My Story of Moderation
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I've been able to make a good show of moderation during the good spells, but on the whole I am not capable of really doing it. I've found that what begins with an innocent beer with dinner will steadily escalate into a house full of empties and a lot of regrettable memories. When I am in full swing, I can easily put away more than a 6 pack before dinner time, though it doesn't seem unusual to me, and I rationalize that the drinks have been spaced out over the course of the day, so I was never really drunk for any of it. Somehow I don't notice that I've begun to drink excessively until I see the empty bottles piling up on the kitchen counter. My personality begins to degrade, as well. I am a very mean drunk and it is the people close to me who deal with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by lssnheer 
I've been able to make a good show of moderation during the good spells, but on the whole I am not capable of really doing it. I've found that what begins with an innocent beer with dinner will steadily escalate into a house full of empties and a lot of regrettable memories. When I am in full swing, I can easily put away more than a 6 pack before dinner time, though it doesn't seem unusual to me, and I rationalize that the drinks have been spaced out over the course of the day, so I was never really drunk for any of it. Somehow I don't notice that I've begun to drink excessively until I see the empty bottles piling up on the kitchen counter. My personality begins to degrade, as well. I am a very mean drunk and it is the people close to me who deal with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by dswa
I haven't decided whether or not to try and moderate yet, but if I did I would set a fail-safe of never drinking at home, alone, under my own discretion. I never did have a problem going too far when I was out.
More recently I've gotten better at cutting off before I am imbalanced and slurring. I can get myself to the threshold and hold it there. I guess that's because I just don't like puking or feeling super sick. I think I can cap it because I have never blacked out before; for some reason my mind is not capable of it, even when I've been too drunk to walk or speak clearly I've kept memories the next day, and I absolutely hate the feeling, both during and after.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
excellent post Melinda and everyone else who kept this going.
I never attempted moderation myself. Well kinda maybe. I drank lite beer when I didn't feel like drinking. So instead of getting hammered on six it would take 12...
What I wanted to comment on was the needing more to feel it. Eventually I would get up in the morning a just take a couple big swigs from the vodka bottle and wash it down with beer. I already knew a beer wasn't gonna be enough to start the day. Sad but true...
I never attempted moderation myself. Well kinda maybe. I drank lite beer when I didn't feel like drinking. So instead of getting hammered on six it would take 12...
What I wanted to comment on was the needing more to feel it. Eventually I would get up in the morning a just take a couple big swigs from the vodka bottle and wash it down with beer. I already knew a beer wasn't gonna be enough to start the day. Sad but true...
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Love this....got a few paragraphs in and was already overwhelmed! This moderating thing sure sounds like just the solution! 
Sadly, it's the terrible mouse on a terminally spinning wheel feeling that's just so very horrible....yet we tell ourselves we've got this, we can handle it.
Sadly, it's the terrible mouse on a terminally spinning wheel feeling that's just so very horrible....yet we tell ourselves we've got this, we can handle it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
Moderating alcohol is like moderating tobacco, if you can do it then it will be a simple task and if you are finding you cannot do it then accept you cannot do it. Easy to say but not easily done for a lot of us, for the simple reason is that we want to keep drinking. I had to be done with drink to be able to remain sober, not because i thought i should, someone else thought i should or for any reason other than i didn't want to do it anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
Originally Posted by Scd619x
Moderating alcohol is like moderating tobacco, if you can do it then it will be a simple task and if you are finding you cannot do it then accept you cannot do it. Easy to say but not easily done for a lot of us, for the simple reason is that we want to keep drinking. I had to be done with drink to be able to remain sober, not because i thought i should, someone else thought i should or for any reason other than i didn't want to do it anymore.
It's the only way to ever enjoy a sober lifestyle if you're an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks for bumping this post up Dee, otherwise I wouldn’t have seen it!
Really great reminder for me that moderating will never work. At a little over 3 months sober, and feeling good, I really needed a reminder why it won’t work for me.
Great post!
Really great reminder for me that moderating will never work. At a little over 3 months sober, and feeling good, I really needed a reminder why it won’t work for me.
Great post!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Moderation really does seem like a great plan.
i had blackouts in my 20's and moderated my intake down until I was in my 30s and drinking at home but that was moderated by only drinking X or Y or only 2 bottles or only any other excuse presented by the alcoholic mindset.
somehow I ended up binge drinking for several years and eventually I was back to drinking everyday, couldn't tell you how much, I just needed more to make it go away (!!!)
finally I came full circle and found myself 20 years on repeating the same cycle of drinking to make my problems go away, creating more and bigger problems for me and all those around me.
i was in despair when that final drunk kept haunting me and I couldn't cope with taking a drink anymore.
I found SR and AVRT, didn't leave the house for 2 weeks and I'm still on the sober bus.
thanks for sharing this 'that was me' post
i had blackouts in my 20's and moderated my intake down until I was in my 30s and drinking at home but that was moderated by only drinking X or Y or only 2 bottles or only any other excuse presented by the alcoholic mindset.
somehow I ended up binge drinking for several years and eventually I was back to drinking everyday, couldn't tell you how much, I just needed more to make it go away (!!!)
finally I came full circle and found myself 20 years on repeating the same cycle of drinking to make my problems go away, creating more and bigger problems for me and all those around me.
i was in despair when that final drunk kept haunting me and I couldn't cope with taking a drink anymore.
I found SR and AVRT, didn't leave the house for 2 weeks and I'm still on the sober bus.
thanks for sharing this 'that was me' post
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Great bump, Dee. Can’t tell you how many times I said I’ll only have this one drink. It’s impossible for me. Exhausting, quite frankly.
I read this somewhere here years ago: Alcohol-ism
ism= incredible short memory
which is why you should continue to nurture your sobriety. Don’t take it for granted.
I read this somewhere here years ago: Alcohol-ism
ism= incredible short memory
which is why you should continue to nurture your sobriety. Don’t take it for granted.
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