Holds1325

My panic seems to have gone down quite a bit in the past week however, I had a conference call today where I was to show how to re-create a "bug" in our database that has been bothering us for months.

The last time I had to do this it ended up turning into a huge argument that ended with me basically saying, TOLD YOU SO!

Anyway before this call even happened I started getting massive anxiety again and the whole system just went down so I'm just nervous hoping that I can just get this over with and make it to the end of the day.

I know how it feels though and it is annoying! I need to de-stress as well, just not sure how to without alcohol lately. I know exercise but I have to figure that out as cold weather is starting up in my area.

Aellyce

I get that I grew up in a house with a large yard in a quiet suburban neighborhood (although officially part of a large city) that had a gorgeous garden: beautiful trees, rock gardens, ponds, lots of rare plants and peace. I worked lots with my father on maintaining the garden (it was also his job to produce and sell plants). We also always had many different animals as pets. I figured as I grew older that I am more a city person by my nature, but that upbringing had profound effect on me and enjoying nature in a quiet way is still my ideal vacation (living in a busy city in the everyday). Even just hanging out in the park in the city. There was a while in my late teens and early 20's when I wanted to become an ecologist and did field work with professionals in my free time (volunteered), it was a lot of fun.

I am actually thinking about possibly moving out of the city in the near future into an environment that has more space and peace; have not made up my mind yet, it would get complicated as my current work is in the city but maybe I can change that as well at some point.

Go for it zjw if and when you can

zjw

geeze you sound like me.

as far as those sorts of things with jobs i got to a point where i just quit careing. I do what i can and thats just that. I wont lie tho it does still hook me at times with work and its maddening. I sit there thinking if i can just make it till 5 or till the weekend then i can start all over again.

I'm a programmer so I can relate pretty well to what your saying.

Holds1325

Yeah I hear you, when I first sobered up a month ago I was working 10 hour days when the a/c in our building got shut off and it would easily get about 90 degrees inside the building let alone 100+ outside. This is in a brick building too.

I work in database support so anytime we have anything affecting our database integrity it's my job to make sure it gets fixed by our developers, most times they don't like to listen :/, hence the panic attacks and the worsening of my addiction!

I just need to learn new ways of coping with the stress.

zjw

I wish you luck. I"ve come to the conclusion its a high pressure high stress field. there is no getting around that.

I dont particularly like what i do anymore. and without the ability to drink away the hard days I have not been able to really handle it myself.

My strategy has been to lay low when i can keep my head down and try and just stick to the projects i get doled out and not volunteer for much more. Its carreer suicide really but I can go from 0 to blazing pissed off twitching and shaking in this field.

I'm getting better at not allowing it to get to me but working from home is my saving grace. If i had to face these people day in and day out i would have lost my job a long long long time ago.

I wish i had good advice. I try not allow it to get to me but I wont lie it does at times and my strategy for dealing with it probably could bebetter but this is the best i got right now.

I dunno about you but my supervisors love to apply added unnecesary pressure on us as well to try and speed up the delivery of the development etc.. I simply do not even respond to this anymore. I used to scramble and feak out now I just tune all that out I know there game so I try not to let that get to me.

sleepie

Hi zjw
I think with a certain kind of past or upbringing you are hard wired for fight or flight mode. Your formative years, taking in all experiences, that can shape what's between your ears physically not just mentally.
Pretty hard to change your grey matter after awhile.
Good that it doesn't happen all the time though.

zjw

Thanks sleepie. I hope your doing well!

You know Biminiblue had a side chat with me today about this very point basicly. She mentioned I could look into some of the love your inner child type stuff / books. I'm gonna poke around and research it more maybe pick up a book.

Your right its hard when your like hardwired to be this way. I wanna unwire it tho or try too. I really have made a ton of progress it was just downright frustring this morning to have a spell like this.

I've noticed latly panic sneaking up on me. I went for a few weeks with a lot of good calm days it was so nice and such a relief. Probably because life got easy around here. Now things are going back to normal around here and some of hte panic is coming back which is kind of annoying because panic per say was something I had at bay anxiety was really my long term kicker.

It'll subside i'm sure this stuff comes and goes.

ScottFromWI

It seems to come and go in waves for me too. And sometimes it comes even at times when I would least expect it....when I'm relaxed or at home. I go back to what some have said here...that my brain is somewhat wired that way. But just like my brain is also wired to be an alcoholic brain, I have started to accept it and not only live with it, but improve as well. Since I was drunk for the better part of 2 plus decades, I am honestly not sure what my sober adult brain "should" function like. Nor can I say how much my drinking may have worsened my anxiety.

I think the bottom line though is that we can improve it and live with it, we just need to find the best way and stay open to all options for help. For example, I have personally made it my goal to improve my anxiety without meds. But if some day nothing else works and meds are the only option left, I will try that too.

Dee74

I can only share my experience, and therapy helped me.
I saw a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. No meds involved.

I needed an outside perspective because I couldn't see everything, being in the middle.

From that starting point I was able to chip away at the problem.
The end result is, after being incredibly anxious for most of my life I'm now less anxious than I've ever been

If the therapy thing is not your bag, there are still a lot of resources on the net

D