay to go.

Tracy999

I agree with Nevertheless. You will probably find after a couple of hours, them getting drunker and you aren't, it won't be much fun for you.

The only times I get uncomfortable in sobriety is at these drinking get togethers without a specific ending time. Which, in my experience, is exactly what a poker night is. I have found that I'm good for a couple of hours and then I need to leave. Not because I'm tempted to drink but because the other people are no longer bearable.

You seem confident that your buddies won't be pressuring you to partake but are you going to be comfortable leaving early if you find yourself uncomfortable or wanting to give in and join the "partying"?

youbetcha

For me, when I got sober, my general outlook on alot of other things changed as well. Hanging out in bars or casinos, gambling etc.,even with friends at home became less and less appealing to me, and I came to see as all part of the same lifestyle, eventually leading back to drinking for me.

Fly N Buy

In your heart of hearts, are you ok and ready to do this? If not, there will be more opportunities to visit with these friends another time, perhaps.

I made sobriety my number one objective - It was quit or stay miserable and face unknown peril and sickness - shortened life span. I have decided that's not what I want.

So, I make some choices about who I hang with these days. Mostly it's others in recovery - normal people have become kind of boring...........

Exit strategy - to thine own self be true, and do as tho wilt!!!

Fluffer

Thanks, everyone. Good advice all around. I am definitely not intentionally trying to sabotage myself here - I've come way too far for that. And yeah, I will definitely be driving there if I go so no problem getting out if people start becoming loud and boring. Who knows, maybe in my sober state I will see things I didn't notice before.

MelindaFlowers

I feel confident that I could go to a poker party and not drink. However, I am with the people who say that I just simply do not like being around drunk people anymore. The loud talking and loud joking and loud laughing is just like fingernails on a chalkboard.

I know you say they don't get crazy drunk but I still find medium drunk people annoying.

FlyerFan

Just have a backup plan to get yourself out if you find yourself cornered. I have done a lot of things like that sober.

Grungehead

You've gotten good advice so I will just add...I love poker (play it nearly every day) and I'm a MUCH better player sober than I was drunk.

Soberwolf

Della1968

I didn't play for a few months but now I can go,win and leave no problem if you feel strong go. They are your friends first and people who drink second. I just don't give alcohol the power to make me avoid things. This does depend on how confident you are.

tomsteve

want to find out if theyre friends or drinking buddies?
beforehand, call each one, get honest with em about your problem with alcohol and ask them what their opinion is on the question.
their replies will speak volumes.

doggonecarl

Why say you are taking time off from drinking if lifetime sobriety is your goal? Are you only taking time off? Is your excuse the crack in the door your addiction needs to slip in?

This game seems a perfect opportunity to tell these people your goal of sobriety and accomplishment of 10 months without a drink.

Fluffer

Quick update on the poker game - I attended and fortunately I never felt close to having a drink, although I was certainly offered a lot of times. I may go again once in a while but honestly it was just kind of boring. A lot of the activity was centered on drinking and smoking and the poker game moved at a glacial pace. While I had no craving to join them at the time, the more negative effect seemed to be that I was in a place where everyone was drinking, they were OK and it and it was just normal. It put me on the defensive and I sort of had to remind myself of why I quit and what I am trying to achieve. So I guess it's not the best environment to stay motivated for sobriety and it wasn't really that enjoyable. I guess that's why former drinkers tend to keep their own company.

MIRecovery

I use the analogy of putting a pistol to your head. I will pull the trigger if I'm 100% positive that it is not loaded. Other than that pulling the trigger is a very bad idea.

When it comes to sobriety we are in a black and white situation because it is the first drink that kills us