Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XIII: "I Got a Moo Attitude"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Originally Posted by Cow 
Thank you everybody for you kindnesses, understandings and support. I see we is at thread limit of 500 post. I just get up and kind of out of it, so I will end here and start new thread later today when I less groggy. See you all there...
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Originally Posted by Cow
Bunny, I quitting the benzo cuz, as other has mentioned, research and lot of anecdotal testimony show benzos is big factor in depression/anhedonia. And I at point of desperations. I total and utter desperate for relief from this depressions. It has all but consume me and I simply can no live with it much longer. I not being dramatic. I cannot endure it.
I asked because I myself am not a proponent of trying to quit multiple substances or addictions at the same time. Yes, there's a risk if you only quit one that you'll funnel the use right to the other. But my experience quitting alcohol was sufficiently grueling for me at the time. I actually indulged more in a few vices
for a long time after abstinence, rather than less. Otherwise I was completely miserable -- this went on for a full year. My posts from 2013 really don't express it. I was a closed shop. Currently, with 20 months consecutive abstinence from alcohol, I'm trying to quit something. The mourning over the prospect of doing without, and the desire for the thing to grant me even temporary release -- frankly it's bringing me back to a lot of alcoholic thinking which is most unwelcome. Hopefully I can handle it now.
So I'm worried for you that quitting the benzo now, while your quit from alcohol is still fragile -- and caffeine? and have you actually quit those? -- will result in such utter insanity that you'll fly back into the arms of one of them again, or something new.
I'm just stating my worries about you. And that you appear to be doing these multiple quits without 24/7 monitoring.
I've always been concerned that you focus excessively on changing a "thing" that will solve your depression. Adding a thing, a supplement, a treatment, a therapist, or subtracting a thing. I personally am absolutely a case where the need to add a thing became painfully obvious. But actually, for me, the breakthrough was in recognizing that someone could help me. You, on the other hand, seem sometimes to have the opposite problem -- the belief that only something other than yourself can help you. I think more help is within you than you have so far shown yourself willing to dig for. That statement is intended to show my affection and respect for you.
Recognizing that there's a broad middle ground, I'm merely stating my thoughts. You know I'm very fond of you, and I think you know where to find me.
xxoo -SB
Edit: Sorry, I just saw you'd "closed" this thread. If you never read this post, it's for the ether. <3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
