itsonthehorizon

for me - forums, social media & all sucks. never feel the love & support.

drinking today because who cares...

birdygal78

Well I care!!

birdygal78

I feel the same way a lot. I feel like my support "team" don't care because no one checks up on me to see how I'm doing. And when I feel that way, I say screw it, and I relapse. Trust me, don't give in. It screws with you. I'm still trying to learn how to bypass that and realize people do care, they just don't need to be up my butt all the time.

Dee74

I'm sorry that you feel that way today itsonthehorizon. Our addiction will use anything that comes to hand to lead us to drink again...

The truth is tho a lot of us really do care what happens to you

I think deep down you care a little too or you wouldn't have posted?

why tip the rest of the booze out and limit the damage?

D

itsonthehorizon

I think deep down you care a little too or you wouldn't have posted?

lets go with that - but if i'm the only one that cares about it...wtf? why not just drink

silentrun

When I was still drinking my self loathing was so bad even if someone did care I sure as hell didn't. Do you think there might be some of that going on? It does matter if you get sober or not. You matter and so does the life you can have if you manage to break free from the slavery to alcohol.

Dee74

I've removed some posts.
Constructive input & responses only please

Dee
Moderator
SR

Sudz No More

You get back when you put in, so keep writing. It will give your sobriety meaning when your alcoholism has none.

Dee74

Like I said, we care or we wouldn't post to you, its.

Even the posts you might not like, someones taking time out to respond to you, and noone has to do that.

D

On The Road

Isonthehorizon- I don't have any magic advice for you, but I can say that in this moment - right now, I care about you.

zjw

You sound as if you feel alone? I always felt like I was very much alone in a way I still am I am the only one who can ultimately fix my problem others might support me or abandon me either way it's up to me to make the right choices with or with out them. So if no one really cares what does it matter it's still up to me to not drink either way. I can either do it with some help from here or aa or friends etc.. Or i can do it alone or not at all but it's up to me.

itsonthehorizon

tired of the monthly class thing - post how i'm doing - but guess i don't get back because i'm just not full of philosophical stuff to give back to others...idk, story of my life

birdygal78

Itsonthehorizon.. What made you want to quit drinking in the first place? There must've been a reason?

Hevyn

I care about you too - please don't give up on yourself.

PasserbyDave

People in this forum do care, because we're battling the same thing you're battling; but maybe what you're really saying is you just don't feel like anyone else in your life cares, selflessly, in a way you can feel is really meaningful. Everyone else is self-distracted. One thing that helped me finally put that bottle down for good (so far, after 2 1/2 years) was the realization that >>> I <<< am the one who has to care about me. The truth is, nobody else is going to (or ever did) care about me the way I really need to be cared about. It's a powerful thing when you finally decide to start caring about yourself.

sleepie

itson thehorizon.

I understand, that can happen to anyone and anywhere.
It hurts. And sometimes, I think it is unfair.
But look here. There are many who care.
Try and focus on those who speak to you in a way that resonates or helps you.
You owe it to yourself to focus on that if posting here helps you.
The internet is a great big world just like real life, with a variety of opinions and people, some may hurt and some may help.
Lately in my life I try to give my attention to the ones that help.
Ignore the rest.
You know drinking won't help you. It may make you feel better for now... but the site is here for you and we are here for you. Those of us who have said we care.
I hope you will pour out the rest, I know how easy it is to just throw the towel in and escape for a bit.

Holds1325

I felt this way today too actually I havent talked to my support other than my wife since last thursday!!

In the end I have to quit for me or it wont work, if i quit just because everyone says I should that wears off way too quick.

Hang in there it really is hard sometimes, im sure if you reached out someone would respond. Our addictions caused us not to reach out like this so really everyone around us sort of expects that.

ScottFromWI

We all come here for a reason, I originally came here purely to help myself but found that helping others is just as beneficial if not more. Why bother horizon? I think you already know why but if you are drinking you aren't thinking straight. Maybe some water and rest are in order? Come back tomorrow with a clear head.

AllieFox

ok, I'm a bit worried about saying the wrong thing here so no hard feelings if I get this wrong and the moderators want to delete. But here's my two cents:

What I want to know is, how is your drinking session actually going? Are you feeling good at the moment?

My drinking sessions go a little bit like this: About 1 hour of pleasure, while I rapidly guzzle several beers or glasses of wine. Another hour or so of brain melt coupled with either fighting the craving for more or I give into the craving and make a rapid descent into oblivion. So when I really break it down, I only get about an hour of actual pleasure from any drinking session, the rest is hours and hours of torment, regret, sickness and shell shock.

Its been a while since you first posted. In the meantime, I've had a nice shower and eaten some yummy noodles. Are you still having a good time? Do you feel any better now about no one caring about you? Was drinking helpful in some way? Beyond that first hour, I mean.

itsonthehorizon

no thanks...as i said i'm not full of philosophical stuff to help anyone - best i can do is say hang in there y'all